EPISODE 366: When You Prove Them Wrong and Success Still Doesn’t Feel Like Success with Esther Blum

00:00:01:02 - 00:00:33:00
Lisa
The very patterns that create success can quietly undermine your ability to experience it. Welcome to congruent. I'm Lisa Carpenter because at some point, success becomes about more than what you've built. It becomes about whether your life feels the way you thought it would. Each week I sit down with founders, executives, entrepreneurs, thought leaders and high capacity professionals to explore success, leadership, fulfillment and the experiences that shape them.

00:00:33:02 - 00:00:58:29
Lisa
Together, we examine how our definitions of success involve why accomplishment doesn't always create the life we expected. And what happens when we stop assuming our ways of thinking, leading and achieving are simply part of who we are. Because the question isn't whether you've achieved success, it's whether your success feels the way you thought it would.

00:00:59:02 - 00:01:24:02
Lisa
Her father told her straight to her face that she'd never be a success and she'd never make any money. She was in her 20s at the time, choosing a path he didn't respect. And instead of arguing with him, she just thought, watch me. She spent the next few decades doing exactly that, building a practice from nothing, filling it with celebrity clients, proving him wrong in every way she knew how.

00:01:24:04 - 00:01:48:08
Lisa
And she did prove him wrong. She built the life. So why did it take losing both of her parents and finally getting real help with everything she'd been carrying underneath for her to actually feel like she made it? Today's guest is someone I know personally because I've had the chance to coach Esther Blom myself. Esther is an integrative dietician, menopause expert, and host of the Midlife Realignment podcast.

00:01:48:10 - 00:02:18:03
Lisa
She's written five bestselling books, including. See you later, obvi. Later. And she recently gave a TEDx talk called The Prescription Pad of Misogyny on how Medicine fails Women in Menopause. Esther runs a gaslight free private practice and serves as an HHS ambassador advocating for midlife women. And for most of her career, she measured her own worth. The way a lot of high achievers do by proving it to someone else first.

00:02:18:05 - 00:02:42:27
Lisa
From the outside, her life look like the dream a packed calendar, a business built from nothing. A full roster of clients most people would kill for. But underneath it, she was running on fumes, and she eventually reached a point where she realized just how much trauma she'd been actually carrying. The little T and the big T, and how much of it had been quietly driving her all along.

00:02:43:00 - 00:03:09:21
Lisa
We talk about the prover and the polisher archetypes that ran her life for decades. The same patterns that you can uncover for yourself with the success Paradox assessment. Lisa Carpenter, Oxford Success Assessment. If you want to go, take it for yourself. And what it actually took for her to finally get support and start unraveling what was underneath and what it looks like to rebuild a business and life around piece instead of proof.

00:03:09:24 - 00:03:22:00
Lisa
If you've ever proven someone wrong and still, still felt like you had something left to prove. This episode is for you. So let's dive in.

00:03:22:02 - 00:03:45:01
Lisa
Oh, Esther, I am really excited to have you here. Because, while so many people know your work. I've gotten to know you personally. And, I've had an opportunity to work with you personally. So it's really cool that we get to sit down and have this deeper conversation. And what struck me about you wasn't just the success that you've created in your life, but it's your willingness to question yourself.

00:03:45:06 - 00:04:09:00
Lisa
So a lot of people aren't willing to be that curious about who they are. You know, to look honestly at your patterns, your beliefs and your ways of operating that helped you build an incredible career, and to ask whether they were still serving the life you wanted to create. So I've watched you become more intentional about how you work, how you lead, where you spend your energy, and what you're no longer willing to carry.

00:04:09:00 - 00:04:35:16
Lisa
And I think that this is a conversation so many people need to hear, because the patterns that create success aren't always the patterns that allow us to fully experience it. So I want to go in the Wayback Machine, and I would love to know if I was meeting Esther 25 years ago. Baby version of Esther. How would she have defined success?

00:04:35:18 - 00:05:13:24
Esther
Well, I thank you for having me on and for that lovely, introduction. So, 25 year old Esther was finishing her master's degree in clinical nutrition from New York University. She was proving to her grandfather that although she was not on the medical school track, that she would still be successful and still be academically entrenched and still really fight for what she believed, funnily enough, and what she was going for.

00:05:13:26 - 00:05:41:16
Esther
Funnily enough, Lisa, I was I got my Bachelor's of Science in Clinical nutrition, and I applied for two years in a row to become a dietitian. You had to back then do other 6 or 12 month internship. So I was applying to some very competitive internships two years in a row, did not get in at all. And so I called the head of the nutrition department, who I just adored.

00:05:41:16 - 00:06:11:24
Esther
She was such a bad ass. And I was like, what am I going to do with my life? Like, how am I going to get into the field of dietetics if I cannot get in to the field of dietetics? And the universe had a plan because the head of the director of the NYU master's program happened to have been doing a sabbatical at Simmons College, where I was, and she said, you're going to go you're going to meet Judy Gilbride for lunch and talk to her.

00:06:11:24 - 00:06:37:16
Esther
And I applied to NYU and Columbia for grad school and got into NYU, where Judy Gilbride was, and she said, hey, man, see you in the fall. And it was such a great program with such a great clinical internship. And that's how I landed. My first job as a hospital dietitian was from that whole experience. So I took a lot of no's to get to the yes, but wow, did that shape me like nobody's business.

00:06:37:16 - 00:06:56:28
Esther
Just the the failure after failure. Before you've even gotten out of the gate, you're like, how am I? It's like when somebody says, you know, got a published law books to get an agent. All right, well, how do you get an agent? You know, how how do you get an agent first to get the books published? It's a it's a tough field, you know, to get into.

00:06:57:01 - 00:07:05:02
Lisa
So how are you measuring success 25 years ago? Like, what were you what was the marker of that? Right. Because you said you wanted to prove to your grandfather I believe you.

00:07:05:02 - 00:07:06:04
Esther
Just said yes.

00:07:06:05 - 00:07:13:11
Lisa
Right. So how was it built on other people's interpretations of what success was?

00:07:13:13 - 00:07:38:20
Esther
Yes. It was built on the model of becoming a physician. Okay, grandfather. My grandfather was a surgeon. He was the tonsil king of Brooklyn, Harry Bluhm. He operated on Al Capone's henchmen and did so many tonsillectomy. Is that like when I opened up my private practice full time in New York, I rented space for my chiropractor, and she and her mother had their tonsils removed from my grandfather.

00:07:38:20 - 00:08:01:10
Esther
I mean, he did everybody. And so my father also was a chemist, and he made my father go to medical school. My father didn't have the spine to say no. And so when I said, I decide I'm going to go into dietetics, I'm going to become a dietitian. He said, what, are you not going to medical school?

00:08:01:10 - 00:08:23:02
Esther
You're never going to be a success. You're never going to make any money. And I was like, oh, watch me. So the 25 year old me was like, you get educated and you go make money and you. But what I wanted was to have a private practice. That was my ultimate goal, was to have a practice and a very flexible schedule.

00:08:23:04 - 00:08:47:20
Esther
Okay. And that is exactly what I have now. So amongst other things. But yeah, so that was success to me was. Yes. Okay. The financials were there, but I knew I didn't want to go into medical school and I sucked at physics, so I knew I probably wouldn't get any even if I wanted to. But I was a was a pre-med degree minus the physics.

00:08:47:20 - 00:08:51:26
Esther
So I was like, this is brilliant. This checks all the boxes for me.

00:08:52:00 - 00:08:56:07
Lisa
What I'm also hearing under there, which I can appreciate for myself because I've got.

00:08:56:07 - 00:08:56:20
Esther
Somebody.

00:08:56:20 - 00:09:14:21
Lisa
That like, oh, really? Watch, you know, that watch me energy. You say, I can't do it, watch me. And I think for many of the men and women that I talk to you, there is a big chunk of success really is about proving that we can do it, proving our worth to other people, proving that it doesn't matter what you say.

00:09:14:24 - 00:09:29:03
Lisa
So there's always an element. It's less about the destination of what success looks like and what it is. You can prove to other people to kind of validate our worthiness. It's a really twisted road that we walk in our. Yeah, those.

00:09:29:05 - 00:09:29:11
Esther
Aspects.

00:09:29:17 - 00:09:31:15
Lisa
That I find. So what.

00:09:31:15 - 00:09:32:11
Esther
Did you believe.

00:09:32:14 - 00:09:40:21
Lisa
That that success was going to bring you. So you talked a little bit about that. Your private practice freedom, flexibility.

00:09:40:24 - 00:10:07:03
Esther
That was really all I was able to see was between the ages of 25 and 30, my mother kept trying to marry me off because she was married at a very young age. She lost her first husband in a car accident and then and had a baby. At the time, my brother was, yeah, he was around 14 months and met my father remarried, so she'd been married to a dentist and a dermatologist.

00:10:07:03 - 00:10:31:21
Esther
She was a nurse. And so any time I was dating, she, like, she put so much pressure on me to get married. And I was like, I don't I'm not there. I'm not ready. The right guy hadn't come along like so for me, I my vision was short and it was small. It wasn't until years later when I had mentors who saw so much more in me than I ever saw myself.

00:10:31:21 - 00:10:55:00
Esther
I didn't I didn't have the imagination. I didn't have the tools that I do now. I wasn't meditating, I wasn't, I was just in survival mode. I was just like, how do I pay my bills now and get out of debt from this master's degree? How do I, you know, socialize and meet friends and, you know, start my life in New York City?

00:10:55:02 - 00:11:11:12
Esther
It was it was just really I guess I was just present and showing up the best I could and learning hungrily. Learning. But there wasn't much past that point at that time.

00:11:11:14 - 00:11:20:23
Lisa
Did you realize how much your identity and your worldview was being shaped by your parents?

00:11:20:26 - 00:11:50:12
Esther
Not, not to the depth that I do now. And it wasn't even my parents. My parents were not the influencers. It was my grandparents. They were much stronger role models for me. And my grandmother was very interesting. She was my grandfather's second wife. Her first wife died of cancer. And, she was very independent. She was a dietitian who my grandfather trained to be the anesthesiologist when they took out.

00:11:50:12 - 00:12:13:06
Esther
So, like, the two of them took out my tonsils. My grandfather had an operating room. He his house in Brooklyn was three stories. Maybe it was four. I it was huge. And the first floor I had, a consultation, had a waiting room, consultation and treatment room. It had an operating room. It had 12 pediatric beds and two adult beds.

00:12:13:06 - 00:12:38:23
Esther
And then it had a kitchen and dining room. So that's where I went to get my tonsils out was very second as a child. So, you know, it was my grandfather called a lot of shots. He was a very controlling, domineering man, very critical and tough. But also, I knew I was like his only hope. I was the only one in the family who went into medicine, who had an affinity for it, who had a love for it.

00:12:38:25 - 00:13:11:28
Esther
I, I truly enjoyed watching him and my father, like, make house calls and care for people. I spent a lot and my mother was a nurse. As I mentioned, grandmother became and then as geologist. So I enjoyed it. I loved science, I excelled at it. It was what I wanted to do. So they impacted me. But I didn't see it as a negative I because because I truly aligned with it and thought like, wow, healing is a really beautiful practice.

00:13:11:28 - 00:13:33:07
Esther
And how he cared for his patients and the time he spent with them and how he listened to them. I mean, he he didn't stop surgery till he was 80 and he practiced medicine till he was 95.5, four days a week. And they lived to be 105 and a half. He was also a painter, and he outlived both his wives.

00:13:33:07 - 00:13:47:23
Esther
So, yeah, I mean, it was a profound impact, but not all in a negative way. You know, I think my parents were very kind. They were just softer, you know, they were softer influence, a more gentle influence.

00:13:47:25 - 00:14:03:03
Lisa
I think that so often we don't realize how much the people around us shape our identity when we're young, because somebody who would grow up in a different environment than you grew up might not have, you know, like they're going to see the world through a different lens.

00:14:03:06 - 00:14:04:23
Esther
Yes.

00:14:04:25 - 00:14:29:09
Lisa
Our parents, whether they're song or critical, they do shape our beliefs about the world. And one of the most challenging things about knowing ourselves better is the willingness to question, what if this isn't true? Like, how much have I picked up that isn't actually me, but that was given to me that I've never thought to question because I get people all the time that say to me, well, it's just who I am, but it's never.

00:14:29:09 - 00:14:30:06
Esther
Just you, all.

00:14:30:06 - 00:14:48:02
Lisa
Right? Like you giggle. It's never just who we are and yeah, question these things. So when you said your, you know, your grandfather, he sounds like an amazing man to start with. Like where where are those doctors nowadays? I know they're still out there, but it's different times now. It's critical and tough.

00:14:48:05 - 00:14:49:10
Esther
And I was and.

00:14:49:10 - 00:15:11:25
Lisa
I know that you have also had many periods of in your, in your life where you've been very critical and tough on yourself, as most of the men and women that I work with are. So what did you learn about yourself in terms of, what that voice gives you, what you believe about it, and how you've had to soften it in your own life?

00:15:11:25 - 00:15:17:16
Lisa
Because if you live a life of constantly being critical and tough on yourself, that comes at a cost.

00:15:17:18 - 00:15:18:01
Esther
I believe.

00:15:18:01 - 00:15:20:13
Lisa
You've paid that price a little bit, so I'd love.

00:15:20:13 - 00:15:38:12
Esther
For you 100%. Well, I will also just add in a layer of perspective there, which is that I have childhood sexual abuse. So from the ages of 6 to 8 by a family member. So that also shapes.

00:15:38:15 - 00:15:39:13
Lisa
Yes.

00:15:39:15 - 00:16:05:29
Esther
The good girl, the striving perfectionist. The if I can can control these factors, then people will love me, treat me better, my life will be perfect and work out. I'll be the good girl. I'll do everything I'm supposed to do. So I think it was not. I mean, I think if my grandparents knew what happened, I mean, I think they would have gone bananas and be very protective.

00:16:05:29 - 00:16:38:07
Esther
I just never felt, I didn't feel compelled to even talk about it until I was 30. Wow. And so it really and I sought therapy, and really because I was so severely depressed that I woke up every day for a year crying and then was like, I better do something now. This is my time of reckoning. And it, so I think to answer your I don't know if is going to answer your question, but yes, I mean, the perfectionism and the proving which you taught me, the prover archetype and the polisher.

00:16:38:09 - 00:17:04:22
Esther
You know, I think that those pieces of my life also informed being very hard on myself, being self-critical. And also, I'm a Virgo, so it's like the trifecta of perfectionism right there. And over the years, though, Lisa, like, I have done a lot of beautiful work and really, you know, taken my inner child and hugged and loved on her and helped her.

00:17:04:24 - 00:17:24:08
Esther
You know, I still talk to her all the time and I stop myself. But just this week I'm like, Esther, take a breath and look at what you've done. Just take a breath. Just acknowledge it for a minute. And that feels really good because I never used to do that. I would never stop and take a look around.

00:17:24:08 - 00:17:45:21
Esther
I was like, well, I did that. Well what's next? I couldn't celebrate in the joy. I was too busy looking ahead instead of just like rooting myself to the ground and be like, why don't you smell the flowers? And like, go for a walk in silence? Why don't you spend time with your family and laugh and, like, taste the food you're eating?

00:17:45:21 - 00:17:54:29
Esther
You know, it just I think you naturally slow down and a little bit, but it took me a long ass time to get there. Lisa. Well, when you grow around house.

00:17:55:01 - 00:18:14:28
Lisa
Of achievers that are always achieving things right? And this is what you are surrounded with, it wasn't modeled for you to slow down and enjoy your life. It was modeled for you to go out and serve. Be of service. Yes, your family was all about be of service, so get out there and do stuff. We don't need to smell the roses.

00:18:14:28 - 00:18:38:14
Lisa
We're here for bigger purpose, but I believe it can be both and right. You're here to serve a really big purpose and you also get to smell the roses, taste your food, have a beautiful meal with your with your partner. So you are somebody who has legitimately navigated some serious trauma. And that takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of honesty with yourself, a lot of tears.

00:18:38:14 - 00:18:55:16
Lisa
It's not an easy thing to walk through. So I have a lot of appreciation for people who lean into that work because it's scary. But the consequences of not doing that work, as you said, was depression. And I also believe it manifests as illness in the body, which I think that we're both on the same page with that.

00:18:55:18 - 00:19:22:05
Lisa
So I'd love for you to talk more about, the importance, because you work with women around healing their bodies. And you do you walk the talk because you've also had to go through this yourself. So I would love for you to talk a little bit more about what that experience of healing your inner self looks like, because I think we often look for the external like, give me the pill, the powder, the potion, the injection, the thing, the right piece of food.

00:19:22:09 - 00:19:31:26
Lisa
And yes, there's a place for all of that, but I don't think people can just step over the internal work that is required for healing.

00:19:31:29 - 00:19:59:24
Esther
Yes, and it had a few different layers to it. There was no one thing. There were a few people along the way. I certainly worked with, a lovely trauma therapist. I worked with someone, just an incredible guide who did a lot of inner child work. But I still carried a lot of anger through that.

00:19:59:26 - 00:20:28:12
Esther
So ultimately, after my mom died, I was I still was struggling so much with depression, with anxiety. I was in wicked and stages of perimenopause. I didn't know it yet, but I needed a hysterectomy so badly. Oh, that was such a relief once I had that. But I was just really deep in the struggle and I felt like I couldn't even breathe anymore.

00:20:28:12 - 00:20:58:22
Esther
I felt like there was an inflated balloon in my abdomen and I couldn't get enough air around it. And I had been treating Amy Griffin, who wrote a book called The Tell, which I don't know if you have read that book. It is extraordinary. Her extraordinary recounting of how she was sexually abused by one of her teachers and blocked it and did a plant medicine journey.

00:20:58:22 - 00:21:22:11
Esther
She did a few, actually. But how that unearths and unleashed, you know, her healing journey. And I read the book and I could I was on a plane, my husband and son were next to me and I could not stop sobbing. It was uncontrollable. And I was like, it's my time. So I because I'm in the community, I have, you know, lovely resources.

00:21:22:11 - 00:21:53:07
Esther
So I hired a extraordinary guide and spent a day with him in New York using plant medicine. We used MDMA and psilocybin and wow, that was like the most powerful, transformative day that ignited so much change. Like, Lisa, if you and I had talked a year ago, I everything in my life was in a different place. My business, my mental health, my body like that ignited.

00:21:53:07 - 00:22:16:04
Esther
It really pulled the pin on the grenade in a very intentional and beautiful way. And there's very little of that. Those pieces of me that are still here, I didn't carry much force. I released and let go a lot, but was really able to have conversations that and say the words that need to be said and feel the feelings that needed to come out.

00:22:16:04 - 00:22:44:26
Esther
And it it just completely rewired my brain. And to this day I do micro dose. I go on courses of psilocybin like every other day. I'll take a very tiny amount, about 100, 225mg of psilocybin. And it got me. And it has enabled me to heal, to release. I meditate every morning. It just it was such a powerful, transformative gift.

00:22:44:26 - 00:23:03:11
Esther
And I don't know if it is for everybody. I'm not proselytizing that this is the magic cure. It's it's not for everyone. You have to be really ready for these journeys because the plants don't tell you anything other than what you don't need to know. But it also may not come in the form that you want it to.

00:23:03:14 - 00:23:26:21
Esther
So I went in not knowing what to expect. I had a ton of grief around 911, still trapped in there. I had no idea I was. I was there when the towers fell. I, I watched them on Fifth Avenue in New York, so I, I have that in there. I had, you know, childhood experiences. I had the death of a boyfriend and there, you know, it just a lot came up and now and it was just such a great clearing.

00:23:26:23 - 00:23:42:11
Esther
But the big takeaway for me, Lisa, was really finally, finally trusting myself and to stop outsourcing my agency to everyone else except me.

00:23:42:14 - 00:24:05:02
Lisa
I love that. I love that you said that for a variety of reasons, because, you know, some of the smartest people in the room, they really struggle with self trust. Yeah, it's an actual thing, right? Some of the highest achievers. And, I think what's also important for people to be hearing in your stories is what plant medicine does, is it it moves you past your conscious mind, right?

00:24:05:02 - 00:24:23:18
Lisa
The part of you that wants to control. Although I will tell you a story about my plant medicine journey which is funny, funny, not funny, and it allows people to feel. And when we grow up in homes where things are on kind of lockdown, like achievement matters, your feelings do not. Which is for many of the people that I work with.

00:24:23:20 - 00:24:39:27
Lisa
Like, we don't have time for your feelings, suck it up, get the good grades, be productive, go out there and serve humanity. Be kind to other people, but your feelings don't matter. So we learn to stuff these things down so we become what? What I lovingly refer to as emotionally constipated.

00:24:40:00 - 00:24:41:15
Esther
So, yes.

00:24:41:16 - 00:25:03:00
Lisa
Right. We become. And this is where disease is up in our body, because we've got all these emotions that people are like, I'm fine said, with different inflections depending on how fine they are. And people are not fine, they're just don't actually know how to feel. We've forgotten how to feel. Because, again, it's something that hasn't been nurtured in many of us.

00:25:03:02 - 00:25:28:08
Lisa
So I love that you had that experience and it allowed you to soften and and see what was already in you. And it all been in there all the time. Now when I went on my plant medicine journey. This is a funny I've never talked about this. I've legit never talked about this, not even on the podcast. So my first plant medicine journey and I had never done any plant medicine, not even when I was young.

00:25:28:08 - 00:25:47:07
Lisa
So one of my girlfriends would go out. I'd be like, you guys have a good time because I have a very strong controller part that works from a lot of fear, right? Like you, I'm in a lock. I'm going to lock things down and then I'll be okay. So under the guidance of my therapist, we decided we needed to soften the controller part.

00:25:47:07 - 00:25:55:26
Lisa
So I was going to have this journey. And you know, my controller part tried to control my entire journey and it was off it. So it took me.

00:25:55:26 - 00:25:57:28
Esther
Goes off voltage. You said it was awful.

00:25:57:28 - 00:25:58:25
Lisa
It was dark.

00:25:58:25 - 00:26:00:07
Esther
Oh, like, oh.

00:26:00:08 - 00:26:25:02
Lisa
I thought it was scary. But of course it was because I went into it like, okay, I'm going to be open and curious. I was not open and curious. I was like, we need to lock this down and how do I manage this? So I laughed after like once I kind of dissected what had happened to really recognize, like, wow, Lisa, this this is a part of you that really is operating still from a lot of fear.

00:26:25:05 - 00:26:44:22
Lisa
And if I'm trying to control what's going on, like in a plant medicine journey, which is ultimately when you're supposed to surrender and allow things to come up, where am I telling myself I'm not really trying to control things in my life, but I absolutely am. So the medicine, I think, will always reveal to you what it's meant to reveal.

00:26:44:25 - 00:27:23:16
Lisa
It's not always sunshine and roses, though. So, you know, anybody considering it? If anybody is listening, I'll give this disclaimer like, work with a professional. Make sure you have someone guiding you because you like it is a vulnerable place to be in. So you need to be with somebody that you really trust to help, to guide that journey and to help you integrate the lessons on the other side, because it can be very disruptive for people and, to, to choose to have a plant medicine journey, you have to choose to step into greater levels of personal responsibility around what that looks like, to nurture yourself on the other side.

00:27:23:16 - 00:27:45:28
Lisa
So I am so glad that you had that experience, that sound like it unlocked so much for you. So as you came out of that, I'm sure it, changed how you lead in your business. So after that, what really significantly shifted for you? Like, what were the biggest changes you saw in your leadership?

00:27:46:00 - 00:28:14:25
Esther
Well, my star team member who was a diet, a brilliant dietitian working with me, she resigned because she was burnt out from my practice, too. And I said, you started a revolution because everything else, that fell apart. Very. And it didn't I didn't question it. I sat and witnessed it and was like, yes, of course, of course, of course.

00:28:14:27 - 00:28:50:25
Esther
The final person standing was my assistant, who literally resigned the day I was going on vacation, December 19th, and I was like, okay, so it unraveled. My journey was May 2nd, 2025. It unraveled through December 19th, and I recognized in myself how how many things moved in an amazing way. Right? We we launched our son to college. We had to put our dog down two weeks prior, we launch our son.

00:28:50:27 - 00:29:19:12
Esther
I needed a hysterectomy, I recovered, we went on vacation like the fall just opened everything up. So when my assistant resigned, I was like, this is the end of this chapter. And I never hired somebody new. After that, I redid my entire team. Most of my team were women, ironically, because I treat women and perimenopause and menopause, they were all in perimenopause.

00:29:19:12 - 00:29:25:05
Esther
And I said, this isn't working for my business. Most of my team now are men.

00:29:25:07 - 00:29:26:09
Lisa
Interesting.

00:29:26:11 - 00:29:50:18
Esther
Which is so funny to me because they're more on the tech side, you know, podcast producer women go high level back, you know, they're men. I can be very straightforward. There's no personal discussions ever involved. It's so much calmer and clear not to be disparaging to women. I have a couple of women on my team, but, just much more well seasoned and older.

00:29:50:18 - 00:30:19:15
Esther
So there's it's a lot calmer. It's more peace. I am not losing any nights of sleep over any team members any more. I'm rebuilding financially. Because I took a step back from everything. And I realized just last week I was like, this is exactly what I manifested a year ago. Because a year ago I had said, in a year I don't want to be doing this anymore.

00:30:19:17 - 00:30:39:10
Esther
And that was literally written down in one of my coaching notebooks. And I was at the gym the other morning, and I was like, this was the life I imagined for myself. And I, you know, if you listen to any Joe Dispenza meditations, you know, he's like, see it like, imagine you waking up in your dream life, see it, feel it.

00:30:39:10 - 00:31:08:20
Esther
And I was like, I am in my dream life. I don't have to imagine it. We have slow mornings. We got a dog. I go to the gym, my husband's retired. We, you know, it's just like, I can be as busy or I'm busy as I choose. I don't feel influenced or pressured to join programs or hustle or, you know, do any of the things that I thought I needed to do to be a success.

00:31:08:22 - 00:31:32:21
Esther
I'm like, success can actually look different. You are the one who taught me. And I put this mantra on my phone, hold on, I'm going to pull this up because I say it all the time from our session. If this is not ringing endorsement, I don't know what it is, I love it. The more fun I have and the more playful I am, the more money I make and the more my business grows.

00:31:32:24 - 00:31:54:09
Esther
And girl, it's become. It's. I'm not saying it's sunshine and rainbows every day, but there's been a lot more that's coming in, and I've created space for a lot more to come in with less team, more calm. And it's I'm like thrilled I'm here. It has been really hard work to get here.

00:31:54:11 - 00:31:54:27
Lisa
And this is.

00:31:54:27 - 00:31:55:17
Esther
What I want.

00:31:55:17 - 00:32:38:18
Lisa
Everybody to hear. You know, we talk about transformation like it's this fun thing when you're shifting your identity, when you're when you're on becoming and transformation is literally like, I'm going to get naked. I'm going to crawl across like barnacle covered rocks with barbed wire above me and hope for the best. But truly, on the other side, if you can hold that tension of discomfort, of not being where you want to be and not being where you were, that that if you can hold that tension on other side as things start to fall away and the version of you today couldn't have brought the version of you from before, and if you had taken that

00:32:38:18 - 00:32:42:08
Lisa
mantra to your grandfather, he would have told you to get your shit together faster.

00:32:42:08 - 00:32:44:07
Esther
He would have been like, I know you would.

00:32:44:07 - 00:33:05:17
Lisa
Have been like, I don't know what silly girl out there told you that, but you need to work harder, right? And this is what I mean about looking at the influence that people have had on our identities that make us who we are, the the willingness to question that and let those parts melt way, is what will create those next levels and move us out the wrong, because we're not really here to work hard.

00:33:05:17 - 00:33:24:09
Lisa
So yes, do we have to do some hard things? Absolutely. But life is. We're meant to thrive. We are meant to thrive in life. And I think we all come here with certain lessons that were meant to learn, me included. You know, I talked about this the other day. Just because I'm a coach doesn't mean I get to bypass all the hard stuff.

00:33:24:09 - 00:33:43:16
Lisa
Like I'm often the one walking first and then inviting people to come with me. So it's just I really love hearing how things have transpired for you, and that you are genuinely continuing to build out that this life that you really want for you and your husband.

00:33:43:18 - 00:34:10:04
Esther
Yeah, it's. And listen, I will say it is not all sunshine and rainbows. Some days I have what I call a lack hangover, right? I still struggle with depression and anxiety or fear or uncertainty. I'm not great at staying in the unknowns, the uncontrollable, but that is when I always hear myself say and surrender more. You haven't surrendered enough to endure.

00:34:10:04 - 00:34:31:11
Esther
What is the take home, Esther? What is the lesson in all of this? In those in those moments, those deep, dark nights of the soul when you're really worried and you're like, I genuinely am not sure what's happening? Yeah. You're just like, what if you gave it over? What if you turn this over to the universe? What if you didn't have to push so hard and you just let it be?

00:34:31:14 - 00:34:53:05
Esther
What if you just, like, took a breath and went out of whack? And then that's kind of how and say, tomorrow is going to feel different. And that's kind of how I get through the dark days is like, not by numbing or, you know, the old me would have had a cocktail or two or, you know, whined about it now, and I just be quiet and just be still and it will be okay.

00:34:53:05 - 00:35:02:24
Esther
Light will pass, it will pass. So it's a constant work in progress. It is. I took a nap, meditate. I'd be in deep doo. No. Yeah.

00:35:02:25 - 00:35:29:21
Lisa
It literally is a commitment to yourself to manage your thoughts every single day, right? Because we are not our thoughts, we just the thinker of our thoughts. And our job is to show up and be responsible for the things that we are thinking, the things we are telling ourselves day in and day out. And when it comes to uncertainty, as I am telling everybody here that I still have like control things, clearly learning to embrace the only thing that is certain is uncertainty.

00:35:29:24 - 00:35:36:00
Lisa
The only thing that is certain is we will all one day leave this planet.

00:35:36:03 - 00:35:40:07
Lisa
Like that. That legit. You want to know what's certain? You'll die one day.

00:35:40:10 - 00:35:41:27
Esther
Yeah, but that's it.

00:35:41:29 - 00:35:59:15
Lisa
Otherwise, we are here to hold the tension of uncertainty and support ourselves through it. Right? You're talking about that inner child. Like, how would you support a child through places where they feel uncertain? We wrap our arms around them. We tell them how much we love them. We tell them that we've got them. We meet them with compassion.

00:35:59:18 - 00:36:12:05
Lisa
And that's what's required for ourselves. And, you know, surrender. I think a lot of people hear that word and they're like repelled by it. I know I used to be. One day, once upon a time, I was like, surrender, I'm not here to surrender.

00:36:12:08 - 00:36:13:25
Esther
I had to fight to win.

00:36:13:25 - 00:36:14:17
Lisa
I know you get.

00:36:14:17 - 00:36:17:18
Esther
This ancestor right. I'm here. Where's the control in that?

00:36:17:18 - 00:36:41:24
Lisa
Lisa, I come on, we're here to get shit done. But surrender isn't about giving up. It's about handing it over. It's about trusting the plan. Whether it's, you know, you subscribe to God, the universe, whatever it is. But it's trusting that everything is always working out for me. Even when I think, like, how in this mess is it working out?

00:36:41:27 - 00:37:04:11
Lisa
I promise you, I promise you it will. This is why we came here. To ride the roller coaster of life. We we get what we signed up for, and it's our job to meet ourselves with compassion as we're riding this exhilarating ride until we leave the planet. That's. That's kind of the, you know, the nutshell. Have some, have some fun with it.

00:37:04:11 - 00:37:10:29
Lisa
The good, the bad, the ugly. But we we actually need contrast. It's a universal law.

00:37:11:02 - 00:37:11:22
Esther
Yeah.

00:37:11:24 - 00:37:14:15
Lisa
So we don't like the contrast, but we need the contrast.

00:37:14:15 - 00:37:22:04
Esther
No, but we do. We do need. And that's where, sadly, the lessons are learned. In the hardest part, it is right.

00:37:22:04 - 00:37:46:02
Lisa
We we we want all the wins. But every time I've looked back on my life, it's the gold was always in the worst times. Some of the times I didn't think I was going to come back from. And I've had some of those times, right? Depression is is a real thing. It can be very, very scary. Okay, so I wanted to ask you because I think this is a good question for you to answer.

00:37:46:09 - 00:37:54:16
Lisa
What do you think high achieving women misunderstand about success?

00:37:54:19 - 00:38:02:05
Esther
Know? That's a great question. I think.

00:38:02:07 - 00:38:25:07
Esther
I guess I'll just speak on my personal experience. I think we think there's a few things. Number one is, I think in the beginning, a lot of us follow someone else's template until we figure out our own, because sometimes we genuinely don't know how to build a business from scratch. We genuinely don't know. So we follow other people's models.

00:38:25:10 - 00:38:58:19
Esther
But at some point we have to check in and ask ourselves, is this actually what I really want? I don't think I think women naturally are rule followers. Again, it's the good girl complex, right? And I think that we also I certainly have bought into stories of like, if you do this, then you will make seven figures. If you, you know, there's a lot of sexy sales funnels and all this stuff there is, oh my God, you do this, you're gonna make seven figures.

00:38:58:19 - 00:39:22:13
Esther
That's it. Nothing. And no one tells you the cost to your life. That seven figures can take, that you will need to have a team. Yeah, you will need to manage people. You will need to keep your eyes on the books because people are going to steal from you. They are. You will, you know. So it's like you will work on vacations whether you think you're going to or not.

00:39:22:13 - 00:39:44:25
Esther
You will you, you know, there's all these costs. So I think it's just and that's not to say women shouldn't have seven, eight, nine figure businesses just understand the cost and God willing, it's aligned with you. I mean, even I I've listened to so many podcasts with Sarah Blakely, who started Spanx and then did snakes, and I mean, she too.

00:39:44:25 - 00:40:09:08
Esther
It was like, or Bobby Brown selling her company, losing everything. Oh, gosh, there's so many people where they lost control of their company. They lost, you know, their people, they lost all their savings. It's like there's no guarantees on any of this. So if I could go back and meet my younger self, I wouldn't change the lessons.

00:40:09:10 - 00:40:36:19
Esther
But, you know, I think if I could have trusted myself earlier, I would have had a very different trajectory for sure. I don't think I would have maxed out my nervous system. I mean, it was again, I wouldn't change it like it was very I built a lot of confidence. I built a massively successful business from scratch.

00:40:36:19 - 00:41:02:18
Esther
I mean, I had a full roster of celebrity clients. I served at the highest level. I'm speaking at the white House now. Like there's a lot that came with that success. That was incredible. I would pinch myself, but my nervous system was vibrating at such a high frequency, and the anxiety and the exhaustion, I was always so exhausted.

00:41:02:18 - 00:41:17:27
Esther
I had no energy for me. I abandoned my family at times. I used to work to put in front of my ailing parents. At times, you know, it was there was a real cost that came with it.

00:41:18:00 - 00:41:35:03
Lisa
I love everything you said there, because what I find with so many people is we define success one way, and then we get to where we think that that like doing all the things right. This is success, but it never feels successful.

00:41:35:05 - 00:41:39:23
Esther
Right? Because you're always terrified of losing it. Whatever. You're kind of losing it.

00:41:39:23 - 00:42:07:07
Lisa
Or like, who want it? Like, where is success plus anxiety? Like where how are they supposed to go together? So for me, I've learned to define success not as a destination, not as some place that I want to get to or need to get to. My life will unfold. Things are always going to be awesome because I'm going to live from that place, but it's a feeling that I get to express every single day versus someplace we get to go to.

00:42:07:09 - 00:42:37:01
Lisa
And, yeah, like you, I wouldn't change any of the lessons, but I wish I had learned to define I wish I had define success differently when I was younger, but all I had was the frame that other people were giving me about what it was. And it takes some time to unravel that. So I love that. So do you have any boundaries now in your life that are non-negotiable, that keep you out of, self-sacrifice?

00:42:37:03 - 00:43:08:19
Esther
Yes. A lot. I really have, every year I do an inventory socially on, you know, is there anyone who it's, you know, grown away from outgrown. Don't feel good around. Is my nervous system dysregulated? So really consciously curating just really good people in my life who I feel really good with. And my time. My time is really such an important boundary.

00:43:08:19 - 00:43:28:05
Esther
I don't, I don't feel physically well when I work at night. I don't sleep well. I mean, after 4 or 5, I'm done for the day. I don't I'll send texts, you know, I'll go on walks. I usually try to book at the end of the day with a walk outside. Yes. I mean, sometimes I'm talking to Claud.

00:43:28:05 - 00:43:52:23
Esther
I'm working, but, like, it doesn't. It feels light. It doesn't feel heavy. And so, yes, I would say. And my bedtime, like, I don't negotiate. I sleep like my life depends on it, because it does. If I don't sleep, I'm just a wreck. So I mean that those are, I think the three things that I have really solid boundaries around it.

00:43:52:23 - 00:44:17:00
Esther
Just my circles have gotten smaller, which is strange to me because I'm such an extrovert or have been historically. But I feel like in midlife I'm just I have a lot more of Jomo than FOMO, you know, the joy of missing out of writing the fear and saying, yeah, like when plans get canceled. One of my favorite things is when I'm on the fence with plans and then it naturally gets canceled.

00:44:17:07 - 00:44:24:12
Esther
Or sometimes I reschedule and I'm like, you know, I just I don't have bandwidth for this. And that is like.

00:44:24:15 - 00:44:25:05
Lisa
Isn't that freeing?

00:44:25:06 - 00:44:29:24
Esther
I love that it takes a lot to get me out in the evenings.

00:44:29:26 - 00:44:30:12
Lisa
Me too.

00:44:30:14 - 00:44:32:06
Esther
I love your home. Yeah.

00:44:32:08 - 00:44:52:09
Lisa
I joke that I actually get on a plane to go places because I don't actually go any place locally, but I get and travel to see people and then get on a plane. So my home, my community here is like my my sanctuary. This is where I just like nest. And then I'll go and do my extroverted thing because I'm actually an introvert and then and then come home.

00:44:52:09 - 00:45:10:28
Lisa
So it's kind of this running joke that I have to get on a plane all the time to to connect with people creates this. It creates this boundary of like continents or provinces or states or whatever. Do you have a criteria that you run yourself through when you're making decisions about saying yes or no to things?

00:45:11:00 - 00:45:44:03
Esther
Yes. It's really simple. It's either a hell yes or a fuck no or a no for now. But honestly, I have really. It took me years. What? It's probably taken me three years. Like the inner child work, plus the journey. Yeah, I did, so let's say three and a half and be fair, it's taken me three and a half years to finally be at a place in my business where I'm so clear.

00:45:44:03 - 00:46:15:01
Esther
I just listen to this. If I stop breathing, if my gut starts clenching, I'm like, no. I got on what I thought was a networking call with somebody. Somebody had fixed us up and was like, oh, you're doing more public speaking. You should speak to this person. I thought it was a casual conversation. Then the next thing I know, she's upselling me or trying to upsell me into five figure coaching for half a day or a day, I was like, I didn't I didn't actually sign up for this call.

00:46:15:01 - 00:46:34:06
Esther
So I really clearly said it's a no for now. She's like, what do you think? It's a no for now? I said, a don't even try and get me into your mastermind. I'm not coming. So it was she was like, okay, okay. I said, I certainly appreciate that. So and I laughed. It's funny, I was thinking about this morning.

00:46:34:06 - 00:46:52:28
Esther
I was like, that is so hysterical to me. Because, again, not just that 2025 version of me would have been like, am I doing it? FOMO? Oh my God, I should be doing it because of it was very lack. It was wrapped in lack. Lisa. It was like, well, if I don't do that then I'm not. I'm not gonna be able to figure out how to do it on my own.

00:46:53:00 - 00:47:15:22
Esther
Yes you will. You always figure it out. Leverage your network. Start asking boots on the ground, bootstrap your way like you'll get there. But I'm not going into some sleazy sales call from somebody. I have no relationship. No connection with somebody. I didn't ask, I didn't inquire and say, tell me about your coaching services. She just started asking me questions.

00:47:15:22 - 00:47:41:01
Esther
I thought she was genuinely curious and then tried to sell me into a program. I was like, oh, so the old me would have really questioned, agonized. Yeah. Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said no. I wouldn't have trusted my gut. And now I just listened to my gut every time. It's always, always right. And it took me so long because I didn't trust myself when I was younger.

00:47:41:01 - 00:48:06:18
Esther
Because with that sexual abuse. Right. I allowed it to happen because I didn't know it was wrong. I was six years old. I didn't know it was wrong. Right? So it took me so long to not suppress feelings and not bury them just enough under the surface where I couldn't access them enough to say this doesn't feel right.

00:48:06:21 - 00:48:43:15
Esther
So now it's like things are so here I my feelings are right in front of me at all times, for better or worse. I am very clear on how I'm feeling about things. It may take me if it's a no. For now. I usually say let me process that. I'm a slow processor on other uncertain decisions. I really need time to process and research, but once I get a visceral emotional reaction, I trust that now every time, because it's never been wrong and any time I ignore it, boy, does that bite me in the ass.

00:48:43:19 - 00:49:00:13
Esther
Or any time I've been kind when I should have said fuck off or and then I'm like, stewing about it after I'm resentful, I'm angry. So I'm not perfect at it. But nine times out of ten, I'm usually pretty good. I'll take that. I mean, I'm human.

00:49:00:13 - 00:49:23:19
Lisa
But I love that feelings give us such profound, feedback. Right? That's what they're there for. Their their feedback loops. And when you're overcoming, like, the good girl who would just say yes to be nice or feels like she's getting it wrong and needs to say yes, because this person must know more. That's heart like that doesn't feel good.

00:49:23:19 - 00:49:42:13
Lisa
If you're like, no, I can't do this. You have to be able to sit with the discomfort. But what your journey opened up for you, and is it made you comfortable with being with your feelings regardless of what they are? So now you can actually utilize them to your benefit. Now they're a power position for you. So you know what it feels like when you're trusting yourself.

00:49:42:16 - 00:49:47:25
Lisa
And you know what it feels like when you don't trust yourself. At least that's what I'm hearing under this.

00:49:47:28 - 00:50:13:23
Esther
Yes, 100%. And yes, I have a lot more clarity around how I use also as my guidepost. How do I want to feel today? How do I want to feel? What is my future life feel like? What is part my dream life? I shouldn't say future life like what is my dream life feel like? Well, to me, inner peace is my greater flex.

00:50:13:28 - 00:50:37:09
Esther
That is my dream life. I could be in a mansion. I can be in a shack. As long as I feel peaceful, I don't care. It's not, you know, it's to me that is like if anything is disrupting my peace. That is a barometer again, obviously. Listen, I have a teenager in college. Human. He disrupts my peace. I have a new puppy.

00:50:37:15 - 00:51:01:04
Esther
He just rest, right? That's a human experience. I'm not meditating on it, you know, on top of a mountain in robes all day. But. But as long as I can stay regulated, my nervous system stays regulated. I can handle chaos. If it's not a personal. If it's not, as long as, like, I'm in alignment with myself. It's right.

00:51:01:05 - 00:51:06:12
Esther
The external things let them happen, and you can cope a lot better.

00:51:06:12 - 00:51:23:16
Lisa
If a system is supposed to react to things around us like that's its job, right? We're not actually supposed to be regulated 24 over seven. Yeah, system is a response mechanism. So we can adjust like if we're is standing in the middle of the road and a car is coming towards us, our nervous system needs us to respond.

00:51:23:16 - 00:51:56:11
Lisa
Right. But it's learning to listen to that feedback. And how quickly can I get myself back to a state of peace? And this is what I'm hearing throughout this entire conversation of your journey, is you grew up never being a peace. And then through all these different experiences in your life, you've learned how to tap in, express your feelings, be with your feelings, validate your feelings, make them valuable, which a lot of people again, don't make their feelings valuable and learn how to leverage them so that you can be living a life that feels good for you.

00:51:56:11 - 00:52:01:04
Lisa
And it's not going to be peaceful all the time. Because again, roller coaster of like, yeah, just it's.

00:52:01:04 - 00:52:09:21
Esther
The yes. But it was I mean I thank you and yes. And I also think

00:52:09:23 - 00:52:40:10
Esther
The other big thing I think high achieving women do, or at least I fell into the trap for a long time, is believing the person in front of me who would you know or sell me into? Like, this is your only solution and not trusting that. Like, I could figure out other solutions for myself, that there's more than one way to skin a cat, that there's no one best way that you're trajectory is going to evolve.

00:52:40:10 - 00:53:16:01
Esther
So it that, to me was like the ultimate reclamation of power and self was like, take it or leave it. Especially when my assistant laughed. That was such a gift because it enabled me to just say like, come, go, well, come, stay, go, whatever. I'll figure it out. And so I really figured out, like a lot. I'm really sucky at tech, but it forced me to figure out a lot of back end pieces to my business, which I wasn't before, that were things that I was missing that now I don't miss.

00:53:16:04 - 00:53:43:27
Esther
So there's that was also really, a confidence building exercise that I'm really grateful it happened. It was really hard and unpleasant at first. But, you know, I knew I knew I was like, I need these skills. I need to know what's going on. More in my business, I did uncover I went to a tarot card reading this awesome woman, and she's like, you're surrounded in deception.

00:53:43:29 - 00:54:05:12
Esther
And I was like, wow, that's not what I thought she was going to say. And I found out that my accountants who worked for me for like 2 or 3 months, stole $5,000 from me, and I was still fighting for the bank to get it back, and I'll get it back. But like things that I missed because I had handed over my agency to other people.

00:54:05:15 - 00:54:30:02
Esther
And you have to be very careful with that. Or, you know, I found tons of work. Kitty cat, I found tons of work that, you know, hadn't been done that I paid people to do. So, you know, you're just like, okay, those were hard lessons, but it was my fault. You know? I hadn't been paying close enough attention, so good things came out of it.

00:54:30:02 - 00:54:34:17
Esther
It makes you stronger, wiser, more resilient.

00:54:34:19 - 00:54:56:22
Lisa
It's it's just part of a leadership journey. Right. And it's yeah, we think about leadership as leading other people. And leadership is actually how am I leading myself. And for some of us were internally referenced and for some of us were externally referenced, and for some of us were a combination of both. And for people who can be externally referenced, we can be easily guided by other people.

00:54:56:22 - 00:55:12:18
Lisa
Other people know better than us. I should listen to them. And coming back to a place of like, wait a minute, I can trust myself to make decisions and where do I need to lead myself better and where do I need to stop, step into my own knowingness? And even if I get it wrong, I'm still getting it right.

00:55:12:20 - 00:55:14:25
Lisa
Because you can't really get it right.

00:55:14:28 - 00:55:16:14
Esther
Because everybody who.

00:55:16:14 - 00:55:47:18
Lisa
Has a piece of advice or guidance, and even as a coach, I do not know what's best for my clients. I can offer them perspectives, but they actually have to determine inside them what's going to work. My job is to dismantle patterns. Everybody comes at anything they're giving you from their frame of reality, and everybody's frame of reality is a specific blueprint for them, and it's not necessarily going to match your frame of reality.

00:55:47:18 - 00:56:10:19
Lisa
So somebody could say to you, oh, you can only sell like, you know, a $39 product in a funnel. I don't have any funnels, but, you know, I've been around for a while. You can only sell a $39 product in a funnel because that's based on what's worked for them. They're their model of reality. Where's this other people that are like, oh no, you can bring in cold traffic and sell $1,000 thing and thousand dollar widget.

00:56:10:21 - 00:56:41:15
Lisa
So nobody has the answer for you. We can just choose our teachers, our guides, wisely. Be discerning. I know I've had to learn over the years. Be discerning. Lisa. Keep your circle tight. Keep your circle of influence tight because I can be externally referenced. So I've had to really watch. Well, I'm going to I'm going to listen to what they have to say about what feels true for me and that journey to learning to to trust yourself, the journey that you've been on, the journey that I've been on it.

00:56:41:21 - 00:57:04:29
Lisa
It's a hard fought journey and it's not one I'm going to hand over soon. You know I'm not going to hand it back over. So this was such a rich conversation. There's so much goodness in everything that you shared. And what I really want to do with these conversations is let people behind the scenes of what it really looks like, right?

00:57:04:29 - 00:57:23:27
Lisa
Because we see the flashy branding and we see the people standing on stages, and we've got podcasts and we've got, you know, we're standing up as leaders. But behind the scenes, we're just messy humans trying to figure it out as we go. Right? It's this, this life of like, unlearning everything you learned in the first half of life.

00:57:23:27 - 00:57:45:12
Lisa
And then in the back end of life, you got to start taking off all the things that just don't belong to you. And I love that. That's what you've been doing. And I love what it's opening up for you. And it makes me really excited about what's going to be coming next for you on the journey. Because when you clean out your closet in the way that you did, there's a lot of room for new clothes.

00:57:45:14 - 00:58:02:01
Esther
You office. Oh my God, that conversation was like a hug. You're an extraordinary interviewer, so thank you. I actually I was teared up during parts of it. It was really you cracked it all open as you always do. So thank you. This was a gift for me as well.

00:58:02:03 - 00:58:20:25
Lisa
And it just I believe in I believe in stories. I think that we learn and grow and dismantle things by hearing people's stories. I think that I'm in goosebumps. I think that's why we're given our lessons, because when we have the courage to share those lessons that we walk through and share our stories, somebody is going to listen.

00:58:20:25 - 00:58:40:23
Lisa
And it always happens, and somebody will say, that is exactly what I needed to hear. I didn't even realize that was a thing. I'd never at that perspective. I just thought that was who I was. So when women like you come on and have the courage and the willingness to just go deep into whatever corner I'm going to take you into, I appreciate it, Esther.

00:58:40:23 - 00:58:57:22
Lisa
Tell everybody where they can find you if they want to follow you on Instagram. Because and you know, you are a very well established professional. You are one of the top at what you do. Like you said, you're in the white House advocating for women. Now let everybody know where they can find you.

00:58:57:24 - 00:59:10:20
Esther
On Instagram at Gorgeous Esther on my podcast, The Midlife Realignment and on my website, Esther Buncombe. That's East Bloom. I love your.

00:59:10:20 - 00:59:13:02
Lisa
Instagram handle is gorgeous. Esther.

00:59:13:02 - 00:59:35:17
Esther
Every time. Yeah, I, I love this so much. Oh thank you. Well I my first book, everyone thinks it's because I'm calling myself gorgeous, but my first book was eat, drink and Be Gorgeous. Now that is the inspo. But sure, I call myself gorgeous. And it's funny. I mean, people send me gifts all the time that say hello gorgeous!

00:59:35:19 - 00:59:47:25
Esther
And I even have a neon sign. Someone gave it to me in my living room and and the boys. My family is like, mom, that's great because, yeah, just it is my brand and it's a lovely brand. It is.

00:59:47:29 - 00:59:49:09
Lisa
It's amazing. Well, thanks for.

00:59:49:09 - 00:59:50:05
Esther
Joining me today.

00:59:50:05 - 00:59:52:19
Lisa
Esther has been a great conversation.

00:59:52:21 - 00:59:54:00
Esther
Thank you.

00:59:54:02 - 01:00:15:25
Lisa
I've spent decades watching successful people ask themselves the wrong questions. Here's the right ones. What if everything you've been trying to change isn't actually the thing that needs your attention? What if it's not about working harder, or pulling more late nights, or waiting for circumstances to change? What if it's not about your body, your bank account, or anyone else's behavior?

01:00:15:28 - 01:00:40:15
Lisa
What if it's not about learning more, having more, proving more, or accomplishing more? What if who you think you are and what you think you need were never actually true? And everything that you've been told about success, fulfillment, and happiness, everything you've even been celebrated for, is nothing more than an illusion and a highly calibrated way of coping.

01:00:40:18 - 01:01:06:09
Lisa
The Success Paradox assessment is where you get to find out. It's not another list of things to change. It's the first real look at the patterns, the beliefs, and the paradigms that have been running your life under the surface and exactly how to shift them. So success can finally feel as fulfilling as it looks. Could ten minutes save you years on the path you're already walking?

01:01:06:11 - 01:01:13:22
Lisa
I'll let you take it and find out for yourself. So go to Lisa Carpenter, aka Forward slash assessment.