Lisa shares a raw, personal story from her transformative month-long solo journey through Spain and Morocco. After 2023 turned her world upside down, she found herself carrying literal rocks that represented her deepest pain – and discovered why we cling to suffering even when we desperately want to be free.
This isn’t your typical “just let it go” advice. This is the real, messy truth about what it actually takes to release what’s holding you back.
The Story That Changes Everything
While walking the Camino, Lisa picked up two rocks representing specific pains in her life. What happened next reveals the hidden psychology behind why we stay stuck:
- She carried one rock for thousands of kilometers across multiple countries
- She checked on it daily, panicking if she couldn’t find it
- She knew she wanted to let it go, yet actively protected it
- She realized she was doing the same thing mentally with her pain
The uncomfortable truth: We get addicted to our pain because it feels safer than the unknown.
Why Smart, Successful People Stay Stuck
The Pain You Know vs. The Pain You Don’t
- Familiar suffering feels more manageable than uncertain healing
- Your pain becomes your identity, making you fear who you’d be without it
- Past hurt tricks you into thinking it’s protecting you from future hurt
- The secondary benefits of pain (attention, sympathy, avoiding decisions) keep you hooked
The Certainty Trap
When you’re carrying emotional rocks, you know exactly what to expect each day. Without them? Complete uncertainty. And uncertainty feels dangerous to high achievers who built their success on control and predictability.
The Real Work Begins After You Let Go
Here’s what no one tells you: Releasing the pain is the easy part. The hard part is the commitment you make afterward.
When Lisa finally threw her rock into the ocean, she committed to:
- Never allowing those thought patterns to take root again
- Redirecting her mind when it wanted to revisit the pain
- Building a completely new foundation based on her values
- Moving forward without looking back
This is why most people fail at letting go – they think the release is the end, when it’s actually the beginning.
Your Turn: The Rock Exercise
- Identify your rocks – What pain, story, or identity are you carrying?
- Get honest about the payoff – What are you getting from holding onto this?
- Find actual rocks – Create physical representations of what you want to release
- Carry them – Notice how you check on them, protect them, worry about them
- Define your commitments – What will you be committed to when you let go?
- Release with ceremony – When you’re truly ready, let them go meaningfully
Why This Matters for Driven People
If you’re someone who has “everything figured out” on the outside but feels disconnected on the inside, this episode is for you. Lisa’s story shows that:
- Success doesn’t protect you from needing to do deep emotional work
- The same intensity that drives achievement can keep you stuck in pain
- True leadership requires facing the parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding
- Your capacity for joy will only match your willingness to feel everything else
The Bottom Line
Stop saying you’re “working on letting go.” Either you’re ready to let go, or you’re not. And if you’re not, get honest about why. What’s that pain doing for you? What would you have to commit to if it wasn’t there?
The life you want is waiting on the other side of the rocks you’re carrying. But you have to be willing to put them down and walk forward empty-handed.
Ready to do this work? Lisa is accepting new one-on-one coaching clients and has spots available in her Reclamation program. Because some transformations require support, and this is one of them.
If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you take on the rock exercise, tag Lisa on Instagram @lisacarpenterinc – she’d love to witness your journey.
