EPISODE 289: ENCORE One Thing You Can’t Not Do If You Want to Be Successful

00;00;01;22 - 00;00;27;13
Lisa
Welcome to the Full Frontal Living podcast. I'm Lisa Carpenter, master life coach to driven, ambitious humans who want more out of life without having to sacrifice themselves to achieve it. I'll share how it's possible to slow down. Take better care of yourself. Find more peace and ease. Create sustainable energy. Stop procrastination and overwhelm and fall in love with your life, your business and your body.

00;00;27;16 - 00;00;46;16
Lisa
This podcast is for you. If you're ready to learn what it takes to thrive as a high performer, do less but achieve more. Make you and your well-being a top priority, and create your extraordinary life. I'm so glad you're here.

00;00;46;19 - 00;01;18;07
Lisa
Well, hey. Hey, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Full Frontal Living podcast. I'm your host, us, Lisa Carpenter. And, I'm here to deliver another episode of Brand Success. I have been having conversations with clients right now around expectations, and I thought I would come on here and share with my listeners some of the things that I've been dropping into my clients boxers with, because when my clients are working with me 1 to 1, we have ongoing conversations in Voxer.

00;01;18;07 - 00;01;45;29
Lisa
If you've never heard of Voxer, it's a walkie talkie app. It's one of my favorite tools that I use as a coach, because it means between sessions, I can still be supporting my clients and they have a direct line to communicate with me. If stuff comes up. I'm a very, hands on coach. I'm here to support my high level 1 to 1 clients, and we've been talking about success and what success looks like and how we define success.

00;01;45;29 - 00;02;10;15
Lisa
And last week I shared, you know, that it's been two plus decades of me creating this overnight success that everybody sees. And so often when we start something new, so many of you have this expectation that, you know, in three months from now you should be somewhere that you're not, or six months from now you should be somewhere that you're not.

00;02;10;17 - 00;02;39;06
Lisa
And when I look at just the past, you know, 11 years from the time, you know, Jake was born until now, he just turned 11. Last Friday, we had his birthday party all weekend, which, let me tell you, hosting six boys. It's been a while because of, you know, Covid. Who has exhausted. This is why I'm recording this episode on Monday and not on my typical Sunday, because I was toasted after the birthday party.

00;02;39;09 - 00;03;02;22
Lisa
But you know, coming back to when I reflect on those 11 years, you know, I had Jake and then six months later, my hubby went into rehab. And that's really when my life changed. That's really when I had to start taking responsibility for what was going on in my life, right? All of it. And I felt like I was standing in a giant pile of manure, to be quite honest.

00;03;02;25 - 00;03;42;18
Lisa
You know, he had to get sober from his addictions, but my addictions to my own behaviors and ways of being man, that took a long time to unravel, took a long time. And I still am working on myself. But the difference is, now, you know, I'm not a job. I'm not a project. I'm a lifelong learner that shows up with a lot of love and compassion for myself as I discover more things that I'm like, wow, I didn't know I was carrying around that story, but I remember when I first was cracked wide open and I was just so desperate for my life to be different, saying like, when am I going to be

00;03;42;18 - 00;04;08;19
Lisa
there? When am I going to feel better? When are these lessons going to land? When is my life going to change? And I can honestly say that there wasn't a moment where I was like, wow, went like, here comes the unicorn. Everything is so different now. It didn't happen that way. It was the daily showing up for myself, doing the things, putting that new awareness that I had into practice.

00;04;08;21 - 00;04;33;21
Lisa
Because this is a big part of self-development. You can create all the awareness you want, you can roll around in it, you can bathe in it. But if you don't actually move to a place of accepting like, oh, this is a thing you do, and now how can you start practicing changing it? How can you start taking action, having those hard conversations do the things you've been avoiding doing, being in the discomfort?

00;04;33;21 - 00;04;57;00
Lisa
Not much will change. And whether it's growing a business or changing your life, because I do have a lot of of clients that are also running their own businesses. The expectations that, well, I should just decide that I want this and I should be able to stamp my fingers. And after three months of doing the things, everything should have transformed.

00;04;57;02 - 00;05;18;18
Lisa
It just doesn't work like that. So, you know, all of this was kind of coming through me when I was at the gym because I've just started, a very slow, slow cut. This is how I cut works. I've just come off a build, which is where, you know, I'm eating more and I'm trying to actually gain some lean mass, which for a woman, almost turning 50 is super hard.

00;05;18;18 - 00;05;40;11
Lisa
Got to eat a lot of food. And now I'm going into a cut and it's a long process. So we're in June. It's June 20th today, and my cut will take me all the way to the end of October. Because it's not about weight loss, it's about body recomposition. So it's about holding onto every last ounce of my lean mass while trying to, slowly strip off the body fat.

00;05;40;11 - 00;06;12;23
Lisa
So it's a it's a long process. So think about that from June all the way to October. And my build was from, September of last year, all the way until now, June. And this is the second time I've gone through this. It takes time and success follows effort. Now, effort is not doing all the things. Effort isn't spinning around being busy.

00;06;12;29 - 00;07;02;03
Lisa
Effort isn't me running around the gym like a crazy person. Effort is me going in, executing on my plan right? Working hard at the things that work, keeping it simple, sticking to the basics, tracking my data, knowing what is working and what isn't working. Making changes and adjustments based on the data. Okay, we're so many of you. You start doing the things and then you add more because you're trying to get there faster, you're trying to create more success faster, and then all of a sudden you're caught up in all this busy work and you've dropped the ball on the things that are most important in creating success, which are the non sexy things.

00;07;02;03 - 00;07;30;21
Lisa
They're the things you have to do day in and day out. As one of my coaches likes to say, chop wood, carry water, those things that just have to happen every single day. And so much of when we're looking at self-development work is really being prepared to lose those use, not lose. Use those tools every single day. And listen, some days you're going to epically fail at it.

00;07;30;23 - 00;07;52;04
Lisa
And I can honestly tell you, over the past couple of years, I have landed on my face more times than I care to admit. I have done podcast episodes about how I've had to learn to stay out of that place of being hard on myself because, you know, quote unquote, I should know better, right? I got all the tools, and there are some days I was like, I didn't even take the toolbox out.

00;07;52;12 - 00;08;15;22
Lisa
I shoved the toolbox under the bed. I stomp my feet. I held my attention on things that didn't serve me, and I. I created and perpetuated my suffering. Of course, they're hammering outside now, but, you know, we keep it real here. So some of these tools that take practice, the success that you want, the effort is going to be on.

00;08;15;29 - 00;08;35;27
Lisa
Where are you focused? Are you focused all the time on what you don't have, what isn't working, what you did wrong, how you messed up again? Or are you focused on collecting the data on the things that are working? Are you focused on how you want to feel, and are you staying committed to what makes you feel good?

00;08;36;04 - 00;09;01;16
Lisa
So this doesn't mean that you're going to feel like sunshine and roses every single day. Okay? You're here to have a human experience, but can you truly say that you are committed to the fundamental basics that are going to support you feeling good? Because here's the thing if you are not getting enough sleep every day, good luck. Good luck staying in a positive, mind space.

00;09;01;22 - 00;09;23;22
Lisa
Okay? Because as one of my friends likes to say, a tired brain is an asshole. And if you are sleep deprived, if you've put your sleep at the bottom of the barrel because you're working around the clock, or you're doing all the things to stay busy, you're going to feel like garbage, and it's going to be hard to manage your thoughts, manage your attention, and manage your emotions.

00;09;23;24 - 00;09;51;19
Lisa
Okay, so you're going to be beating yourself up a lot if you're sleep deprived. So one of the foundational things, and this is why I talk about rest as a success strategy, is making sure you're rested. Are you? Because part of the effort that goes into success is about making rest a priority. Are you feeding yourself regularly? I can't begin to tell you how many of my clients have.

00;09;51;20 - 00;10;13;24
Lisa
I have to get them back to this place of like, are you regularly feeding yourself or are you getting up, having a cup of coffee and then running for hours doing whatever it is you're doing only to shove something else in your mouth? You know, like you cannot treat your your body, your nutrition like an afterthought. Okay? The body is the physical vehicle that you're doing life in.

00;10;14;00 - 00;10;36;11
Lisa
You wouldn't expect to just get in your car and never put gas in it and expect it to run at optimal levels. Yet, are you actually taking care of your physical well-being? Are you feeding yourself at a fundamental level? Are you eating regularly throughout the day because that is also going to support your energy? So this is another place that requires effort.

00;10;36;11 - 00;10;56;27
Lisa
If this isn't something that you're used to doing, you're going to have to put some attention on this. Are you hydrating? Do you know that one of the most common symptoms of dehydration is fatigue? So you might think that you're exhausted, but when was the last time you put back some water? Okay, water is something you should have on your desk.

00;10;56;27 - 00;11;14;25
Lisa
You should be drinking, you know, 2 to 3l a day. I don't know how many gallons that is. For those of you who go by gallons, you can go Google that. But you should be putting back a significant amount of water every day. Your body is made up mainly of water. It helps your body detox, keeps everything running effectively.

00;11;14;27 - 00;11;39;22
Lisa
Water is such a key foundational part, and this is again the foundational pieces of effort that you need to put in. And connecting. You know, if you're working all the time, if you're busy all the time, you're not taking time to slow down, have some fun. Right? So when I say success follows effort, it doesn't mean that your efforts all the time.

00;11;39;25 - 00;12;04;00
Lisa
It also means that you're living your life, you're enjoying yourself, and you're doing the things that feel fun and that feel good, that allow you to connect with yourself and connect with the people that you love. That's what it's about. Okay? So know the things that you need to do that are going to move you forward. But don't let go of everything else in your life, okay?

00;12;04;00 - 00;12;34;27
Lisa
That's really, really important. So, you know, ten years ago, 11 years ago, when I look back, I was reactive to everything. I was constantly living in not enough, not enough money, not enough clients, not enough. There's not enough that I could not see the abundance all around me. I was chasing money, right? I was determined that I was going to pay off my debt, but all I was doing constantly was focusing on my debt and focusing on what I didn't have.

00;12;34;29 - 00;12;55;29
Lisa
Right? I wasn't managing my emotions. I wasn't managing my attention. And that can be challenging. So you might have the awareness that this is where you're holding your attention to. But the practice of shifting your energy and shifting how you're going to see the world. And that doesn't mean that you just pretend like you don't have debt or you don't have problems.

00;12;55;29 - 00;13;22;19
Lisa
It's not about bypassing all of that. It's about making a conscious decision about putting your energy in a place that's going to support the outcome that you want, instead of trying to get away from what you currently have. There's a very big difference, right? You've probably heard me say before in the podcast, there's a big difference between, being 100% committed to your wellness versus trying to avoid illness.

00;13;22;22 - 00;13;48;01
Lisa
Big difference in terms of how you hold your attention and the actions you'll take. Same thing in life. If you want success, you have to look at where are you holding your attention? Are you putting your attention on the things that you need to put effort into? And it's not just going to happen if you sit back and like on your way there, okay, we have to take action.

00;13;48;01 - 00;14;12;07
Lisa
And this is a real problem that I'm seeing in the self-development industry, is we're creating all this like awareness for people. But again, like without the taking action, without the going and doing of the things, nothing is going to change. Nothing is going to change. Yet you'll be stomping your feet that you're not having the success you want.

00;14;12;09 - 00;14;34;09
Lisa
Okay, so letting go of expectations that you should be anywhere different than you than you are right now. And so how are these like unrealistic expectations? So in the real world, not necessarily in the online world, because in the online world everybody has this expectation, or most people have this expectation that they're going to create $1 million overnight.

00;14;34;12 - 00;14;54;24
Lisa
That was not my story. I'm sure there's unicorns out there that have done that. But if you are running a business, if you were to open a bricks and mortar business, nobody would expect you to be profitable within the first year. Okay, that's just an unrealistic expectation for most bricks and mortar businesses, right? They have to build up their clientele.

00;14;54;24 - 00;15;17;01
Lisa
They have to pay for their inventory. They have to pay for their lease. Yet so often people move online to grow their business. And this was me, right? I moved online and launched my course. And then I was like, where are the people? Why am I not making $1 million? I had no idea. I had no idea what was required to run a business.

00;15;17;01 - 00;15;53;18
Lisa
I was amazing practitioner. I was an awesome coach, but I didn't know what it meant to be a business owner or a CEO. There were so many things that I have had to learn over the past two decades of what it actually takes to create success, and I want you to hear this and understand that when we get into that position of believing we should be somewhere we're not, that literally keeps us stuck in this energy of beating ourselves up instead of in a place of acceptance.

00;15;53;18 - 00;16;15;25
Lisa
Right? Acceptance opens the door for expansion. So I have to accept this is what I built in this building season, and whatever I built is going to show up in my cut. I can't get to the end of the cut and then be pissed off that something different didn't happen in my building season, because if it was meant to happen, it would have happened.

00;16;15;27 - 00;16;34;21
Lisa
But do you think that if I stay consistent with my training over the next two, three, five years, I don't know how long I'm going to continue to do this at this level? I don't know. But don't you think if I continue to be consistent and show up and put the effort in, that I will continue to have success?

00;16;34;24 - 00;17;00;09
Lisa
Yes, I will, and the same is true of my business. As I continue to learn and accept that this is where I'm at. These are the lessons that I need to learn. My business is going to continue to grow, but I'm going to have to continue to put in effort. Just because my business has reached a certain level of success doesn't mean that I just kick back, put my feet up, and I don't have to do anything anymore.

00;17;00;16 - 00;17;34;29
Lisa
Nothing could be further from the truth. So if you're just starting out, maybe you're five years in wherever you are on your journey. I really want you to hear in this episode that you are where you're supposed to be right now, because if you could be somewhere else, you'd be there. You'd be there. So what is possible for you if you stop stomping your feet and resisting where you are, and get honest with yourself about what it is you need to do, what effort is it that you need to put in?

00;17;35;01 - 00;17;56;29
Lisa
And that effort might be getting rid of half of the things on your to do list, so that you can do the things that actually move the needle forward in your business. Right. But what things do you need to release? What effort do you need to put in to create the results that you want? And are you willing to stay the course?

00;17;57;01 - 00;18;10;24
Lisa
Because one of the most challenging things for me and everybody else is to stay out of that place of impatience. But I want what I want in the way that I want it, and I want it now.

00;18;10;27 - 00;18;13;13
Lisa

00;18;13;16 - 00;18;36;08
Lisa
If you continue to put in consistent effort and the data is showing you right, this is why I got to look at the data. And the data is showing you that things are moving. Your job is to just focus on today. What effort do I need to put in today to create the outcome that I want for myself in the future?

00;18;36;11 - 00;19;09;05
Lisa
And that's it. Okay, so nowhere in the world, nowhere will you not find someone who did not put in the effort to create the success they wanted. You won't find it anywhere. And how quickly somebody get success could very well be determined by, you know, what background they had. I'm sure somebody who has a wicked sales background would probably grow their business faster, because they've got that foundational sales knowledge.

00;19;09;07 - 00;19;32;29
Lisa
That was not me. I had to learn about sales. I had to get comfortable with sales. I had to unpack all the stories that I had about sales. Oh my goodness, there are so many things that I have had to unpack and work through. Right effort had to put in the effort to unpacking my money stories, my sales stories, my growing, my business stories, my this is hard stories.

00;19;33;06 - 00;20;12;16
Lisa
All of it. So keep going. Be kind to yourself and really look at where in your life you are sitting in the land of awareness that has become nothing but this massive comfort zone where you perpetually beat yourself up because now you should know better. Instead of moving yourself into the effort zone where you have to do the things that you've been avoiding doing, where you have to navigate the discomfort that you don't want to feel so that you can get to the land of embodying a new way of being and creating the outcome that you want.

00;20;12;18 - 00;20;38;00
Lisa
And it's going to take some time. So buckle up, buttercup. You can have what you want, but it's going to take effort. It's going to take time, and it's going to take you sting out of your head and believing that you should be anywhere but where you are today, and the willingness to show up for tomorrow. All right, have a beautiful week ahead.

00;20;38;00 - 00;20;56;29
Lisa
Remember, everything starts with you, making you a priority, right? Go back to what I said in this episode about take care of those foundational pieces that support you feeling well, because that is going to make everything else feel so much easier. All right. Have a great week, everybody.