EPISODE 305: Tomorrow Isn’t Promised: Stop Waiting for Perfect Circumstances

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:27:14
Lisa
Welcome to the Full Frontal Living Podcast. I'm Lisa Carpenter, master life Coach, two driven, ambitious humans who want more out of life without having to sacrifice themselves to achieve it. I'll share how it's possible to slow down, take better care of yourself, find more peace and ease, pressure to sustainable energy, stop procrastination and overwhelm and fall in love with your life, your business, and your body.

00:00:27:16 - 00:00:45:23
Lisa
This podcast is for you. If you're ready to learn what it takes to thrive as a high performer, do less but achieve more. Make you and your well-being a top priority and create your extraordinaire free life. I'm so glad you're here.

00:00:45:23 - 00:01:16:25
Lisa
Hey, Hey. And thanks for tuning into another episode of the Full Frontal Living podcast. I'm so glad to have you here. It has been a full and busy weekend and there's a few things I want to get into. But, you know, the main theme of this episode is going to be fully embracing and living your life and understanding that if you're waiting for circumstances to be different, your life will never be different.

00:01:16:28 - 00:01:41:27
Lisa
So I am just back from a whirlwind trip up to Cologne and B.C., which is at the Interior of B.C. where I live. I live on the coast and I was in the interior and I was out there for an event that one of my dear friends and colleagues, Anita Parker, put on. And I watched this woman launch this event in February when we were at our retreat interlude together.

00:01:42:00 - 00:02:05:22
Lisa
Like literally like this is happening. Her business is called wisdom, wealth and well-being. And I'll make sure I tag it in the show notes. And so she launched this because she had this vision for bringing women together to really talk about women's health, because so many of us have been done so dirty by the traditional medical system. We've been dismissed.

00:02:05:24 - 00:02:38:21
Lisa
We're confused, especially as we age. You know, I'm now in menopause. Perimenopause was a trip. Menopause is a trip. And often especially and I want you to really hear this as high achieving, driven women in particular, that I'm speaking to these symptoms are like tiny little drops, like gloopy drops of water in a bucket, and we normalize them because they don't seem like a big deal until all of a sudden it's like, wait a minute, what is going on here?

00:02:38:24 - 00:02:57:15
Lisa
And I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've had symptoms and I've not really thought like, Oh, this is annoying. I don't really like this, only to realize, oh, wait, but I have this and this and this and this. So I'm talking about, you know, brain fog, memory loss. In my case, I had my hair was falling out.

00:02:57:15 - 00:03:23:28
Lisa
There was a whole bunch of different things happening. So anyways, I digress. Anita wanted to bring together a room full of women to really talk about women's health and well-being, to give women access to information that we often don't get from our doctors. This is not stuff our moms taught us, etc. Like even I mean, you know, I'm 52 now and I am only now just learning about the different.

00:03:24:01 - 00:03:47:02
Lisa
So I'm I'm in my car and top is down. I'm on my way back from the gym. So if you hear some ambient noise that that's why, you know, I'm 52 and I'm just learning about all the different phases of our menstrual cycle, unlike what is the follicular phase like, I'm almost embarrassed that I don't know this stuff, but it's not stuff we were ever educated on.

00:03:47:02 - 00:04:10:20
Lisa
We didn't we didn't talk about it. And if you're having problems, you just you go on the pill. So anyways, what you guys may or may not know, I speak for a living. I speak for my clients. I'm speaking to my clients with my clients. I'm speaking in group coaching containers. I'm speaking weekly on the podcast. I speak for a living.

00:04:10:22 - 00:04:33:15
Lisa
But the thought of being up on stage with a microphone in my hand, it literally takes me to my knees. The anxiety that I get over that is unbelievable. So I had had a conversation with Anita and her, along with pretty much most of my colleagues have said to me, like Lisa, you just need to get over yourself like you are meant to be up on stage speaking.

00:04:33:17 - 00:04:52:26
Lisa
So Anita knew I had a lot to bring to this conversation. So she said, How about we baby step this and I'll put you on the panel. I'll put you on a panel. I've got a panel for other speakers. We'll put you on the panel. And this will allow you to have that moment where you're where you're speaking on stage.

00:04:52:28 - 00:05:15:00
Lisa
And it was so fun. It was so I had such a great time. And I want to share with you what that experience was like for me and what I learned. So there were many, many speakers there, and almost every single one of them went up on stage with an idea of what they wanted to talk about, but they did not have a polished presentation ready.

00:05:15:02 - 00:05:40:11
Lisa
They went up there and they trusted themselves to riff on the topic that they are experts on, and all of them did amazing, and I was just so in all of them, and it made me realize that so much about this speaking piece for me is my willingness to trust myself. Now, what you I think I've talked about this on an earlier episode over the past couple of years.

00:05:40:14 - 00:06:06:05
Lisa
We'll see five years starting in 2020. The trust that I have had in my ability to articulate my thoughts has been eroded because I went through a serious period of, you know, from hormone influxes and stress, like all of these, there's not one thing that caused it. It was a layered, layered things going on in the world and within my own body that created this.

00:06:06:07 - 00:06:26:12
Lisa
But it was almost like I couldn't find the words. And if I'm being honest, this is still something that I'm working on, is cultivating that deep trust in myself, that even if I can't find the word, even if I can't access the memory, that what I need to say, what I want to say is going to come through in a way that you are going to hear it, you are going to understand it.

00:06:26:12 - 00:06:49:03
Lisa
You're going to pick up what you need to pick up because it is is literally put me in this state of almost freeze of not wanting to come on here and talk because I'm it's this terror of like what if I can't string a sentence together? What if I lose my train of thought mid-sentence and I'm used to being I am I'm very sharp, especially when I coach.

00:06:49:05 - 00:07:16:04
Lisa
I'm used to having like that is a skill set of mine. And when that skill set, it felt like it was no longer available to me at the same level it used to be at. I've really had to redefine it. So the way I was explaining this to my coach was it's like, you know, Michael Jordan is still an amazing player, but he also remembers what it used to be like when he was a player in his twenties, when he was at the prime of his career.

00:07:16:04 - 00:07:46:01
Lisa
He remembers what that what that feels like. And I'm guessing because I don't personally know Michael Jordan that he's had to release attachment to measuring where he is today as a player versus where he was when he was in his twenties and thirties. And this is what I've also been sitting with is I can still be a great coach, which I am, but I cannot be attached to a version of me that had access to different like my brain fired in different ways back then.

00:07:46:04 - 00:08:09:27
Lisa
Doesn't mean I can't still be great at what I what I do, but it's like been making peace with these parts of me. It's like I've been grieving, like how do I get my mental, like sharpness back? And it is coming back online, but it's taken me a long time to come back to this place of deep trust that the words are just going to come out of my mouth.

00:08:10:00 - 00:08:30:14
Lisa
So this has been holding me back from pursuing getting up on stage. I've also had to look at how like perfectionism is coming up, Like I need to know what I'm going to say and how I'm going to say it. And I have to have this rehearsed speech, which I'm learning that I don't. I need to have an outline of what I want to talk about, and then I just need to go and do the thing.

00:08:30:17 - 00:08:53:07
Lisa
So anyways, we did this panel. It was awesome. Anita asked me some questions. I was able to riff off what some of the other ladies had said before. I was able to express myself in the way that only I can deliver certain messages. I was really proud of how I did, and it worked out in the best way possible because we were supposed to have a break before the speakers panel.

00:08:53:15 - 00:09:09:18
Lisa
That didn't happen. So the next thing I know, Anita was like, okay, we're doing speakers panel now, and I didn't really have time to get nervous because it was like, Listen, Lisa, like, you're going you're up there on stage. And what made this so fun for me and I love to set anchors in my life. I like to anchor the energy.

00:09:09:18 - 00:09:23:22
Lisa
And one of the stories I've been telling myself is that I'm more comfortable going up on stage half naked if you're new here, I'm a fitness competitor. So, you know, we're up on stage in these tiny bikinis and high heels and, you know, doing our thing.

00:09:23:25 - 00:09:43:17
Lisa
So I've been telling myself the story that I'm more comfortable being on stage half naked than I am fully clothed with a microphone in my hands. So I intentionally chosen outfit that I could wear my beautiful sparkly Betty Johnson shoes with that were the shoes that I wore the last time I was up on stage. So it was a real beautiful moment for me.

00:09:43:17 - 00:10:13:28
Lisa
It was a very intimate moment for me to say, like, Lisa, you can do this, you can do this. Your voice matters and trust that the words that come out of your mouth are going to make an impact. And I was really, really pleased with my performance. There's always room to, you know, if you've listened to my episode around being critical versus like being self-reflective, there's always things to reflect on, but in no way, shape or form, like am I beating myself up about anything.

00:10:13:28 - 00:10:46:09
Lisa
I'm actually I'm really, really proud of how well I did, how I worked with the audience, how I use less words to say what I wanted in an impactful way. So it was really powerful. And, you know, during that time in talking to some of the other speakers and meeting some of the other women in the room, what I came to realize is because I was I was speaking to a woman who's a new friend of mine now and she was telling me about a big event that she was at and behind the stage.

00:10:46:12 - 00:11:14:19
Lisa
These were speakers who had fought these like I mean, these are people that, you know, these are very high profile people. And they were incredibly nervous backstage. They were all sitting in a circle, praying together and trusting that the words were going to come through them to settle their anxiety. And it made me realize, like, I think I've been sitting in this story of one day I'll be ready to speak one day I will be ready to command that stage by myself as a keynote.

00:11:14:21 - 00:11:47:19
Lisa
And what I've come to realize is that day is never coming unless I choose to be ready. And choosing to be ready means that I'm embracing the fear, the anxiety that I might feel, the self-doubt that might creep in. But recognizing never am I probably going to walk on stage being like calm as a cucumber and feeling 100% confident because I have yet to find a speaker who doesn't get nerves, who even the most seasoned speakers still get nerves.

00:11:47:22 - 00:12:24:01
Lisa
So this is what I'm talking about. Around just to come back to the start of this episode is if we're waiting for circumstances to be perfect in our life before we make a change, we'll never make a change. And I left that event realizing that what I need to do is rinse and repeat over and over and over again, whether it's speaking on the podcast more, whether it's creating my own events, whether it's reaching out and asking for people to put me on panels or put me on stage, I just need to keep doing this until the intensity of the emotion that I'm feeling dissipates.

00:12:24:03 - 00:12:43:13
Lisa
So I'm not even looking to get rid of it, but turning down the volume on it because when you do something. So if I use my fear of heights, right, I've jumped off a lot of high things now. But it's, you know, there's long periods in between these times of me jumping off things every single time. It feels just as hard as the first time.

00:12:43:15 - 00:13:07:25
Lisa
And I think this is part of it is when we leave so much gap, when we leave so much space between when we do things, especially things we're afraid of, that fear just builds back up again. So how can I rinse and repeat this more quickly so that I can at least lessen the charge around it? And I do have coaches that I'm working with around this as well to really help to move that emotion out of my body.

00:13:07:25 - 00:13:30:06
Lisa
So it's not living in my body. So what I what I just really want you to take away from this is that yeah, if you if you wait for circumstances to be perfect, they won't be perfect. And here's the other thing, and I'm going to I'm going to end the episode on this because I'm going to get I'm going to get emotional about this.

00:13:30:08 - 00:13:59:05
Lisa
Last night at 9:30 p.m., I was on my phone because I was watching a previous client of mine who was an absolutely ray of sunshine. She was such a gift to this world and I was watching her funeral service because she passed away. She took a nap and she didn't wake up. And I believe she's only 47 years old.

00:13:59:07 - 00:14:28:17
Lisa
She left behind a teenage son, her husband that she loved like a family that adored her. There were hundreds of people in attendance there were over 100 people online watching this service because she impacted so many lives. And what I want to leave you with is one, your health must matter. This was a woman who put she loves so hard and she really showed up for everybody in her life.

00:14:28:19 - 00:14:53:25
Lisa
And I think she often did it at the expense of her own well-being. So, number one, your wellbeing must matter. That's what we you know, that's what Anita's event was about. Your wellbeing must matter and nobody can take responsibility for that but you. And it's important because if you don't, you're helping everybody else. But ultimately you're going to hurt them if you leave this planet.

00:14:53:27 - 00:15:25:19
Lisa
Before I mean, you know what happened the way it happened, but, you know, I don't want anybody to leave the planet prematurely, so be responsible for your well-being. That's number one. Number two, while you're waiting for circumstances to be perfect, tomorrow doesn't come with a guarantee. The life that you want to be living, where you feel just as good on the inside as what?

00:15:25:19 - 00:15:53:12
Lisa
Everything looks all sparkly on the outside. Because I know many of you have created amazing like, success for yourself, but you're not feeling that way on the inside. You're not feeling the way you want to feel on the inside. Your life doesn't feel congruent. Tomorrow isn't promised to you, so stop allowing circumstances to get in the way of you creating what you want for yourself.

00:15:53:14 - 00:16:25:11
Lisa
Do the thing. Hire the coach, take the trip, stand on the stage, change your health and fitness, take responsibility for your mind, whatever it is for you, whatever it is that you've been putting off, stop putting it off because tomorrow isn't promised. I love you. Thank you for tuning in. I do not know if you know how much I appreciate all of you who take the time week after week to show up and listen.

00:16:25:13 - 00:16:49:21
Lisa
And I know I have been not pulling my weight in this relationship, meaning I have not been consistent with episodes going out weekly and I'm committed to being back into the zone of an episode weekly in my car, even if I'm recording it last minute coming out of the gym, which this is probably one of the best episodes I've done in a long time.

00:16:49:21 - 00:17:08:21
Lisa
And literally I walked out of the gym and I'm like, This is what I have to say and I'm going to go see it. And I'm I'm so grateful for that because if you only knew how hard it's been for me to put my thoughts together, to be able to articulate myself in the way I just did, man, it feels like a real moment.

00:17:08:21 - 00:17:33:23
Lisa
It feels like a real victory. So here's the last, last thing I'm going to leave you with wherever you are right now in your life, whatever circumstances you are dealing with, it's temporary. I promise you, you will find your way to the other side. If you show up for yourself, if you be responsible for your healing and moving your life forward, do not be a victim in your life.

00:17:33:25 - 00:18:00:18
Lisa
Step into what you can do to support yourself in feeling better. Because my life two years ago, man, it was lying in shattered pieces on the ground. And now I look around and think, Wow, how did I create this? How did I take that absolute mess and turn it into such a thing of beauty? It's because I never gave up on myself.

00:18:00:20 - 00:18:18:08
Lisa
And I don't want you to give up on yourself either. So tomorrow's never promised. Don't let your circumstances stop you. And whatever you're dealing with, it's temporary. I love you. Thanks for tuning into the episode and I will catch you next week.

00:18:18:08 - 00:18:39:25
Lisa
Hey. Hey. Before you go, I'd like to ask you something. How much longer are you willing to put yourself last to keep pushing through, hoping things will magically change while feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from the life you truly want. Tell me if this sounds like you. From the outside. Most people think you have it all figured out.

00:18:40:00 - 00:19:00:23
Lisa
But the truth is that on most days you feel like you're barely holding it together. Your life is full of responsibilities and there's a high demand on your time and energy. You know you can't drop the ball yet. You're terrified it's going to happen. And worst of all, you're already taking the hit because you often end up at the bottom of your to do list.

00:19:00:25 - 00:19:34:00
Lisa
You've achieved so much, yet deep down, what you want most is more ease, more fulfillment, more joy, more you. And that is exactly what reclamation is all about. This isn't just another program. It's your opportunity to finally break free from the patterns that are keeping you stuck and step into a life that feels aligned, intentional and fulfilling. It's a safe space to have conversations that matter with women who get you and share your complicated relationship with vulnerability.

00:19:34:02 - 00:20:00:19
Lisa
Imagine having the support, the tools and the accountability to create real, lasting change where you're no longer just surviving, but thriving. So if you're done with feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and constantly running on empty, it's time to take that first step. Head to Lisa Carpenter, dot K forward slash reclamation and say yes to yourself, yes to the life you know you're meant for.

00:20:00:19 - 00:20:08:09
Lisa
Because if nothing changes, nothing changes. As I'll see you on the inside.