Welcome to another powerful episode of the Full Frontal Living Podcast with Lisa Carpenter! In episode 307, Lisa invites listeners to explore the depth of their inner world with the timeless fable of the two wolves, drawing on her own journey and her extensive coaching experience.
Lisa shares both the classic and extended versions of the “Two Wolves” fable, unpacking how this story relates to our daily choices, emotions, and personal growth. Instead of seeing the “Dark Wolf” (our challenges, doubts, and tough emotions) as something to ignore, Lisa encourages us to acknowledge and understand both our dark and light sides. Ultimately, this episode is a powerful reminder that we all possess the incredible power to choose which parts of ourselves we nurture—but also how much richer life can be when we accept and learn from all of our internal experiences.
Key Highlights:
- You Always Have a Choice: Lisa reminds us that the life we’re living is the result of countless choices, both conscious and unconscious. Where we put our attention and energy—whether it’s on positivity and growth or on negative thought loops—shapes our experience and outcomes.
- Beyond “Good” and “Bad” Sides: The extended version of the Two Wolves fable reveals that both our dark and light sides have gifts to offer. Instead of starving one side, we’re invited to feed both, gaining courage, tenacity, compassion, and self-compassion in the process.
- Embracing All of Yourself: Lisa models how to integrate, value, and lovingly acknowledge every part of who we are—including the parts we often try to hide or suppress. This acceptance is where true peace, ease, and fulfillment are found.
- The Power to Change Your Story: Suffering and struggle may seem like our default settings, but by choosing to focus on what we want to create (rather than what we wish to avoid), we empower ourselves to change—and truly thrive.
- Real Transformation: Lisa’s episode is not just theory; she shares personal examples and client experiences that show just how much is possible when we honor all of ourselves, create new habits, and choose courage over comfort.
This episode is more than just a story; it’s about the freedom that comes when you realize your power to choose and start integrating all parts of yourself. Lisa encourages you to reflect: How can you nurture both your dark and light wolves—and what could become possible if you do?
Grab your earbuds, get cozy (or go out on a walk!), and let Lisa guide you to greater self-understanding and empowerment.
Resources:
To learn about Lisa’s transformative “Reclamation” program, visitLisaCarpenter.ca/Reclamation
Lisa loves hearing feedback from her listeners! Share your thoughts, ah-ha moments, or questions.
If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend, and don’t forget to rate and review Full Frontal Living wherever you listen to podcasts!
TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:27:14
Lisa
Welcome to the Full Frontal Living Podcast. I'm Lisa Carpenter, master life Coach, two driven, ambitious humans who want more out of life without having to sacrifice themselves to achieve it. I'll share how it's possible to slow down, take better care of yourself, find more peace and ease, pressure to sustainable energy, stop procrastination and overwhelm and fall in love with your life, your business, and your body.
00:00:27:16 - 00:00:45:23
Lisa
This podcast is for you. If you're ready to learn what it takes to thrive as a high performer, do less but achieve more. Make you and your well-being a top priority and create your extraordinaire free life. I'm so glad you're here.
00:00:45:23 - 00:01:19:03
Lisa
Hey. Hey. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Full Frontal Living Podcast, and I am recording this quick intro sitting on a deck at one of my favorite places, which is Whistler, B.C. If you ever have a chance to visit here, it's just such a phenomenal place. I held a retreat for my clients last year here, and it's a regular spot that I come to get away, to be with my thoughts, to expand my thinking, to challenge my perspectives, and to give myself space and time to be with my thoughts.
00:01:19:05 - 00:01:41:16
Lisa
And so much has changed for me over the past couple of years. And if you've been following along on the podcast, you know you're aware of this and there's so much I have not shared, but needless to say, I have been on my own deep, deep transformation journey where I've had to look at parts of myself that I did not want to acknowledge.
00:01:41:18 - 00:02:02:03
Lisa
And it got me thinking about a very powerful podcast that I recorded God probably a couple of years ago now, and it's the fable of the two wolves. Now, you may have heard of this fable and you know, the condense version is whatever Wolf you feed is the one that's going to grow. Whatever you put your attention on is what is going to grow.
00:02:02:06 - 00:02:32:00
Lisa
But in this encore episode, the invitation is to look at both your dark wolf and your light wolf. So the parts of you that you maybe don't want to acknowledge and be with, but the gifts that they hold along with the light, Wolf, and how we need both and how, as you know, driven, high achieving type people, we often want to skip over the part of us that has emotions.
00:02:32:02 - 00:02:58:00
Lisa
We often want to skip over validating that we felt certain things because why bother? We should just move on, get on with our lives, like focus on what you can't control. And this this episode is truly an invitation into what would happen and what would be possible for you if you allow yourself to see the value in all the different parts of you, including your emotional side.
00:02:58:02 - 00:03:20:19
Lisa
So sit back. Pour yourself a cup of tea, plug in your earbuds and get out for a walk, get some steps in and enjoy this episode. I truly believe it's one of the most powerful episodes I've recorded. I got amazing feedback from my clients on it and I hope that you enjoy it as well. And I will be back with a new episode in the coming week.
00:03:20:21 - 00:03:24:06
Lisa
So take good care of you and I will catch you on the next episode.
00:03:25:07 - 00:03:50:13
Lisa
Well, hey. Hey. Thanks for joining me for another episode of the Full Frontal Living Podcast. As I said in the intro, this is going to be a deep episode. I am going into the story of the two wolves, which you may or may not have heard before, but I wanted to share it with you again, and I wanted to share it with you in the same capacity that I've shared it with my clients, an extended version of it.
00:03:50:17 - 00:04:14:26
Lisa
Now, before I get started, though, as I was doing research for this episode, I found out that this this story, most people tell it from the perspective of, you know, it was a Cherokee Indian grandfather who was telling it to his grandson. And in doing a little bit of research, I dug around and found out that that is not actually where the story originated from, which I was not aware of.
00:04:14:28 - 00:04:40:25
Lisa
It was originated from Billy Graham, who basically created the story to drive home the concept that we're all born with evil inside of us. And anyways, there's a whole history around the appropriation of this and yada yada, yada. So I've changed the story a little bit. I've just changed it to, you know, a grandson or sorry, a grandson listening to his grandfather.
00:04:40:25 - 00:05:11:16
Lisa
So if you're like, Hey, I thought this was a story about a Cherokee Indian. Go do some digging on the interwebs. You might be surprised at what you find about the history of this story. But I am going to leave that for you to go do your own research, because today I really just want to talk about this story, the story of the two wolves, because I think it's so important for you to understand how much deeper this story can go and what you're missing.
00:05:11:16 - 00:05:37:13
Lisa
So if you haven't heard the story before, I'm just going to dive in and enjoy. So as it goes. A grandfather was teaching his grandson about life. He said a fight is going on inside me. He told the young boy a fight between two wolves. The dark one is evil. His anger, envy, sorrow, regret. Greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment.
00:05:37:13 - 00:06:09:16
Lisa
Inferiority, lies. False pride, superiority and ego, he continued. The light, Wolf, is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you, grandson, and inside of every other person on the face of this earth. The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asks Grandfather, which Wolf will win.
00:06:09:19 - 00:06:37:16
Lisa
The the grandfather smiled and simply said, The one you feed. So the life that you're living today is made up of a series of choices. And the story continues. But I wanted to interject here. You know, choices, these choices that you've made, choices that others have made that have impacted you, your beliefs, your values, thoughts and emotions, these have all been shaped by the choices that you've made in your life.
00:06:37:22 - 00:06:59:14
Lisa
And you, in turn, are shaping the world around you. And I think most of us would agree it's very easy to feel your dark wolf. Most of us have negative thought loops about a variety of things in our life from how you feel about your body, money, relationships, business, spirituality. I mean, I even had my dark wolf, like, spoke up about math, right?
00:06:59:14 - 00:07:27:25
Lisa
Like, I'm not good at math because I'm not good at numbers. So these thoughts, these thoughts that we have, these kind of dark wolf thoughts, they impact the actions that you take in life. They impact the choices that you make. They make it easier for you to procrastinate, avoid, complain, blame, feel frustrated, overwhelmed, anxious thoughts, or they allow you to simply just give up.
00:07:27:27 - 00:07:54:07
Lisa
As the saying goes, if you think you can, you will. And if you think you can't, you won't. Both They're right. So what I've noticed in the years that I've been coaching and in my own experience is that suffering and struggle seem to be the default setting for many of us. And as much as you might say, you don't want to feel badly, have you noticed how much time you spend thinking about your problems?
00:07:54:09 - 00:08:18:21
Lisa
Have you noticed how much time and attention you continue to place on what you don't want, how you don't want to feel, or maybe even on what you don't want to do? I want you to really consider that like just pause here for a minute and think about how much time and energy do you give and focus Do you give to the things in your life that you view as problems?
00:08:18:23 - 00:08:53:22
Lisa
Okay. Now, your light, Wolf, is a whole different beast. And for most of us, it feels so much harder to feed because as I said, most of your life you've been practicing over and over and over and over. The habit of feeding your dark wolf or these negative thought loops. So feeding your light wolf, gosh, it takes so much time and commitment to learning, practicing new habits, creating new behaviors and new ways of being in the world.
00:08:53:25 - 00:09:14:15
Lisa
It takes a ton of courage and vulnerability to hold your attention on how you do want to feel and to move your focus away from the problems that you have or that you think you have. Because so often we spend so much time focusing on our problems, thinking like, Well, that's how you fix a problem. You focus on the problem.
00:09:14:17 - 00:09:47:07
Lisa
Whereas when we're holding our attention constantly on a problem, it just makes the problem bigger. So it takes a lot of effort, self-love, energy, time and patience, because results rarely happen overnight when we're nurturing these new ways of thinking and feeling about ourselves and the things going on around us. It takes so much tenacity and determination to stick with this inner work of feeding your light or your light wolf.
00:09:47:10 - 00:10:08:28
Lisa
And I know this because it has been true for me. I've witnessed this in myself and in the thousands of people that I worked with in my more than two decades as a coach. The more you stay committed to feeding your light, Wolf, the more you'll feel a sense of pride, accomplishment, fulfillment, ease, joy, peace and success. And your life will start to change.
00:10:09:00 - 00:10:37:04
Lisa
Your life will start to transform in ways you thought were impossible. So as I said, you know, that is the story that most people know about. Well, which, you know, which Wolf grows. The one you feed, which Wolf wins, the one that you feed. But I found an extended version of this story that goes so much deeper, and I wanted to share it with you again.
00:10:37:06 - 00:11:03:16
Lisa
So I'm going to dive back into the story here. The extended version has the grandfather saying, but if you feed them right, they both win. He continued, You see, if I only choose to feed the light, Wolf, the dark wolf will be hiding around every corner, waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump on and jump to get the attention he craves.
00:11:03:19 - 00:11:29:15
Lisa
He will always be angry and will always fight the light, Wolf. But if I acknowledge him, he is happy and the light wolf is happy. And we all win for the dark. Wolf has many qualities tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strong willed and great strategic thinking that I have a need of at times. These are the very things that the light, wolf, lacks.
00:11:29:18 - 00:11:52:23
Lisa
But the light, Wolf, has compassion, caring, strength and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all. You see, son, the light wolf, needs the dark wolf at his side to feed only one would starve the other, and they will become uncontrollable. To feed and care for both means they will serve you well and do nothing.
00:11:52:25 - 00:12:15:19
Lisa
That is not part of something greater, something good, something of life. Feed them both and there will be no more internal struggle for your attention. And when there is no battle inside you, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowing that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance. Peace, My son is our mission in life.
00:12:15:22 - 00:12:41:24
Lisa
A man or woman who has peace inside has everything a man or woman who is pulled apart by the war inside him or her has nothing. How you choose to interact with the opposing forces within you will determine your life. Starve one or the other or guide them both. Powerful story. Powerful story. Because what this is talking about is polarity and polarity.
00:12:41:24 - 00:13:11:26
Lisa
D is a universal law. What goes up must come down. An inhale always follows an exhale. Contraction always follows expansion in day follows night. We have negative charges that need positive charges. Your light wolf and your dark wolf represent your different emotions and your different thoughts. And all your emotions serve a purpose. From the depths of Shane and sorrow to the highs of joy and ecstasy.
00:13:11:29 - 00:13:33:23
Lisa
Emotions. And you've heard me say this before. They're not good or bad, right or wrong. They're simply guideposts to help you find your way. The days I struggle with my dark wolf, I honor the gifts this part of me holds. Forget for many years my negative self-talk, stories and beliefs kept me safe, even if it was slightly misguided.
00:13:33:25 - 00:14:02:25
Lisa
Okay. There are no parts of us and please hear this there are no parts of us that wish us on well. All these parts, whether it's a light wolf or dark wolf, they are simply doing their job to keep us feeling saved, loved, and with a sense of belonging. And we often develop these thought patterns or behaviors because these parts of us innocently think that that is the way to protect us.
00:14:02:28 - 00:14:26:05
Lisa
That is the way for us to avoid feeling things that we don't want to feel. I love that my dark wolf, that side of me that was out to prove myself helped me really discover my drive and ambition. I love that my dark wolf envied others because that showed me what I wanted in my life and what was possible for me as well.
00:14:26:07 - 00:14:50:04
Lisa
I love that my emotions like anger, frustration and resentment, showed me what I valued in my life and gave me the opportunity to get curious about what I was avoiding. I love that my dark wolf taught me about what is possible when I persevere, and then I'm capable of so much. I also love that my light will show me that I didn't need to prove myself to anyone.
00:14:50:07 - 00:15:15:16
Lisa
And then I can accomplish just as much with patience, kindness, self-compassion, and ease. My dark wolf was really so hard on me and innocently thought that pushing me was how to create the success and happiness I wanted. I'm so grateful for this part of me that can guide me to do things that I don't always want to do or I don't feel like doing.
00:15:15:20 - 00:15:54:06
Lisa
And I love that my light wolf shows me that I don't have to beat myself up to find my drive. And then I don't always have to push my dark wolf to save me from feelings. I wasn't ready to feel like shame, grief and unworthiness. And when the universe decided I was ready for the lessons, I needed to free me from my own victimhood, it allowed my light wolf to show up and teach me about emotional fluency and what life could be like on the other side of feeling more than good enough, My Dark Wolf still wants to tell me sometimes that I can't.
00:15:54:09 - 00:16:23:04
Lisa
But I know it's only because this part of me is scared and doesn't want me to feel hurt or disappointed. I pay attention to those voices and I love my dark wolf. I love my dark wolf. Like, hear this. I acknowledge him and I let him know that everything is going to be okay when he shows up. He's just, again, trying to protect me from not getting hurt or feeling disappointed.
00:16:23:07 - 00:16:51:04
Lisa
It's my job to acknowledge him. And this is what happens in the work I do with my clients. We unpack all these parts that are innocently trying to protect you from you, and we don't like, take them all behind the barn and shoot them and leave them for dead. We don't skip over them with gratitude. We learn to embrace and accept them and work with them by shifting the role they play and the position they hold.
00:16:51:07 - 00:17:21:00
Lisa
We learn how to nurture the light, Wolf, to give it more strength and power so it can stand. Eye to eye with your dark wolf. Not in a fight for power, but with love, grace, compassion. So all sides are ignore it acknowledged. Eventually, we learn how to feed them both and harness the strength, guidance and power. Each of them hold a rebalance of power, so to speak, without having to starve one away or feel like you need to destroy parts of yourself.
00:17:21:02 - 00:17:47:14
Lisa
And this is what I see so often, is people and my clients, maybe even you listening. We so want to avoid feeling crappy that we try and just pretend like that dark wolf side of us isn't there. Instead of acknowledging the gifts it brings us, and when you start to do this inner work, it's not about never having a negative thought or never feeling bad.
00:17:47:16 - 00:18:20:00
Lisa
It's about how can you nurture that side of yourself when it does show up? How can you do this work to strengthen the light, Wolf part of you as well, so that when the dark wolf shows up, they don't again, they don't have to go toe to toe, but one can support the other. This is such a great way of looking at your emotions and how it is important for you to feel all of them to find your way.
00:18:20:02 - 00:18:44:06
Lisa
Nobody likes to feel bad. Like I said, nobody likes to feel bad. So it's the practice of learning how to hold your attention on how you do want to feel really nurturing the voices that need nurturing that little tiny part of you that, no, she's good enough, but she's like hiding under the desk because the big, dark wolf keeps, like, lurking around everywhere.
00:18:44:08 - 00:19:11:06
Lisa
It's giving her more strength and power while at the same time acknowledging, like, why is the dark wolf there? Why does that part of you believe this? Because, again, it doesn't want you. It's not trying to hurt you. It's not trying to hold you back. It truly believes that it's helping you. It's just so misguided in its way, because so many of us didn't grow up with emotional fluency.
00:19:11:12 - 00:19:38:05
Lisa
We learned how to cope with things. And I'm going to come back to what I said is we all have these pillars inside us that are fundamental needs that need to be met. Those needs are for love, safety and belonging. And we will create strategies to make sure that those are in place. And this is where these kind of thoughts and beliefs stem from.
00:19:38:08 - 00:20:11:26
Lisa
So the more that you can learn how to pay attention to all the different parts of you, the dark wolf, the light wolf, and there's a whole range in between of other of other voices that you can nurture and feed and acknowledge and accept. When we learn how to accept all parts of us without making them wrong or bad, that's when you truly find the freedom, joy, peace, ease, fulfillment that so many of you are looking for.
00:20:11:29 - 00:20:44:23
Lisa
So I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I would love to hear your feedback on this one. I was really excited to put it together for you. I know it was a very powerful role reading when I brought it to my clients and I hope it is just as impactful for you and I hope that in listening to this you can learn to see and value and give that dark wolf a little bit more love while also loving hard on your light wolf.
00:20:44:28 - 00:20:55:22
Lisa
So until next episode. Thank you again for being here. Thank you for tuning in and listening. I appreciate you so, so much and I'll talk to you on the next episode.
00:20:55:22 - 00:21:17:03
Lisa
Hey. Hey. Before you go, I'd like to ask you something. How much longer are you willing to put yourself last to keep pushing through, hoping things will magically change while feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from the life you truly want. Tell me if this sounds like you. From the outside. Most people think you have it all figured out.
00:21:17:08 - 00:21:38:01
Lisa
But the truth is that on most days you feel like you're barely holding it together. Your life is full of responsibilities and there's a high demand on your time and energy. You know you can't drop the ball yet. You're terrified it's going to happen. And worst of all, you're already taking the hit because you often end up at the bottom of your to do list.
00:21:38:03 - 00:22:11:08
Lisa
You've achieved so much, yet deep down, what you want most is more ease, more fulfillment, more joy, more you. And that is exactly what reclamation is all about. This isn't just another program. It's your opportunity to finally break free from the patterns that are keeping you stuck and step into a life that feels aligned, intentional and fulfilling. It's a safe space to have conversations that matter with women who get you and share your complicated relationship with vulnerability.
00:22:11:10 - 00:22:37:27
Lisa
Imagine having the support, the tools and the accountability to create real, lasting change where you're no longer just surviving, but thriving. So if you're done with feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and constantly running on empty, it's time to take that first step. Head to Lisa Carpenter, dot K forward slash reclamation and say yes to yourself, yes to the life you know you're meant for.
00:22:37:27 - 00:22:45:17
Lisa
Because if nothing changes, nothing changes. As I'll see you on the inside.
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:27:14
Lisa
Welcome to the Full Frontal Living Podcast. I'm Lisa Carpenter, master life Coach, two driven, ambitious humans who want more out of life without having to sacrifice themselves to achieve it. I'll share how it's possible to slow down, take better care of yourself, find more peace and ease, pressure to sustainable energy, stop procrastination and overwhelm and fall in love with your life, your business, and your body.
00:00:27:16 - 00:00:45:23
Lisa
This podcast is for you. If you're ready to learn what it takes to thrive as a high performer, do less but achieve more. Make you and your well-being a top priority and create your extraordinaire free life. I'm so glad you're here.
00:00:45:23 - 00:01:19:03
Lisa
Hey. Hey. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Full Frontal Living Podcast, and I am recording this quick intro sitting on a deck at one of my favorite places, which is Whistler, B.C. If you ever have a chance to visit here, it's just such a phenomenal place. I held a retreat for my clients last year here, and it's a regular spot that I come to get away, to be with my thoughts, to expand my thinking, to challenge my perspectives, and to give myself space and time to be with my thoughts.
00:01:19:05 - 00:01:41:16
Lisa
And so much has changed for me over the past couple of years. And if you've been following along on the podcast, you know you're aware of this and there's so much I have not shared, but needless to say, I have been on my own deep, deep transformation journey where I've had to look at parts of myself that I did not want to acknowledge.
00:01:41:18 - 00:02:02:03
Lisa
And it got me thinking about a very powerful podcast that I recorded God probably a couple of years ago now, and it's the fable of the two wolves. Now, you may have heard of this fable and you know, the condense version is whatever Wolf you feed is the one that's going to grow. Whatever you put your attention on is what is going to grow.
00:02:02:06 - 00:02:32:00
Lisa
But in this encore episode, the invitation is to look at both your dark wolf and your light wolf. So the parts of you that you maybe don't want to acknowledge and be with, but the gifts that they hold along with the light, Wolf, and how we need both and how, as you know, driven, high achieving type people, we often want to skip over the part of us that has emotions.
00:02:32:02 - 00:02:58:00
Lisa
We often want to skip over validating that we felt certain things because why bother? We should just move on, get on with our lives, like focus on what you can't control. And this this episode is truly an invitation into what would happen and what would be possible for you if you allow yourself to see the value in all the different parts of you, including your emotional side.
00:02:58:02 - 00:03:20:19
Lisa
So sit back. Pour yourself a cup of tea, plug in your earbuds and get out for a walk, get some steps in and enjoy this episode. I truly believe it's one of the most powerful episodes I've recorded. I got amazing feedback from my clients on it and I hope that you enjoy it as well. And I will be back with a new episode in the coming week.
00:03:20:21 - 00:03:24:06
Lisa
So take good care of you and I will catch you on the next episode.
00:03:25:07 - 00:03:50:13
Lisa
Well, hey. Hey. Thanks for joining me for another episode of the Full Frontal Living Podcast. As I said in the intro, this is going to be a deep episode. I am going into the story of the two wolves, which you may or may not have heard before, but I wanted to share it with you again, and I wanted to share it with you in the same capacity that I've shared it with my clients, an extended version of it.
00:03:50:17 - 00:04:14:26
Lisa
Now, before I get started, though, as I was doing research for this episode, I found out that this this story, most people tell it from the perspective of, you know, it was a Cherokee Indian grandfather who was telling it to his grandson. And in doing a little bit of research, I dug around and found out that that is not actually where the story originated from, which I was not aware of.
00:04:14:28 - 00:04:40:25
Lisa
It was originated from Billy Graham, who basically created the story to drive home the concept that we're all born with evil inside of us. And anyways, there's a whole history around the appropriation of this and yada yada, yada. So I've changed the story a little bit. I've just changed it to, you know, a grandson or sorry, a grandson listening to his grandfather.
00:04:40:25 - 00:05:11:16
Lisa
So if you're like, Hey, I thought this was a story about a Cherokee Indian. Go do some digging on the interwebs. You might be surprised at what you find about the history of this story. But I am going to leave that for you to go do your own research, because today I really just want to talk about this story, the story of the two wolves, because I think it's so important for you to understand how much deeper this story can go and what you're missing.
00:05:11:16 - 00:05:37:13
Lisa
So if you haven't heard the story before, I'm just going to dive in and enjoy. So as it goes. A grandfather was teaching his grandson about life. He said a fight is going on inside me. He told the young boy a fight between two wolves. The dark one is evil. His anger, envy, sorrow, regret. Greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment.
00:05:37:13 - 00:06:09:16
Lisa
Inferiority, lies. False pride, superiority and ego, he continued. The light, Wolf, is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you, grandson, and inside of every other person on the face of this earth. The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asks Grandfather, which Wolf will win.
00:06:09:19 - 00:06:37:16
Lisa
The the grandfather smiled and simply said, The one you feed. So the life that you're living today is made up of a series of choices. And the story continues. But I wanted to interject here. You know, choices, these choices that you've made, choices that others have made that have impacted you, your beliefs, your values, thoughts and emotions, these have all been shaped by the choices that you've made in your life.
00:06:37:22 - 00:06:59:14
Lisa
And you, in turn, are shaping the world around you. And I think most of us would agree it's very easy to feel your dark wolf. Most of us have negative thought loops about a variety of things in our life from how you feel about your body, money, relationships, business, spirituality. I mean, I even had my dark wolf, like, spoke up about math, right?
00:06:59:14 - 00:07:27:25
Lisa
Like, I'm not good at math because I'm not good at numbers. So these thoughts, these thoughts that we have, these kind of dark wolf thoughts, they impact the actions that you take in life. They impact the choices that you make. They make it easier for you to procrastinate, avoid, complain, blame, feel frustrated, overwhelmed, anxious thoughts, or they allow you to simply just give up.
00:07:27:27 - 00:07:54:07
Lisa
As the saying goes, if you think you can, you will. And if you think you can't, you won't. Both They're right. So what I've noticed in the years that I've been coaching and in my own experience is that suffering and struggle seem to be the default setting for many of us. And as much as you might say, you don't want to feel badly, have you noticed how much time you spend thinking about your problems?
00:07:54:09 - 00:08:18:21
Lisa
Have you noticed how much time and attention you continue to place on what you don't want, how you don't want to feel, or maybe even on what you don't want to do? I want you to really consider that like just pause here for a minute and think about how much time and energy do you give and focus Do you give to the things in your life that you view as problems?
00:08:18:23 - 00:08:53:22
Lisa
Okay. Now, your light, Wolf, is a whole different beast. And for most of us, it feels so much harder to feed because as I said, most of your life you've been practicing over and over and over and over. The habit of feeding your dark wolf or these negative thought loops. So feeding your light wolf, gosh, it takes so much time and commitment to learning, practicing new habits, creating new behaviors and new ways of being in the world.
00:08:53:25 - 00:09:14:15
Lisa
It takes a ton of courage and vulnerability to hold your attention on how you do want to feel and to move your focus away from the problems that you have or that you think you have. Because so often we spend so much time focusing on our problems, thinking like, Well, that's how you fix a problem. You focus on the problem.
00:09:14:17 - 00:09:47:07
Lisa
Whereas when we're holding our attention constantly on a problem, it just makes the problem bigger. So it takes a lot of effort, self-love, energy, time and patience, because results rarely happen overnight when we're nurturing these new ways of thinking and feeling about ourselves and the things going on around us. It takes so much tenacity and determination to stick with this inner work of feeding your light or your light wolf.
00:09:47:10 - 00:10:08:28
Lisa
And I know this because it has been true for me. I've witnessed this in myself and in the thousands of people that I worked with in my more than two decades as a coach. The more you stay committed to feeding your light, Wolf, the more you'll feel a sense of pride, accomplishment, fulfillment, ease, joy, peace and success. And your life will start to change.
00:10:09:00 - 00:10:37:04
Lisa
Your life will start to transform in ways you thought were impossible. So as I said, you know, that is the story that most people know about. Well, which, you know, which Wolf grows. The one you feed, which Wolf wins, the one that you feed. But I found an extended version of this story that goes so much deeper, and I wanted to share it with you again.
00:10:37:06 - 00:11:03:16
Lisa
So I'm going to dive back into the story here. The extended version has the grandfather saying, but if you feed them right, they both win. He continued, You see, if I only choose to feed the light, Wolf, the dark wolf will be hiding around every corner, waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump on and jump to get the attention he craves.
00:11:03:19 - 00:11:29:15
Lisa
He will always be angry and will always fight the light, Wolf. But if I acknowledge him, he is happy and the light wolf is happy. And we all win for the dark. Wolf has many qualities tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strong willed and great strategic thinking that I have a need of at times. These are the very things that the light, wolf, lacks.
00:11:29:18 - 00:11:52:23
Lisa
But the light, Wolf, has compassion, caring, strength and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all. You see, son, the light wolf, needs the dark wolf at his side to feed only one would starve the other, and they will become uncontrollable. To feed and care for both means they will serve you well and do nothing.
00:11:52:25 - 00:12:15:19
Lisa
That is not part of something greater, something good, something of life. Feed them both and there will be no more internal struggle for your attention. And when there is no battle inside you, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowing that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance. Peace, My son is our mission in life.
00:12:15:22 - 00:12:41:24
Lisa
A man or woman who has peace inside has everything a man or woman who is pulled apart by the war inside him or her has nothing. How you choose to interact with the opposing forces within you will determine your life. Starve one or the other or guide them both. Powerful story. Powerful story. Because what this is talking about is polarity and polarity.
00:12:41:24 - 00:13:11:26
Lisa
D is a universal law. What goes up must come down. An inhale always follows an exhale. Contraction always follows expansion in day follows night. We have negative charges that need positive charges. Your light wolf and your dark wolf represent your different emotions and your different thoughts. And all your emotions serve a purpose. From the depths of Shane and sorrow to the highs of joy and ecstasy.
00:13:11:29 - 00:13:33:23
Lisa
Emotions. And you've heard me say this before. They're not good or bad, right or wrong. They're simply guideposts to help you find your way. The days I struggle with my dark wolf, I honor the gifts this part of me holds. Forget for many years my negative self-talk, stories and beliefs kept me safe, even if it was slightly misguided.
00:13:33:25 - 00:14:02:25
Lisa
Okay. There are no parts of us and please hear this there are no parts of us that wish us on well. All these parts, whether it's a light wolf or dark wolf, they are simply doing their job to keep us feeling saved, loved, and with a sense of belonging. And we often develop these thought patterns or behaviors because these parts of us innocently think that that is the way to protect us.
00:14:02:28 - 00:14:26:05
Lisa
That is the way for us to avoid feeling things that we don't want to feel. I love that my dark wolf, that side of me that was out to prove myself helped me really discover my drive and ambition. I love that my dark wolf envied others because that showed me what I wanted in my life and what was possible for me as well.
00:14:26:07 - 00:14:50:04
Lisa
I love that my emotions like anger, frustration and resentment, showed me what I valued in my life and gave me the opportunity to get curious about what I was avoiding. I love that my dark wolf taught me about what is possible when I persevere, and then I'm capable of so much. I also love that my light will show me that I didn't need to prove myself to anyone.
00:14:50:07 - 00:15:15:16
Lisa
And then I can accomplish just as much with patience, kindness, self-compassion, and ease. My dark wolf was really so hard on me and innocently thought that pushing me was how to create the success and happiness I wanted. I'm so grateful for this part of me that can guide me to do things that I don't always want to do or I don't feel like doing.
00:15:15:20 - 00:15:54:06
Lisa
And I love that my light wolf shows me that I don't have to beat myself up to find my drive. And then I don't always have to push my dark wolf to save me from feelings. I wasn't ready to feel like shame, grief and unworthiness. And when the universe decided I was ready for the lessons, I needed to free me from my own victimhood, it allowed my light wolf to show up and teach me about emotional fluency and what life could be like on the other side of feeling more than good enough, My Dark Wolf still wants to tell me sometimes that I can't.
00:15:54:09 - 00:16:23:04
Lisa
But I know it's only because this part of me is scared and doesn't want me to feel hurt or disappointed. I pay attention to those voices and I love my dark wolf. I love my dark wolf. Like, hear this. I acknowledge him and I let him know that everything is going to be okay when he shows up. He's just, again, trying to protect me from not getting hurt or feeling disappointed.
00:16:23:07 - 00:16:51:04
Lisa
It's my job to acknowledge him. And this is what happens in the work I do with my clients. We unpack all these parts that are innocently trying to protect you from you, and we don't like, take them all behind the barn and shoot them and leave them for dead. We don't skip over them with gratitude. We learn to embrace and accept them and work with them by shifting the role they play and the position they hold.
00:16:51:07 - 00:17:21:00
Lisa
We learn how to nurture the light, Wolf, to give it more strength and power so it can stand. Eye to eye with your dark wolf. Not in a fight for power, but with love, grace, compassion. So all sides are ignore it acknowledged. Eventually, we learn how to feed them both and harness the strength, guidance and power. Each of them hold a rebalance of power, so to speak, without having to starve one away or feel like you need to destroy parts of yourself.
00:17:21:02 - 00:17:47:14
Lisa
And this is what I see so often, is people and my clients, maybe even you listening. We so want to avoid feeling crappy that we try and just pretend like that dark wolf side of us isn't there. Instead of acknowledging the gifts it brings us, and when you start to do this inner work, it's not about never having a negative thought or never feeling bad.
00:17:47:16 - 00:18:20:00
Lisa
It's about how can you nurture that side of yourself when it does show up? How can you do this work to strengthen the light, Wolf part of you as well, so that when the dark wolf shows up, they don't again, they don't have to go toe to toe, but one can support the other. This is such a great way of looking at your emotions and how it is important for you to feel all of them to find your way.
00:18:20:02 - 00:18:44:06
Lisa
Nobody likes to feel bad. Like I said, nobody likes to feel bad. So it's the practice of learning how to hold your attention on how you do want to feel really nurturing the voices that need nurturing that little tiny part of you that, no, she's good enough, but she's like hiding under the desk because the big, dark wolf keeps, like, lurking around everywhere.
00:18:44:08 - 00:19:11:06
Lisa
It's giving her more strength and power while at the same time acknowledging, like, why is the dark wolf there? Why does that part of you believe this? Because, again, it doesn't want you. It's not trying to hurt you. It's not trying to hold you back. It truly believes that it's helping you. It's just so misguided in its way, because so many of us didn't grow up with emotional fluency.
00:19:11:12 - 00:19:38:05
Lisa
We learned how to cope with things. And I'm going to come back to what I said is we all have these pillars inside us that are fundamental needs that need to be met. Those needs are for love, safety and belonging. And we will create strategies to make sure that those are in place. And this is where these kind of thoughts and beliefs stem from.
00:19:38:08 - 00:20:11:26
Lisa
So the more that you can learn how to pay attention to all the different parts of you, the dark wolf, the light wolf, and there's a whole range in between of other of other voices that you can nurture and feed and acknowledge and accept. When we learn how to accept all parts of us without making them wrong or bad, that's when you truly find the freedom, joy, peace, ease, fulfillment that so many of you are looking for.
00:20:11:29 - 00:20:44:23
Lisa
So I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I would love to hear your feedback on this one. I was really excited to put it together for you. I know it was a very powerful role reading when I brought it to my clients and I hope it is just as impactful for you and I hope that in listening to this you can learn to see and value and give that dark wolf a little bit more love while also loving hard on your light wolf.
00:20:44:28 - 00:20:55:22
Lisa
So until next episode. Thank you again for being here. Thank you for tuning in and listening. I appreciate you so, so much and I'll talk to you on the next episode.
00:20:55:22 - 00:21:17:03
Lisa
Hey. Hey. Before you go, I'd like to ask you something. How much longer are you willing to put yourself last to keep pushing through, hoping things will magically change while feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from the life you truly want. Tell me if this sounds like you. From the outside. Most people think you have it all figured out.
00:21:17:08 - 00:21:38:01
Lisa
But the truth is that on most days you feel like you're barely holding it together. Your life is full of responsibilities and there's a high demand on your time and energy. You know you can't drop the ball yet. You're terrified it's going to happen. And worst of all, you're already taking the hit because you often end up at the bottom of your to do list.
00:21:38:03 - 00:22:11:08
Lisa
You've achieved so much, yet deep down, what you want most is more ease, more fulfillment, more joy, more you. And that is exactly what reclamation is all about. This isn't just another program. It's your opportunity to finally break free from the patterns that are keeping you stuck and step into a life that feels aligned, intentional and fulfilling. It's a safe space to have conversations that matter with women who get you and share your complicated relationship with vulnerability.
00:22:11:10 - 00:22:37:27
Lisa
Imagine having the support, the tools and the accountability to create real, lasting change where you're no longer just surviving, but thriving. So if you're done with feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and constantly running on empty, it's time to take that first step. Head to Lisa Carpenter, dot K forward slash reclamation and say yes to yourself, yes to the life you know you're meant for.
00:22:37:27 - 00:22:45:17
Lisa
Because if nothing changes, nothing changes. As I'll see you on the inside.
