EPISODE 358: Why Your Success Doesn’t Feel Like Success, with Adele Tevlin

00:00:06:29 - 00:00:33:12
Lisa
You built success that looks damn good on the outside, but inside it's costing you your health, your relationships, your energy. And no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough. Welcome to Congruent. I'm Lisa Carpenter, the coach. High performers call when they can afford to burn it all down, but they can't keep living like this either.

00:00:33:14 - 00:00:58:24
Lisa
Here we rip off the mask of success and expose what's real. The patterns that you keep running, the price that you've paid, and how to build success that fuels you instead of empties you. Real success is agency. It's powerful self leadership to run your life instead of being run by it. To let your drive and your well-being finally work together.

00:00:58:27 - 00:01:08:28
Lisa
Because the real win is success. That actually feels good.

00:01:09:01 - 00:01:30:08
Lisa
Most of the people I work with do not arrive at my door because they're falling apart. They arrive because they're succeeding. And success isn't doing what it was supposed to do. The bank account is full, the resume is impressive, and life looks enviable from the outside. And yet something underneath it is quietly unraveling. Their bodies are sending them signals.

00:01:30:16 - 00:01:59:20
Lisa
The relationships in their lives are showing strain and the sense of is this. It is getting louder. And the strategies that built the success in the first place are starting to feel like the very thing. Keeping them from being able to actually feel it. Welcome to congruent. I'm Lisa Carpenter and this podcast is where we name what's actually happening underneath high achievement and what it takes to build success that finally feels the way you thought it would.

00:01:59:22 - 00:02:32:03
Lisa
My guest today is one of the few people I trust to speak to this with the depth it requires. Adele Devlin is a master identity architect, international speaker, behavioral expert, and the creator of the Identity Ascension method, where she helps entrepreneurs, leaders and visionaries transform their subconscious limitations into embodied power. Her work moves beyond mindset into the nervous system and the core self-concept that actually drives behavior, decision making, and success.

00:02:32:06 - 00:02:56:25
Lisa
I met Adele in 2018 at an event in Fernie, and the version of her I met that weekend was already a successful practitioner on Bass Street. With the diplomas, the awards and the recognition that come with being seen as a trailblazer in her field, what I did not know, and what most people in the room did not know, was that the business generating over $300,000 that year had nothing left over.

00:02:56:27 - 00:03:19:27
Lisa
Her come to Jesus moment happened when her knees hit the ground, because she had to ask her partner of three months to lend her $10,000 to make payroll. We talk about what it actually took for her to close that business, with no plan for what was next, and how she generated her first million dollars in the eight months that followed.

00:03:19:29 - 00:03:41:08
Lisa
We talk about the difference between wanting wealth and being safe enough to hold it, which is the conversation almost no one is having correctly. And we talk about what it look like to stay in integrity with her work through five years of court battles, a miscarriage and a PTSD diagnosis. And to come out the other side as a completely different woman.

00:03:41:10 - 00:03:50:13
Lisa
If you have built something impressive that quietly doesn't feel like enough. This is the conversation. So let's dive in.

00:03:50:15 - 00:03:52:20
Lisa
Adele, it is so good to see you.

00:03:52:23 - 00:03:53:24
Adele
It is so good to see.

00:03:53:26 - 00:04:06:27
Lisa
We are going to walk down. We're going to kick this off, by walking down memory lane a little bit because I was on my phone looking at my phone up photos of Ferney back in 2018. My friend, was.

00:04:06:27 - 00:04:08:02
Adele
That 2018?

00:04:08:02 - 00:04:28:13
Lisa
That was 2018 because I actually pulled up my photos. I'm like, what year was this? Because it feels like five lifetimes ago. I've died five times since then and have reversed, as I know you have. And you know, I remember when I met you, you're still like, so full of life and spirit and just like, larger than life.

00:04:28:13 - 00:04:48:13
Lisa
I mean, I'm not going to get into all the stories and stuff we got into, but it was a good time. Good time. Had Bill and I really saw you as this incredibly successful, confident, grounded woman, which I'm sure you were. And I think that there was probably a lot more going on behind the scenes than you were showing forward facing.

00:04:48:13 - 00:04:54:18
Lisa
I know there was for me, there's a really big story behind that. We won't get into some here to talk to you about your story.

00:04:54:21 - 00:05:01:10
Lisa
But, well, you know, maybe part two. We'll have part two.

00:05:01:12 - 00:05:18:20
Lisa
Can you tell me a little bit when you look back at that version of yourself from 2018, what was really happening behind the surface behind that time? Because I know a little bit of your story, but, you know, I want you to kind of share with the listeners where you grew up.

00:05:18:23 - 00:05:23:09
Adele
Oh my goodness, you're really starting off with a doozy.

00:05:23:11 - 00:05:27:24
Lisa
Well, you know, we only go deep here. This is why I was looking forward to talking to you, because I know.

00:05:27:24 - 00:05:28:26
Adele
I can't wait.

00:05:28:29 - 00:05:31:19
Lisa
You can match my emotional depth.

00:05:31:21 - 00:05:49:09
Adele
Absolutely. So 2018, it's my God that feels 20 like 20 years ago. So my son Illya would have been two. I wonder if I would have met had I met my Dave yet was I was a with Dave or was I not with Dave?

00:05:49:12 - 00:05:54:29
Lisa
I don't, you know, I don't think so. I think Dave came into the picture shortly after that. Yeah.

00:05:55:02 - 00:06:23:14
Adele
Okay. So 2018, I was a single mom to Illya, who was two, and I had started to really begin to excavate my inner world. I'd like to say I always say that like when Illya was born, his birth was my rebirth. Because I truly don't think I actually knew who I was until I became a mom. And not only.

00:06:23:14 - 00:06:52:27
Adele
And I think motherhood does do that. And the situation in which I was in with my son's biological dad was quite intense. And so when I met you in 2018, I was single parenting Illya. His dad was somewhat in the picture, but it was quite a toxic dynamic. When I say single parent to like, I have to specify this, and this might be triggering for people, but I don't.

00:06:52:27 - 00:06:54:29
Lisa
Care because it's the truth.

00:06:55:01 - 00:07:15:20
Adele
Like, there was no financial support from him. There was no support at all. So part of that activation for me in my business at the time, and I was still running a brick and mortar practice on Bay Street, was there was a bit of this, like reckoning around, you have to get your shit together because it's all on you now.

00:07:15:22 - 00:07:49:01
Adele
There was no other person to come save me, and I talk a lot about that with my female clients. Like there's this like paradigm that some women still have. Most of us still have that. Like some man is there to save you, your dad saved you, and then it's your husband is saving you and I. So when I met you in 2018, like I was really at the beginning, at the onset of like, who am I really asking myself these deep questions like, really working on rewiring my belief about money and success because up until that point it was success.

00:07:49:04 - 00:08:15:15
Adele
Hard work equals success. Burning out equals success. Self betrayal equals success. Self annihilation equals success. And so I was starting to metamorphosis in 2018. I actually looked back. It's funny that you say 2018 because you know you're like the iPhone now. Like I got the newest one and it like shows you all your albums. And yeah, you put together a montage and there was like a picture from 2018 and I look like a chicken nugget.

00:08:15:17 - 00:08:44:29
Adele
I can't wait, like, like I was, I was coming into myself, but I still I can see how much has shifted. I was still insecure, I think I was still seeking approval. I think even going to the dovetail event where we met was, I probably a level of comparison to other people. Do I belong in this room?

00:08:44:29 - 00:09:04:24
Adele
Like all the imposter stuff that we all go through? And so that version of me was on, on the beginning, end of this true discovery of who I really am. So that's like Adele 2.0, I like to color and I'm now on version, I don't know, 10.0.

00:09:04:26 - 00:09:07:21
Lisa
Okay. I, I'm on.

00:09:07:21 - 00:09:11:21
Adele
The iOS 10.0 upgrade.

00:09:11:23 - 00:09:29:22
Lisa
Oh got it. So it's so fascinating to hear that because that was a real turning point for me too. I remember getting on the plane to go to that event and I was like, Lisa, you have no business being at this event. But I was coaching, the facilitator, the organizer. Right. She was my client. She was my client at the time.

00:09:29:22 - 00:09:30:07
Lisa
Right? I didn't.

00:09:30:07 - 00:09:31:01
Adele
Know that. Okay?

00:09:31:08 - 00:09:53:26
Lisa
She was my client. So holding that tension of like, of course you get to be here, you're coaching the person who is actually running the event. But when I got home because I was like, I mean, I was not doing well in my business at that time, right? Holding a lot of things. You know, my practice just wasn't going the way I wanted it to.

00:09:53:26 - 00:10:09:12
Lisa
And at that time, I measured success. The only marker of success for me was dollars in the bank. Didn't matter anything else I had accomplished in my life, it was it was dollars in the bank. And I remember I came home from that event and I was in, you know, comparison and all that, the same stuff. You were.

00:10:09:13 - 00:10:11:00
Adele
Comparison heights person.

00:10:11:01 - 00:10:11:24
Lisa
Personalizes so.

00:10:11:24 - 00:10:11:29
Adele
I.

00:10:12:01 - 00:10:30:14
Lisa
Contagious. It's interesting looking, you know, hearing your story and going, you know, we were all feeling the same thing. But when I got home from that event within 24 hours, I remember going into my head and being like, Lisa, like you had no business being at that table. And it was a pivotal moment because I said, Lisa, stop it.

00:10:30:16 - 00:10:45:27
Lisa
How much longer are you going to run this story? How much longer are you going to tell yourself that you're not good enough? You don't get to be in these rooms. Like, what is the benefit that you're getting out of this? And from that moment forward, every time I heard that not good enough story come up. Stop it.

00:10:45:27 - 00:11:03:12
Lisa
Lisa, we're not entertaining this. We're not going to tolerate this in our self anymore. And it was a so it was a real pivotal moment for taking responsibility for who I wanted to become. And the bullshit I was tolerating in myself that was actually creating the $0 in the bank apps.

00:11:03:13 - 00:11:42:24
Adele
I mean, you literally just I mean, we can go, this is a whole tangent, but this is literally exactly the conversation I'm leading inside my certification, where today we were talking about everything is a mirror. And I actually, as you were sharing that, I was brought back because I sort of remember the event and like, not really. And then as you were talking, I had this visual memory of I think it was at the Fernie event where I was leading a workshop on CBT, and Jen Cam was there, and I don't know if you remember, if you were at that, if it was that one and I was I was doing the exercise.

00:11:42:24 - 00:12:06:18
Adele
I was taking someone through this powerful, transformative tool. And Jen, who in my eyes, I looked up to her and and still do. But like, you know, back then it was kind of like we put these people on pedestals to you, you know, now we're kind of that person to somebody else. But anyway, she said she pulled me aside after and she said to me, you have the it factor.

00:12:06:20 - 00:12:31:10
Adele
And I remember being like, okay, this is why I'm here. What I mean by that is there's two things that happen when you put a group of powerful women together. One, the shadow side of that is the sister wound that gets unlocked. I'm not good enough comparison, etc. the the flip side is being seen through someone else's eyes as a meet in the mirror.

00:12:31:10 - 00:12:47:24
Adele
That it points to you. Because I remember it was pivotal for me to hear that going, okay, I feel seen in this group like this is actually where I belong. Her telling me you have the IT factor and whatever that meant. But I sort of felt like, okay, like I'm on the right path, I'm on the right path.

00:12:47:27 - 00:13:02:13
Adele
And so I believe, like since then, putting myself in bigger rooms than I was ready for has been a big part of my acceleration. Because someone's looking at you and they see something in you. It's all a mirror.

00:13:02:14 - 00:13:04:00
Lisa
We're all mirroring.

00:13:04:02 - 00:13:23:05
Adele
Transference, whatever it is. And you know, in that, in that recognition of who I really was, I got to see. Wow. Like Adele, like you are. You do have the it factor. I mean, we I believe we all have the IT factor. I believe we're all God in human form. But sometimes it takes, being recognized by someone else.

00:13:23:07 - 00:13:24:04
Lisa
Yeah, I agree.

00:13:24:10 - 00:13:24:27
Adele
Yeah.

00:13:24:29 - 00:13:48:15
Lisa
I'm I'm currently in a transition like that right now and it's been very like, oh, you know, it's just those, those moments that you really can't deny the truth. But you can. But I know what that will cost me if I deny the truth. Right. If I can feel the dissonance. So you have openly talked and shared that you were, you know, by all means a successful practitioner on Bay Street.

00:13:48:17 - 00:13:49:02
Adele
Yep.

00:13:49:04 - 00:13:51:23
Lisa
But you were financially struggling, like really struggling.

00:13:51:28 - 00:13:53:05
Lisa
Yeah.

00:13:53:07 - 00:13:59:09
Lisa
And you share about that season because I really think that it's such a like when I heard your story, I was like, whoa, damn, girl.

00:13:59:12 - 00:14:23:26
Adele
Oh, I mean, you haven't even you've heard like a quarter like this. This story is going to take this is in my book. Like, I mean, there's probably 800 pages of this story, but yes. So I was on Bay Street. I was running a practice, I was coaching entrepreneurs, I was coaching CEOs, I was doing, you know, workshops in corporate, etc. and I was successful because I was part of dovetail.

00:14:23:26 - 00:14:51:10
Adele
I was part of other women's organizations. I was on the cover of things. I was presented these awards as being a trailblazer. I looked good on paper, so to speak, but the inside of my business, the health of my business, was suffering because I did not understand money. My worth in how money moves. So, for example, I was making money, I think, actually be here.

00:14:51:10 - 00:15:13:03
Adele
You know, it's funny, the year that I tell the story where I my knees hit the ground was 2018. I think my business had generated about 340,000 that year. Okay. That's not an insignificant amount of money, but I had nothing left over, you know, so I was spending more than I was making, I was paying a team that wasn't really contributing to the bottom line.

00:15:13:05 - 00:15:17:26
Adele
And so I was I was running a very,

00:15:17:28 - 00:15:47:03
Adele
Unhealthy business because my relationship to money at that time was unhealthy, but I didn't recognize it was unhealthy until in hindsight. And then my knees hit the ground when there was a payroll. So Dave had just come into my life. I think we were together for three months, and there was a payroll that came where I was basically like, I don't there is not enough money in the account to pay everybody and myself.

00:15:47:06 - 00:16:09:20
Adele
And I asked him to lend me, I think it was like ten grand or something like that to basically pay off the whole thing. And that was the moment where I came home. And I tell the story like from the stage, from everywhere. It's like my knees hit the ground and I looked up and it was the first time I probably ever prayed to God, because I don't think I really believed I had a relationship with God up until then, but I was like, I can't do this anymore.

00:16:09:22 - 00:16:39:24
Adele
I'm miserable with what I'm doing in that. Like, I was working with toxic clients. I have all these diplomas. I'm looking at them. I have all these diplomas on my wall. Right. By all means, I'm a success, and yet I can't. I don't have 10,000 to pay my team. Like, now I think about 10,000. Like, 10,000 is what we spend on a minute by minute basis in my business to keep it floating right and back then it was like, if I had 10,000, I could pay my team and somehow float us to the next month.

00:16:39:24 - 00:17:00:10
Adele
And I was living paycheck to paycheck inside my business. And it all had to do with my beliefs, my paradigms about money, my unconscious story that I was still carrying hard work, trading time for money, self betrayal, working with clients that I didn't like, but they were paying me the money. So I was in a value conflict.

00:17:00:10 - 00:17:22:13
Adele
I was in dissonance. I was in, in congruency, you know, as you like to say. And so as a result, when we're incongruent, we're in chaos. And it was around that time. So 2019, December 2019. No, December 21st. Did the pandemic start 2020 right?

00:17:22:16 - 00:17:24:07
Lisa
That seems like another lifetime ago.

00:17:24:14 - 00:17:45:24
Adele
Right. So December 2019, you know, before the pandemic, I closed down my my practice that had been open since 2012. I said, I'm done. I had no fucking plan. But I was working with a spiritual mentor at the time. Her name is Sabrina. She's still a dear friend of mine and she had me do an exercise. She said, I want you to make a list of things that bring you joy.

00:17:45:29 - 00:18:09:27
Adele
And I looked at her like she was fucking insane because I was like, I don't have joy. I don't know what that means. I wake up, I'm a single mom. I feed my kid, I'm going to work. I have a team, I have responsibilities, I don't really like my clients. And so she was like, okay, I just want you to start to connect to your joy, and I need you to free up your calendar.

00:18:09:27 - 00:18:30:10
Adele
So because I was seeing, like ten clients a day, I have something ridiculous. I was so fried. You know how it is when you're working with people. You're carrying the weight of it. And so in this time that I started to work with her, I came to this conclusion that I wanted out of what I was doing. And it was the first time in my life that I didn't have a plan for where I was going next.

00:18:30:13 - 00:18:49:11
Adele
So I closed down my business and I kept a handful of clients that I really did like. They were all female, by the way. So this was this is part of the story where I was working with all men and the women, the people that I really liked. I was like, they're women. But I hadn't considered working with women only, and we went online together.

00:18:49:11 - 00:19:08:00
Adele
Basically, I'm like, I'm closing down my business, like in person, but we're going to still talk on the phone or go on zoom or whatever. And in that space I created, I downloaded my first program, my first online program called the CEO blueprint. I didn't even know what that meant. It just came through the channel. I still have it here.

00:19:08:00 - 00:19:18:29
Adele
Actually. There's no word of a like this orange folder. I just show this to you. Okay?

00:19:19:01 - 00:19:26:24
Adele
And I sat down and I mapped out what this program would be.

00:19:26:26 - 00:19:28:13
Lisa
Amazing.

00:19:28:16 - 00:19:33:23
Adele
And this right here created me my first million dollars in eight months.

00:19:33:26 - 00:19:36:05
Lisa
Amazing.

00:19:36:08 - 00:20:00:25
Adele
And it was all me allowing myself to be uncomfortable, to not have certainty and to allow God in the universe to guide me. And so in that space, I started downloading all these ideas of what the program would be. And it's all the work I teach in or child work, childhood conditioning, family systems put it all together CBT and ran a four week program, launched it.

00:20:00:25 - 00:20:20:07
Adele
It became an extension ladder of like different programs. Within eight months, we generated our first seven figures in the business and that was it. It was like a complete that's what I call a quantum leap, where you're going from this to this in such a short amount of time that it doesn't even make sense.

00:20:20:10 - 00:20:29:12
Lisa
It's amazing, I love it. What I hear is you were acting with certainty in the uncertainty. Yes. And it's such a key.

00:20:29:15 - 00:20:48:15
Adele
Yeah I think yeah. I love that it. I was acting, you know what it was. I think for the first time I actually embodied loving detachment. So I had understood it as a concept, like, okay, people say with manifestation like, you know, focus on the desire, but detach from the how, you know, it's loving detachment.

00:20:48:18 - 00:20:49:03
Lisa
Yeah.

00:20:49:06 - 00:21:16:23
Adele
But because my knees hit the ground and I had nothing to lose, I was actually acting from a beginner's mind. And that beginner's mind is so powerful because you're not projecting what you think is going to happen. Like I if you were to ask me in that moment, Adele, like you're going to make eight, seven figures in eight months, working on a computer, delivering a program to people on the internet.

00:21:16:26 - 00:21:38:15
Adele
My brain would be like, you're insane. It doesn't even make any sense. Because the only way I knew how to make money at the time was trading my time for money. 1 to 1, 1 to 1. And I went from one to 1 to 1 to many. And so that collapsed time. So I was I was living in this embodiment of loving detachment, because I actually didn't know what the fuck I was doing.

00:21:38:17 - 00:21:45:10
Adele
And that novelty and beginner's mind is so powerful because you don't even know what to expect.

00:21:45:15 - 00:22:00:13
Lisa
You know, and you had. No, I think what what trips up a lot of people is they pull their past history and look at all the things they did in the past, and then they try and bring it in to create the future. But because you'd never done this before, you didn't even have any past history to pull.

00:22:00:13 - 00:22:01:29
Lisa
You were just like, I don't know what I'm doing.

00:22:02:05 - 00:22:05:15
Adele
I was making it up. Yes, I was making it happen. That was.

00:22:05:17 - 00:22:06:27
Lisa
Joyful.

00:22:07:00 - 00:22:15:11
Lisa
I absolutely love. So you actually invested a significant amount of money that you didn't have to do this as well?

00:22:15:13 - 00:22:16:26
Lisa
Yes.

00:22:16:28 - 00:22:20:09
Lisa
Like $100,000. I think that you did not have.

00:22:20:12 - 00:22:21:02
Adele
Yeah.

00:22:21:04 - 00:22:38:29
Lisa
What in you allowed you to be able to cross that threshold of saying, I'm going to act with certainty in the uncertainty, and I am so certain of what I'm going to create for myself from this place of being detached, which a lot of people are like, their brains are bleeding right now is they're listening to me, I get it.

00:22:39:04 - 00:22:53:28
Lisa
Detachment is a really hard concept for a lot of people to understand and which I get. How did you get yourself to that place? Because I don't think that everybody is hard wired or built that way.

00:22:54:01 - 00:23:27:21
Adele
So I'm going to I'm going to lovingly disagree with that. So here's like, we're all hard wired to take risk. That's actually how we learn. But the middle class mindset that is ingrained in most people tells you don't take risk or take very calculated risk. And I was working at that time with Sabrina, this one spiritual mentor. And then I met my second mentor, David, and he was the first person that started teaching me the laws of the universe.

00:23:27:21 - 00:23:49:08
Adele
So he was a disciple of Bob Proctor, and I was studying with him. I was studying with him in like a morning study group, and he started talking about the law of cause and effect and the law of attraction and law of manifestation, and the law of nonresistance and the Law of Polarity. And I was studying and I was ingesting the laws because the laws are the truth of the universe.

00:23:49:08 - 00:24:19:01
Adele
The laws are absolute. They're undeniable. It's like the law of gravity is the law of thermodynamics. And I became obsessed with understanding the laws as I was like doing a lot of inner healing around my wounds and all of this. And so, so when I wanted to work with him one on one at that time, his his coaching for the year was 100,000 us, and it made no sense for me to say yes to that because like I said, I was like living paycheck to paycheck.

00:24:19:04 - 00:24:38:08
Adele
But he said to me when and this was probably if I had to think about what is the biggest unlock that I've ever had, that I continue to teach my clients that I still to this day believe is the biggest unlock is this. So if everyone's listening, if you just take this one thing and nothing else that I ever say again, your.

00:24:38:08 - 00:24:40:25
Lisa
Life will change.

00:24:40:28 - 00:24:52:22
Adele
He said to me, the power, the law of decision is that you have to make the decision first, then the resources show up.

00:24:52:25 - 00:25:15:06
Adele
You have to decide. So I say, now I go first, the universe responds. But from a quantum physics perspective like this is true. Measurable quantum physics. Mathematics like this is actually how the universe works. And I now know this from such an absolute place, because I've done it over and over again, and I've seen people do it over and over again.

00:25:15:08 - 00:25:35:14
Adele
So the minute I decided I want to work with him for a year, I want this coaching. I know in every fiber of my being, this is the man that was sent to me for this transformation in this moment. I felt it in my bones and I. I trusted him enough and I tethered to his belief in me.

00:25:35:14 - 00:25:50:12
Adele
So he used to say to me, believe in my belief for you for now. And he and I said, well, I don't have the hundred grand. And he goes, okay, well, if you were to find it, where where would it be? He said, because you have the money, the money is going to show up the minute you decide.

00:25:50:14 - 00:26:09:22
Adele
So I said, okay, well, I want to do the program with you. So then he's like, great, let's get curious about how we could do that. And so I sat out. He gave me homework, sit down and think of all the ways the money is hiding in your life right now. And I said, okay. So that night I started thinking about all the things, and I came up with a plan and it was actually right in front of me the whole time.

00:26:09:24 - 00:26:40:21
Adele
I'm like, I had a mortgage on my home, and I might I talked to my bank. They're like, well, you can read the mortgages will pull a hundred grand out, no problem. And there you go. And I paid for it in full. And I thought to myself, and that was the year that I went to seven figures. So in doing that, that first unlock unlocked the seven figures because people want to make the money, but they don't understand that you have to also invest the money.

00:26:40:21 - 00:26:58:14
Adele
You have to go first. You have to say you're showing the universe, I'm serious about this. And for me, 100,000 at that time, like right now, like, I'm not saying this to be pompous, but now $100,000. Honestly, I don't even notice it's gone in the account.

00:26:58:17 - 00:27:05:03
Adele
But then 100,000 was like, I didn't tell my parents this because they would have thought I was like in some kind of cult.

00:27:05:05 - 00:27:06:09
Lisa
You know?

00:27:06:11 - 00:27:26:17
Adele
But I'm like, I knew in every fiber of my being that it was not irresponsible. I actually felt like it was my responsibility to break through and transform, and I knew that I was in the right coaching with these two people and in making that investment, he said. When you decide, the universe responds, so I made that 100 K investment and what do you know?

00:27:26:17 - 00:27:30:18
Adele
I think the next launch, I did like a $200,000 launch.

00:27:30:21 - 00:27:33:23
Lisa
And I love the story so much. And I push.

00:27:33:24 - 00:27:45:26
Adele
The damn truth, like I'll go to my great money in and it's continuous. Then I made another huge investment with Melanie and later, in 2023, I think I spent about half $1 million in private coaching.

00:27:45:29 - 00:27:46:20
Lisa
Wow.

00:27:46:23 - 00:28:15:09
Adele
And it was the year that I unlocked my biggest year in my business. And people don't understand, like, you know, when you save someone, when you explain math to your kids, you know, kids learn math. One plus one equals two. They're not arguing it. There's no value conflict. It's undeniable. What I've come to understand around manifestation is that you go first, and you are going to bring that back tenfold.

00:28:15:16 - 00:28:51:16
Adele
It's not even 1 to 1. It's like it can be 1 to 1. It can be 1 to 2, it could be 1 to 10. So I, I now really understand that we all have the power to make that choice, to make that decision. Actually, none of us are. So I believe that we're born with this ability to understand the laws and the truth, but we get conditioned out of them through fear, scarcity, lack, middle class mindset, etc. and the work that I teach is about de conditioning people to come back to the truth.

00:28:51:16 - 00:29:16:17
Adele
Because the truth is simple. Everything that you want is here. If you have a need or desire, it's already here for you. But you have to be the first player in the game of chess. Like most people are sitting around going, okay, universe isn't giving me anything. It's like, because you're not fucking doing anything. Yeah. You're not. You're not even willing to spend $500 on a therapy session, and you're not willing to invest $10,000 in a program.

00:29:16:17 - 00:29:20:17
Adele
But you want to be a millionaire. That does. That's never going to add up.

00:29:20:19 - 00:29:22:26
Lisa
Yeah. So true.

00:29:22:29 - 00:29:33:12
Adele
You can want it as far as you know. Want it all, you all you want. But you're not demonstrating that you actually want it.

00:29:33:14 - 00:29:42:26
Lisa
You know what's so fascinating about this conversation is I'm listening to you, and I'm thinking back on my own journey of investing, which is a little sketch, some of it Adele.

00:29:42:29 - 00:29:47:03
Adele
For sure. And we get.

00:29:47:05 - 00:29:49:10
Lisa
You have to. Yeah, yeah. Go on.

00:29:49:13 - 00:30:12:03
Lisa
Because much of my early investing in my business was fear based. I invest in this. This will fix my business. If I invest in this, this will fix my business. It wasn't from a place of deciding and that's where I am now. Right. Like I'm like this is what's happening. Makes no sense. This is what we're doing.

00:30:12:03 - 00:30:31:11
Lisa
This is how we're going to do it. It's a very different energetic place that I'm in versus in the where I was in the past. And the friction that I've been feeling is what I brought up a few minutes ago around. There's this past history of mine that always wants to creep in, that I have to dissolve and say it's not relevant for where we are today.

00:30:31:11 - 00:30:39:19
Lisa
So even though this feels like it doesn't make sense, it makes absolute and total sense to me, that certainty in the uncertainty.

00:30:39:21 - 00:31:11:13
Adele
Totally. And and what I'm really picking up on with you is like, we've all made blunders in our investment, you know? But part of that is I always say to people, I even call them mistakes, like, but let's say mistakes. They give you so much data. Like, I would rather someone go invest and make the wrong investment and then learn the lesson from both the nervous system perspective and the data so that they don't do that again.

00:31:11:15 - 00:31:30:16
Adele
But what is worse is doing nothing, because doing nothing doesn't change. There's no rewiring, there's no see. The rewiring of the mind happens in the redirection. So it's like, okay, I did this thing that didn't provide the thing I wanted. Okay, no problem. I don't have to give it meaning. I can just see it as a data point, like a scientist.

00:31:30:16 - 00:31:31:22
Lisa
Right? Yeah. Okay. Great.

00:31:31:26 - 00:31:57:11
Adele
Now I'm going to go invest in that thing. Oh, yeah. That feels more aligned. Okay, great. I've invested so much. Like, I can tell you all the blunders, like marketing companies. And there's not 50, 60,000, 100,000 that, you know, they sold me things that they couldn't provide. No problem. But now when I hired my CMO, my new CMO, Aaron, it's like I knew what I was looking for based on the things that I didn't get.

00:31:57:11 - 00:32:16:08
Adele
So then I actually found the right person because I was like, okay, here's what I know to be true, blah blah, blah, blah, blah. So then when I searched for this, this woman who's now come in for four months in my business and it's just been a godsend, it's like, okay, I actually understood someone that knows what they're talking about versus full of shit.

00:32:16:08 - 00:32:17:17
Adele
And isn't that the truth?

00:32:17:19 - 00:32:19:28
Lisa
Yeah, the way we learn.

00:32:20:00 - 00:32:39:25
Adele
Yeah. And the other thing I was going to say that I just wrote down on my piece of paper as you were talking, is like, we've all made those decisions from fear, and it's really more from lack, like, I'm feeling lack in my business and I'm hoping that this thing will fit that. Yeah, right. Which is coming from need, which is rooted in lack versus desire.

00:32:39:25 - 00:33:01:04
Adele
So one of the things I teach people and I distinguish for myself as well, is, is this thing in front of me something I want because I need it or because I desire it, or I think I need it and I my sort of conviction in life is, every decision I make in alignment with my desires makes me wealthy and every.

00:33:01:04 - 00:33:02:00
Lisa
I love that.

00:33:02:02 - 00:33:24:04
Adele
Yeah, everything. Every decision I make in alignment with my desires makes me wealthy. And every time I swim in need, it makes me broke. Like emotionally in other well. So like if I'm coming from I need this, I need this sale. It's coming from scarcity, it's coming from lack, it's coming from a sense of urgency. It's coming from not enough.

00:33:24:07 - 00:33:45:12
Adele
When I'm in desire. Desire is in God's realm of creation. That's what I say. Like it's already here on a different level of consciousness, and I'm already connected to it because I have a connection to it. So there is an energetic connection. And when I follow the path of desire, that's when all the abundance has unlocked for me.

00:33:45:12 - 00:33:57:29
Adele
Like things that didn't even make sense. Like I said, like $500,000 weeks, like whatever it was that happened where I was like, like, what the fuck? Like where how is that even thing?

00:33:58:01 - 00:34:16:12
Adele
So you have to look at the energetic set point. I say of, of the thing that you want. And for a lot of people I've been playing a lot with this actually since I was in Bahamas last week, I had a lot of time to reflect on things and I was like, most people live their life in wanting energy.

00:34:16:12 - 00:34:53:27
Adele
They want, they want, they want, they want, and wanting. Energy is rooted in lack in a sense that you don't have it correct. Okay. When you're in having energy, you already have it, so there's no wanting. So if you can flip someone and this is like I would say, this is a pretty advanced manifestation trick. If I can live in the frequency of having, even when I don't see it with my physical in my physical environment, but I live in the having, I'm going to I'm going to collapse time on the manifestation.

00:34:53:29 - 00:34:57:17
Lisa
Yeah, that's been true in my life for sure.

00:34:57:19 - 00:35:19:01
Adele
If you live in the wanting, then you're always like, it's on the horizon, like you're never there, it's never there, it's never there. So what I've been playing with more recently is like, everything that I, I'm manifesting right now in my life, right? I'm playing in like, well, I already have it on some level of consciousness, so if I have it, what's my frequency?

00:35:19:04 - 00:35:30:07
Adele
Well, I'm calm, I'm grateful. I'm at peace. Maybe I'm relieved, but I'm not anxious, worried, afraid because I already have it.

00:35:30:09 - 00:35:49:25
Lisa
Yeah. It's such a beautiful place to work from when you get it. And I do want to acknowledge the amount of work that it takes for most people to get there. It was, it was it was a hard fought journey for me. And some days I still feel a little scrappy about it. Yeah. And I and I think this might be true for you as well.

00:35:49:25 - 00:36:08:19
Lisa
When we talk about our relationship with money, there was a lot of work that needed to be done just with how I actually was in that relationship. And when when I say to people, you know, how would you describe your relationship with money? It's amazing how many people don't look at it as a relationship. And I'm like, well, if you neglected your partner.

00:36:08:21 - 00:36:25:27
Lisa
Yeah. Do you think that they would hang out with you? So there was a lot of cleanup that I needed to do, even in terms of building my wealth around? Can I hold that wealth? Have I created the containers? Have I created the safe space within my bank accounts, but also within my body to know that I could trust it?

00:36:25:27 - 00:36:53:10
Lisa
Right when money started flowing in, I was like, I, I don't, I don't know if I can paint. So all this money was coming in and I was still scared about, can I pay my bills? Can I do this? Can I do that? So I'd love for you to talk about the difference for you around wanting wealth, but also feeling safe enough to actually hold it, because I think this is a really big missing piece for people who are looking to build more wealth and abundance in their life, and I think that you can speak to it beautifully.

00:36:53:10 - 00:36:53:20
Lisa
Adele.

00:36:53:22 - 00:36:55:03
Adele
Well, this is.

00:36:55:05 - 00:36:58:05
Lisa
This is like this is like your whole wheelhouse.

00:36:58:07 - 00:37:00:17
Adele
I mean, you just are like describing my we are.

00:37:00:19 - 00:37:03:23
Lisa
I know this is your love. This is your love. Like, this is.

00:37:03:23 - 00:37:28:02
Adele
Like the safe of the safe to hold it. Is everything so okay. I don't even know where to begin with this. So let's start with a few things. Relationship to money 1,000% money is a relationship. I actually say money is is my lover. Like how would I guess it is? It's like my it's my lover. I'm going to love romance with money.

00:37:28:05 - 00:37:55:06
Adele
And actually, as I say that it gives me chills and also makes me teary because I have so much reverence for every dollar I both spend and that comes into my account. So even to this day, when I see thrive cards or, payments getting processed, or I literally look at it and I say thank you like I'm reverent, I don't have it doesn't matter if it's $20 or if it's $20,000.

00:37:55:08 - 00:38:15:07
Adele
I'm I'm very I have such a beautiful relationship with money because that was part of what I needed to clean up when I started to become successful. I recognize that I like most people, they avoid money, they don't look at their bank account. They have no fucking clue how money is moving in their life. If I asked them what their budget is on a monthly basis, they would not know.

00:38:15:09 - 00:38:32:16
Adele
They would either avoid their bank account or be hyper vigilant to looking at the money every day. There was so much fear and I was like that too. I didn't, I avoided my finances. I sort of, what's it called? Like redirected things to ask my dad questions. Like, I didn't want to learn about money. I was very resistant, you know.

00:38:32:22 - 00:38:49:02
Adele
And so the first unlock for me was clean up my integrity with money. And I talk about this a lot. I have a course called Unlock an Unshakable Money Mindset that I recorded back in 2020, 2021. But it was like the first step was like, you have to clean up your integrity with money. So what does that mean?

00:38:49:05 - 00:39:08:23
Adele
Where are you not in integrity with money? Where do you have outstanding bills? Where are you in debt? Where do you owe people? Shit. Where are you not paying yourself? Where do you not understand your money? Money is not going to come in. It's like to your point, like a relationship, a lover. If you've neglected your lover for two months and then you're like, hey lover, I'm horny.

00:39:08:25 - 00:39:09:09
Lisa
Your lover.

00:39:09:09 - 00:39:10:01
Adele
Is like, I'm moved.

00:39:10:01 - 00:39:35:17
Lisa
On. I'm out. Yeah, I talk about, I talk about it like so many of us are in this codependent relationship with money. We want more, and we're pissed off that it's not there for us. Like, it's. It's a really. And you, you like cleaning up that relationships that there's this beautiful reciprocity, right? There's this reciprocity between you and your money and seeing it as the beautiful tool that it is, is so important.

00:39:35:17 - 00:39:38:01
Lisa
Otherwise you cannot bring more into your world.

00:39:38:03 - 00:40:01:10
Adele
So cleaning up integrity is a huge one. So little things like for people listening, you know, if you've got in your car, you know, parking tickets like they're bright yellow these days, it's like you've shoved them in your glove compartment. And even though maybe that's only $100, but it's it's what it's telling the universe is you don't value the the clean channel.

00:40:01:17 - 00:40:03:21
Adele
It's like you're kicking your hose.

00:40:03:23 - 00:40:04:08
Lisa
Yeah.

00:40:04:10 - 00:40:25:24
Adele
So or, you know, you haven't paid your visa bill indefinitely and you've got all this debt that's racking up, and then you have shame attached to your debt. So anytime you have shame attached to money, shame is the lowest vibrant vibratory emotion. And shame is going to collapse you. And it's it's again going to kink this whole. So all of these things kink the holes called abundance.

00:40:25:24 - 00:40:50:16
Adele
Like I say that you're the vessel so you're a vessel and every I would have integrity every bill and paid every shame. Everything it kinks you you know. So you're you're you're spitting out like a little bit rather than being like, I'm this vessel through which the universe is moving through me. And if my vessel is clean and clear and in integrity, and then I'm going to have an easy time manifesting, if not, it's going to be very difficult.

00:40:50:19 - 00:41:12:15
Adele
So that's that's one thing around that. The thing about holding that the ability to hold. So I want to talk about that. So, so many people have it. It's easy for them to bring it in, kind of like what you were saying. But the minute so if this is you, I'm going to kind of share a couple different avatars here.

00:41:12:17 - 00:41:32:16
Adele
Avatar one it's not easy for you to bring in money at all. Okay. So what I would look at there is what beliefs do I have about money in general and where do I have shame associated with money. So it was really interesting. Today in one of my classes, one of the students was sharing. She just in today's class.

00:41:32:16 - 00:41:52:14
Adele
She's like, I just had a massive breakthrough because we've been talking about money. She's like, I grew up with a lot of money. And I just realized how much shame I had around being the kid that had money. So now she's convinced herself she doesn't need any more money. So she's blocking, she's blocking, she's blocking. So if you're not bringing it in your resisting.

00:41:52:14 - 00:42:16:02
Adele
There's there's a resistance, there's a block in the flow. And you have to discover what the block is. What's the pattern, what's the belief, what's the energetic pattern. What's the guilt that or shame that you have around it, etc.. But the second step, when people unblock that is okay. Avatar two. So they start to bring in money, but their nervous system, which is was your nervous system, was quite literally developed prior to the age of seven.

00:42:16:02 - 00:42:40:20
Adele
The same with your subconscious mind. Your nervous system does not have the feedback loop that it's safe to hold it. So what it will do is it'll unconsciously find this is going to sound really fucked up to people, but it's it's the truth. You know, you'll make this extra money, but all of a sudden you have these other bills to pay or the car breaks down, or the kids have to do this and it's not random.

00:42:40:20 - 00:43:10:06
Adele
It's you have a financial set point that you're comfortable with, and anything above that set point triggers not safe. And so your subconscious mind and your nervous system are expelling it. Think about like it's expelling it away from you because it wants to bring your thermostat. Basically, your set point is like a thermostat. Okay, I'm used to ten months, but now I brought in 20 k months and my my subconscious mind does not know what that means and it doesn't think I'm safe to hold it.

00:43:10:09 - 00:43:29:07
Adele
And in fact, for a lot of people, they feel like something bad will happen. If they do so, then they find ways to spend it. So that could be like Amazon shit that you don't need a bill that showed up. The government says you owe them taxes like it always feels random and it's not. And then so that's avatar two.

00:43:29:09 - 00:43:47:04
Adele
And so the work that we do at that point is and I have a lot of tools around this, but it's like training and rewiring your, your, your both your brain, your subconscious mind and your nervous system to feel safe, quite literally to hold it. So it's like repeating things like it is safe for me to receive abundance.

00:43:47:06 - 00:43:56:25
Adele
It is safe for me to hold this level of wealth like I am safe in the receiving. It's safe for me to be seen with this level of wealth, because that's another thing.

00:43:56:25 - 00:43:58:04
Lisa
For a lot of it is.

00:43:58:07 - 00:44:25:25
Adele
They're they're terrified of being judged and seen because, I mean, I could go on for days, you know, being seen was scary. Being seen meant abuse. Being seen meant you're judged, being seen someone who's going to take it from you, yada yada, yada yada. And this is all happening unconsciously. Like if most people when I take them through these layers, like over time, they're like, Holy fuck, how did I not see that about myself?

00:44:25:28 - 00:44:28:03
Adele
I'm like, because your subconscious mind doesn't want you to.

00:44:28:03 - 00:44:50:00
Lisa
So it's it's wild when you start to see it. Like, I remember when I was rewiring my brain to hold money, like, to a lap. I kind of put myself on a spending freeze, so to speak, because I'm like, we're just going to allow it to sit in your bank account. Yeah, you're going to see it and you're going to see what it looks like for that number to grow and to know that you're safe holding it.

00:44:50:03 - 00:45:11:01
Lisa
And one of the reasons that I dispelled money, which was I did like a ladder exercise. Right. And why are you doing you probably done this in coaching yet. And I realized that the reason I was repelling money was because if I had my own money, I wouldn't be loved, because that's how I felt loved. Right? Like one of my love languages is gifts and being taken care of.

00:45:11:01 - 00:45:24:28
Lisa
So I kind of had the Disney princess story, right? Like, if I have my own money, how am I ever going to be a Disney princess? Like, nobody's going to want to take care of me. I'm going to have to take care of myself. And I realized, well, that's stupid. I can have my own money and I can be loved and be taken care of.

00:45:24:28 - 00:45:26:16
Lisa
But it was a big like.

00:45:26:18 - 00:45:27:18
Adele
Yeah, I.

00:45:27:21 - 00:45:31:00
Lisa
Learned to pull really shifted a lot of things for me.

00:45:31:02 - 00:45:45:12
Adele
When you have that kind of unlock and you recognize that you're linking love to like, it's basically like I say to my clients, imagine I tell you, pickles and peanut butter is delicious.

00:45:45:15 - 00:45:46:13
Lisa
Right?

00:45:46:15 - 00:46:05:18
Adele
You'd be like, disgusting. Unless maybe I'm pregnant. But that's how you linked money and love money and safety because it was two. These are two things that never belong together. Meaning, I'm going to say thing that might rock the boat for people. But again, great money is not meant to keep you safe. It's not a tool for safety.

00:46:05:18 - 00:46:07:21
Adele
It's a tool to be circulated.

00:46:07:24 - 00:46:08:14
Lisa
Correct.

00:46:08:16 - 00:46:24:25
Adele
Technology. Yeah, exactly. But some but for a lot of people, they think they'll be safe when they have a certain amount of money. Money is not meant for. It's not a love. It's not a love language. It's nothing to do with love. It's a frequency of being of service and providing value on this planet. That's that's what money is.

00:46:24:25 - 00:46:55:19
Adele
It's a tool of value exchange and service. So people have collapsed. They've integrated money. Plus this equals this. And the equation doesn't make any sense. So. So for the holding part to your point, when you're working with someone and holding money to feel safe, it's exactly what you said. I have them go on a bit of a spending freeze, because there's a difference between the energy of making money, holding money, spending money and investing money.

00:46:55:22 - 00:47:13:12
Adele
So for example, if I'm in like a making money phase I'm just like like all the channels are open. Let's go make make make make money. Bring it in. Brilliant. And then let's say I'm in a holding phase okay. Now we're going to keep that money. We're going to we're going to hold that money. We're not going to be reinvesting in the business.

00:47:13:12 - 00:47:29:09
Adele
We want to hold the money. We want to feel safe and holding. And then it's like, okay, now we want to invest. So we're going to take 50% of that. We're going to reinvest it in the business, and then we're going to put 10% to start saving or whatever. The frequency of all of those decisions is very different.

00:47:29:11 - 00:47:42:21
Adele
But see, I didn't know any of this ten years ago. I was just like, I need to make more money. But that's not even the problem for a lot of people. The problem is they know how to make it. They don't know how to hold it.

00:47:42:23 - 00:47:46:10
Adele
And so if you don't know how to hold it, you're always going to have like a.

00:47:46:10 - 00:47:47:01
Lisa
Hole.

00:47:47:01 - 00:48:00:00
Adele
In your tire, like a Lego. What's it called? If you have a, a flat tire and you keep trying to repair the tire, but you're not actually plugging the hole, you just keep putting more air in the tire. That's exactly what people do with money.

00:48:00:03 - 00:48:02:17
Lisa
Yeah, there's always a leak. There's always 80.

00:48:02:25 - 00:48:21:08
Adele
Exactly. And so, I mean, I even saw it with Dave when we first got married, like, he would make all this money and then we'd be talking about something, and I'm like, where's the money go? He's like, I spent it. And like, you just. What do you mean? You just sold a condo and got a $200,000 commission check.

00:48:21:10 - 00:48:25:27
Adele
And he's like, and and so we got to if he didn't feel safe to hold it.

00:48:26:00 - 00:48:27:01
Lisa
Interesting.

00:48:27:03 - 00:48:46:01
Adele
And like, I'd have an Amazon package at my door every day. Not me. I don't buy. And he'd be buying a new pair of running shoes, like all these frivolous things. And I'm like, I remember sitting down and being like, what are you doing? And he and we sat and really talked about his like. And so then we went into like, okay, you're now your next check, like you're holding it.

00:48:46:03 - 00:48:58:16
Lisa
Yeah. I think a lot of people get into this belief that an abundant mindset is you just do what you want when you want, because that's abundance and that's that's can actually that's a that's a trap.

00:48:58:18 - 00:49:05:22
Adele
It's not I do what I want. So I want to distinguish. Thank you for saying that.

00:49:05:24 - 00:49:23:18
Adele
This is what I mean by mental masturbation with the laws okay. Yeah. And like people want to take the best of the things that they're hearing and they don't want to do the hard stuff. So for example, when I'm teaching someone the law of cause and effect, like you are the cause, okay? You're the cause. You are the creator.

00:49:23:18 - 00:49:43:04
Adele
You want to make more money. What's the cause of making money sales? You have to make more sales. That's how money comes in, period. And then I say, okay, but you have to decide. You have to spend the money in order to make the money. So they like that, but they don't like the fact that they also have to be responsible for making sales.

00:49:43:06 - 00:49:51:23
Lisa
I mean, we could go on and on about this, right? Because people want to get caught in the like, I'm just going to I'm going to focus on the being. I'm like, you don't have to go do the doing.

00:49:52:00 - 00:49:57:11
Adele
You have to do, but you have to be conscious of who you're being when you're doing it.

00:49:57:14 - 00:50:18:09
Lisa
Correct. It's the energy has to match the aligned action. You create the results that you want, and people get stuck in one or the other. And learning how to master both takes practice. And I think that this is where a lot of people don't understand. This work is the amount of times you have to go up to bat.

00:50:18:11 - 00:50:36:10
Lisa
You know, it's repetitions, repetition, repetition, repetition, over, over, over, relentlessly practicing these things until you become embodied in them. Which is really like, I think, something that we should talk about a little bit because we're talking about integrity.

00:50:36:12 - 00:50:36:27
Adele
Yes.

00:50:36:28 - 00:50:38:21
Lisa
And you and I, and I think I knew you.

00:50:38:21 - 00:50:39:02
Adele
Were going to.

00:50:39:02 - 00:51:06:10
Lisa
Go here. You know, integrity is a one of my highest values thing is one of your highest values. And I have to remind myself, I'm not actually the integrity police. My integrity to myself is important. Working with other people who, have been value. Integrity is important. So it gets thrown around online a lot. And I know from my perspective we're not going to throw anybody under the bus, but I see a lot of people working out of integrity.

00:51:06:10 - 00:51:25:27
Lisa
They're not actually living the work they're talking. The words are coming out, but they're not fully embodied. And I'm not saying that I'm 100% in integrity all the time, nor are you. It's not possible. We're human, but the commitment to always come back to being in integrity with my work is so, so important to me. Because how can I lead others if I'm not?

00:51:25:27 - 00:51:34:19
Lisa
So what does what does integrity actually mean to you now versus maybe how you defined it in the in the past IRL?

00:51:34:19 - 00:51:43:03
Adele
I mean, I feel like we could talk. This is like this is everything.

00:51:43:06 - 00:51:44:29
Lisa
We're going to collect my thoughts.

00:51:45:02 - 00:51:51:17
Lisa
We're going to have to do a three part series. I'm happy. We're going to have to come back and have a, have a, have a deeper conversation on all that.

00:51:51:17 - 00:52:22:07
Adele
I'm happy to. So let me just kind of let me let me brief on this. So this is something I've been thinking about a lot and actually a big part and I think I share this with you of why I created the certification program that I have is because I believe part of my purpose is to properly train other coaches in my methodology so that there is integrity across the board in the coaching space, meaning you can't do a three day seminar and call yourself.

00:52:22:07 - 00:52:43:24
Adele
You shouldn't be able to do a three day seminar and call yourself a coach. So, for example, in the way that I lead the certification, it's six months and they're going through their own deep shadow work. First they have to go through the tools themselves before they teach them. So back to integrity. So I have riffed on the internet and you've heard me say this over and over again.

00:52:43:27 - 00:53:24:27
Adele
There is so much fucking bullshit out there. And what I mean by that is there is a complete lack of embodiment and alignment and integrity from what people are saying and how they are living, and that is creating so much dissonance, friction, lack of trust. It's, it's it's really eroding the trust in I think the, an industry that is so important and I, I haven't much faith in the coaching industry, like I actually was reading a statistic recently where, I mean, I think it's a $7 billion industry now, but in the next five years it's going to 12 billion with like I think with I and so much uncertainty in and like, you know,

00:53:25:01 - 00:53:54:02
Adele
careers and professions like a lot of people are recognizing the power of creating your own economy. So I have a lot of faith. That being said, I think we're in a clean out phase. How I've seen it is everybody that has needed to be cleaned out is getting absolutely fucking cleaned out through the wringer, so that the people like you and me and the various others who are doing this because for the right reasons, meaning I would be doing this no matter what.

00:53:54:02 - 00:54:17:15
Adele
Like it's not this or something else. There is no something else. This is my God given purpose. I'm doing it on hard days. I'm doing it on great days. I'm doing it on awful days. I've done it through five years of court battle. I have not proven that this is my path and I'm here to stay. And I think that what's happening is there's a reckoning in that, because consciousness is raising so rapidly.

00:54:17:17 - 00:54:41:05
Adele
People are becoming allergic to the lies. So they're feeling like this person is so full of shit, they're not living their work. And again, integrity to me used to be morality right and wrong. It's not. Integrity is like thinking about the spokes of a wheel. Like they all have to be working in unison, in alignment. Like I have to be whole in what I'm doing.

00:54:41:05 - 00:55:04:19
Adele
I have to be embodied. I have to be living and breathing and speaking the truth that I'm that I'm teaching. And that doesn't mean that I have to be in integrity everywhere in my life. Meaning, this is the distinction. I think if I'm teaching money, let's say I'm calling myself a money coach or whatever, but I am broke.

00:55:04:21 - 00:55:29:05
Adele
I have a terrible relationship to money, but somehow I feel I can be teaching money that's out of integrity. But let's say I'm a money coach and I'm all in alignment there. But my relationship is struggling. That's okay, because I'm human. I don't need to be perfect across the board, but it's when I see relationship coaches who are cheating on their partners, and I see money coaches who are literally teaching success, but they're broke.

00:55:29:12 - 00:55:34:02
Adele
That is the biggest out of integrity. Yeah. And so, yeah, go ahead.

00:55:34:06 - 00:55:38:09
Lisa
I was going to say business coaches who've never actually built a successful business.

00:55:38:11 - 00:55:57:18
Adele
Exactly. So for me integrity is is twofold. One, it's the integrity I have with myself. So am I. Am I honoring my word as law? So when I say I'm going to do something, am I showing up for that to the best of my ability and to others? It's again, my word is law. If I say that you and I are going to do this thing, we are going to do this thing.

00:55:57:18 - 00:56:15:28
Adele
And if we need to reschedule, that's okay. That's an integrity because we are communicating that need to shift the time around. But I'm not ghosting. I'm not completely fucking off on the on the commitments. I am honoring my word because my word is lost. The only thing I have on this planet, it's absolutely, unequivocally the most important thing that I have.

00:56:16:01 - 00:56:29:16
Adele
So what's happening is there's out of integrity, meaning like, people are not, living their work, but they're also have shitty relationship to their word. Their word means nothing. They're like, oh, yeah, we'll do this thing. And then they they don't.

00:56:29:18 - 00:56:51:12
Lisa
It's so fascinating to me because I talk a lot about, self integrity. And what most people are quite good at is being in integrity with other people, of course. And they're they the concept of self integrity, keeping promises to themselves is nil. That's at the bottom of their list. And it's like that for me. It's such a an important driver.

00:56:51:12 - 00:56:59:25
Lisa
Like it doesn't matter if I, if I keep promises to you, if I'm constantly abandoning myself in the process, what does that say about my relationship with myself?

00:57:00:00 - 00:57:13:28
Adele
Right. Incorrect. But the reason why it's easier for people to keep integrity with others is because it's coming from people pleasing, and then you get to feel attached to other people and not feeling abandoned. So it's actually not integrity, it's wounding.

00:57:14:01 - 00:57:15:01
Lisa
Yeah.

00:57:15:03 - 00:57:32:25
Adele
So integrity, that's what I mean. Like we're collapsing like, oh I'm people pleasing my way to try to get my needs met. But that's not integrity because if you. And so that's why for me integrity it. You're right. It starts here. If I'm dishonoring myself, there is no way I can be integrity with anyone else.

00:57:32:27 - 00:57:54:09
Lisa
No. Such a fascinating topic. So how do you how do you personally stay in integrity now? Because I know, you know, you and I, although we I don't know everything that you've gone through. You don't know everything that I've gone through. But I do know that one of my most proud moments was in 2023, when my life unraveled and I was like, wow, you are really like Lisa.

00:57:54:09 - 00:58:15:28
Lisa
Like you are really living in integrity with your work. Like the what you coach is, you are literally walking through right now and holding that line. And that was really important for me to do and be human through it. Right? It was it was a very hard time in my life. How do you stay in integrity now as your platform continues to grow and as your influences continue to grow?

00:58:16:01 - 00:58:20:20
Lisa
What are your checks and balances? Adele.

00:58:20:23 - 00:59:01:13
Adele
I honestly think that I have embodied I'm at a place where, the the truth lives through me. Meaning like, I, it's kind of like when I was first becoming this person and on my journey of identity ascension to get to this place, it was like I would I'll give you some examples, like 20, 20. I remember, Dave and I were pregnant and I had a miscarriage, and it was during Covid lockdown, my 40th birthday, and and I was, I was pregnant, but like at ten weeks, there was no heartbeat and my body was not miscarrying on its own.

00:59:01:13 - 00:59:22:23
Adele
So I had to go get a DNC. And I remember sitting in the waiting room and I remember hearing my, my mentor Sabrina, she said she was saying to me, everything's happening for your highest and best good. And I was sitting there repeating as a mantra right before going into the surgery, everything's happening from my highest and best good I did.

00:59:22:23 - 00:59:42:00
Adele
I chose not to be a victim in that moment and see the truth. And I can tell you tales of this, like then going through court with my son's dad and, you know, having to relocate because of our safety and having to press charges because he was threatening to kill me and having to move around because of the advice of the Toronto police, like all these things were happening.

00:59:42:03 - 01:00:01:17
Adele
And every time they were happening, I was repeating, everything is happening for my highest and best good. You know, like quite literally, it was my mantra is like, there is a bigger picture here. This is all unfolding in perfect, divine, orchestrated things. I was doing the work. I was re parenting myself. I was getting support from therapists. I was getting support from coaches.

01:00:01:19 - 01:00:28:26
Adele
I was staying in full alignment with the work. And I think as a result of that many things, one, I got the outcome that literally was impossible in most people's eyes. Like went to court in 2025, final trial, two weeks in trial, one full custody of Eylea like it was the culmination of five years of being the work, being the work, B being the work under the most extreme fucking circumstances.

01:00:28:28 - 01:00:51:08
Adele
Like there were days and I went through PTSD in 2023. I was not okay. I had I went away for a month and got, you know, really intensive help. And even through that, I still showed up to the best of my ability. I honored my humanity. I was like, k guys, I stepped away from my business for two months and I said, team, clients, I love you.

01:00:51:08 - 01:01:03:15
Adele
I'm not okay. I need to take care of myself. That's the highest integrity came back stronger. So this version of me now is so embodied. Like I don't have to be like, it's happening for Harris. And that's good. It's like, I know it's you know it.

01:01:03:21 - 01:01:03:26
Lisa
Yeah.

01:01:04:00 - 01:01:13:26
Adele
It's like. It's like. It's like saying the sky is blue and the sun is going to come up tomorrow. And I think to your point, repetition is the master teacher. Yeah.

01:01:13:28 - 01:01:35:09
Lisa
I feel that so deeply in my body because all our journeys have been very different. Yeah, that is so similar. And you're just a different person on the other side when you've really lived that. I mean, I took all of 2024 and was like, okay, let's do our best to keep the ship afloat. But this is this is what's going to happen for me this year.

01:01:35:11 - 01:01:53:28
Lisa
That's what it's going to look like. I'm going to live my work. Everything's going to be fine. Everything's going to work out. And it has in ways that I would have never expected it to. But we're not supposed to know. We're not supposed to know how. Right. Okay. I want to be mindful of your time because I know, I know, you've got date night with your hubby tonight.

01:01:53:28 - 01:02:08:26
Lisa
So what I want, I got so many things I want to ask you about, so I have to do this again. But what I want to end with. And then I want you to talk about your identity Ascension model. And I think you've got a masterclass coming up to us. And I want you to tell all the people about that.

01:02:08:29 - 01:02:09:12
Adele
Okay.

01:02:09:14 - 01:02:19:28
Lisa
How would you define success today versus the version of success you were chasing years ago?

01:02:20:01 - 01:02:43:25
Adele
Oh. That makes me want to cry for some reason. I think I know I think the chasing of success was trying to get my mother's love to be honest, and approval and validation that I didn't fuck up my life because she wanted me to be a dentist and take over her practice. And I, you know, I was on, on the road to becoming a dentist or a doctor or whatever.

01:02:43:25 - 01:03:23:17
Adele
And, I pivoted and I followed my, my intuition. And I think of my initial version of success was, don't be a fuck up, basically, like, prove everybody wrong and and sell them. The money came at the expense of my soul, right? Like I shared in that past iteration of my business, my version of success now is do what I love, with whom I love, when I want, how I want it on my terms, and be radically compensated for the value that I bring into this planet.

01:03:23:20 - 01:03:44:12
Adele
Like it's completely different, but it means I start my day and I don't start work till 11 a.m. most days, and I work till 2 or 3. Like this is rare that I'm working at this time, but it's like you, so of course, but I work three hours a day, like, and I'm doing stuff that I'm in love with, with people that I love.

01:03:44:12 - 01:04:05:05
Adele
I say no to people that I don't want to work with. I turned down more money than I accept sometimes. You know, I'm at the gym every morning. I'm doing my parties and doing my yoga. I'm training with my trainer, I'm hiking the mountain. I'm spending time with my family like I'm living in alignment with my values. And I think that's true success for me right now.

01:04:05:07 - 01:04:21:06
Lisa
I concur. Well, this is amazing having you on. Like I said, we could talk forever, so we'll come back and do more. Yeah, I got so many more questions I just love I knew that you and I would have a very deep and rich conversation. You're one of my favorite people, so I was so happy to have you.

01:04:21:08 - 01:04:29:26
Lisa
Come on. So thanks so much for coming on. Tell me tell everybody a little bit about your identity Ascension model, the masterclass you're running and where that you connect with you.

01:04:29:26 - 01:04:53:08
Adele
Adele okay, so first of all, I love you. Thank you so much. This has been. Yeah. So rich. And, it means a lot to me. So next Wednesday on May 20th, I'm hosting a free masterclass. And it's all about breaking through your financial set point. And if you loved what we were talking about today, it is a sliver of what we will cover next week.

01:04:53:11 - 01:05:00:19
Adele
And so we can link that up for the people. And my Instagram is the best way to find me. So we can link that up for the people as well.

01:05:00:21 - 01:05:01:06
Lisa
Amazing.

01:05:01:06 - 01:05:26:29
Adele
And really, the masterclass is a taster of, as I was mentioning, my certification program, which is called the Identity Ascension Method and it is a six month incubator to truly transform you from the inside out and also train you to do this work with other people if you so choose. So it's kind of like a personal growth and development journey at the deepest core level.

01:05:27:02 - 01:05:48:02
Adele
And then if you so choose to bring this work into your life, your practice, this is great for other coaches. I have a lot of natural paths in my community. Physicians, dentists, like people who are seeing that we need to go beneath the surface with people in any in any endeavor. And so the first cohort is running right now, and we have about 40 women in there, and it's been six weeks.

01:05:48:02 - 01:06:06:19
Adele
And like, honestly, the level of transformation people are like, this is like 25 years of therapy in six weeks, like it is wild how much we're compressing time. And so I'm so the masterclass in the 20th is giving people a taste of the second cohort that's going to be running. And that's my last and final cohort of this year.

01:06:06:21 - 01:06:19:17
Adele
And so we'll link up all the things to come to the free masterclass. There's no pressure. Even if you just come to that 90 minutes you're going to get so much value. And then if you want to learn more about the certification, I'll be sharing more about that at the end of the masterclass.

01:06:19:17 - 01:06:22:15
Lisa
So I think, I think I told you I was on your last masterclass.

01:06:22:20 - 01:06:25:07
Adele
I remember you were on the big show, Holly.

01:06:25:10 - 01:06:45:01
Lisa
I was on the beach, but you were doing a future self meditation and I'm like, I'm literally living the dream that I had for myself one day. It was really, really powerful to be in it. As you were walking me through it, I was like, this is wild, because once upon a time this was my dream. And now and now here I am.

01:06:45:03 - 01:06:57:22
Lisa
So thank you so much, Adele, for coming on. Have such a beautiful day at night with your heavy and joy. And, thank you for everything you've shared. I know it's going to land so powerfully with my audience, so we will talk soon.

01:06:57:25 - 01:06:58:24
Adele
Okay, let's allow it.

01:06:58:24 - 01:06:59:07
Lisa
Good care.

01:06:59:07 - 01:07:00:13
Adele
Hi,

01:07:00:16 - 01:07:22:03
Lisa
And that was Adele Tamblyn. And I told you we were going to go deep. So something in this conversation landed in your body. If you recognize yourself in the gap between the success you've built and the way it actually feels to live inside of it. Do not let that recognition pass you by. Because that feeling is information. It is your life telling you the truth about where you actually are.

01:07:22:05 - 01:07:44:20
Lisa
And the worst thing you can do with it is talk yourself out of taking that seriously. So Adele is hosting a free masterclasses Wednesday, May 20th called Recoded Shatter Your Financial Set Point. So anything she said about wanting versus having or about the safety to actually hold wealth hits something true for you. This is where you're going to want to go next.

01:07:44:26 - 01:07:59:24
Lisa
So the link to register along with her website and all her social handles are in the show notes. So until next week, make sure you head over there, Register for that masterclass and I will catch you on the next episode of Kangaroo It. Thanks for being here.