Why can’t you stop the behaviors you hate, even though you know better?
You’re successful, capable, the one everyone counts on, and yet there are these behaviors you cannot seem to stop. The snapping at your partner. The numbing with wine and scrolling at the end of long days. The over-functioning that leaves you exhausted and resentful. The dread on Sunday nights. The numbness after a win. You’ve tried discipline, accountability, productivity hacks, maybe even therapy, and the behaviors keep showing up. In this episode of Congruent, Lisa Carpenter explains the actual reason these patterns will not stop, and it has very little to do with the behavior itself.
What’s really driving the behaviors you can’t change?
After more than two decades of working with high-achieving men and women, Lisa has identified the pattern underneath the patterns. At some point in your life, somebody told you, directly or indirectly, that your feelings did not matter. You probably do not remember the specific moment because it has been buried under everything you have built since then: the career, the achievements, the version of yourself who handles everything, who does not ask for much, who takes care of everybody else. But underneath all of it is a five, eight, or ten year old who learned that what you were feeling did not get to take up space. And this is impacting how you are showing up as an adult today.
Three reasons you learned your feelings did not matter
In this episode, Lisa walks through the three specific ways this message got installed, and not one of them is because there is something wrong with you. The adults around you were overwhelmed and running on empty, so they did not have the capacity to hold your big feelings on top of their own. Your feelings were inconvenient to the system, so you got praised for being “the easy one,” “the mature one,” “the one who never asks for anything,” and your little brain heard those compliments as a treat for good behavior. And underneath both of those, the deepest reason of all: your parents were never taught how to be with their own emotions, so they could not teach you. You cannot teach someone Spanish if you do not speak Spanish.
Why this is not just a story about your childhood
This is where most people check out. They hear “childhood” and assume it does not apply to their life now. Lisa addresses this head on. When you learned your feelings did not matter, you did not stop having feelings, you stopped letting yourself feel them. They went underground. And feelings that go underground do not disappear, they find a different way out. They turn into the exhaustion you cannot shake, the way you snap at your partner and then hate yourself for it, the Sunday night dread, the numbness after a win, the over-functioning, the control, the passive aggressiveness, the achievement that never lands. They become the drinking, the spending, the eating, the scrolling, the overworking. You think you have a productivity problem, a relationship problem, or a discipline problem. You have a feelings problem.
What we talk about in this episode
- Why the behaviors you hate are symptoms, not the problem. The yelling, the numbing, the over-functioning, the achievement that never feels like enough — these are not character flaws or discipline issues. They are what a lifetime of unfelt feelings looks like when it finally finds a way out.
- The three specific ways you learned your feelings did not matter. Lisa walks through each one with the kind of specificity that makes you recognize yourself: the overwhelmed adults who could not hold your feelings, the family system that rewarded you for not having them, and the generational gap that meant nobody had the language to teach you something they were never taught themselves.
- Why “I was the easy one” is not a compliment, it is a coping mechanism. If you grew up being praised for being mature, low maintenance, easy, the one who never needed much, this section is going to land. You did not learn that you were enough. You learned that being undemanding kept you safe.
- The difference between a behavior problem and an identity problem. Most personal development tries to change the behavior. Lisa explains why that approach keeps you exhausted and stuck, and what actually shifts when you go underneath the behavior to the part of your identity that was never allowed to feel.
- How shame runs the show even when you swear you don’t feel it. Lisa shares the moment a client said “I don’t feel shame,” and how her behavior told a completely different story. If you are running the pattern of “I am not enough” without realizing it, your behavior is going to keep showing you.
- The Success Paradox archetypes and why they form. The Machine, the Prover, the Polisher, and the Giver are not personality quirks. They are the identities you built on top of a child who learned her feelings did not get to take up space. Lisa names how each archetype keeps you successful on the outside and disconnected on the inside.
- What changes when you stop chasing the behavior and start meeting the feeling. Lisa shares her own journey from living entirely in her head to actually being connected to what is happening in her body, and what it takes to shift these patterns generationally, even with adult children.
This episode is for you if you’ve ever
- Hated a behavior in yourself and cannot stop it no matter how much willpower you bring to it
- Snapped at your partner or your kids after a long day and then spent the night drowning in guilt
- Felt completely numb after a win that was supposed to mean something
- Found yourself reaching for the wine, the food, the phone, the work, because being still feels unbearable
- Been told your whole life that you are the strong one, the easy one, the one who handles it
- Built an impressive life on the outside while quietly carrying exhaustion, resentment, and an itch you cannot scratch
- Wondered why nothing ever feels like enough no matter how much you achieve
- Tried to change the behavior a hundred different ways and ended up right back where you started
- Felt the Sunday night dread and could not explain it because nothing is technically wrong
- Said “that is just who I am” about a pattern that is actually costing you everything
How to actually change the behaviors you cannot stop
The work is not on the behavior, it is on the identity underneath it. Until you give yourself permission to acknowledge and feel the feelings you learned were inconvenient, your behaviors will keep doing what feelings do when they have nowhere to go: they will leak out sideways, in the snapping, the numbing, the overworking, the over-functioning, the achievement that never lands. You do not have a discipline problem. You have a lifetime of stuffed-down feelings showing up in every part of your life that is not working.
This is exactly what Lisa works on inside the Success Paradox framework. Once you can see which archetype you have built your identity around, the Machine, the Prover, the Polisher, or the Giver, you can finally start to understand why your behaviors are doing what they are doing and what it is actually going to take to change them from the inside out.
Ready to find out which archetype is running your life?
If this episode hit you in the gut, the next step is the Success Paradox Quiz. It is about 18 questions and takes four to five minutes, and it will show you the top two archetypes that have the strongest grip on your identity right now. Take it at lisacarpenter.ca/quiz.
If you already know you are done living this way and you want to do the deep identity work that actually shifts the patterns underneath your behaviors, book a Congruency Audit. This is where we look at the gap between the success you have built on the outside and what you are actually feeling on the inside. We will identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in the behaviors you hate, the shame and the not-enoughness running the show underneath them, and what it is going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
Take the quiz first so we have your results to guide the conversation, then book your Congruency Audit at lisacarpenter.ca/audit.
Connect with Lisa
Website: lisacarpenter.ca
Instagram: @lisacarpenterinc
Podcast: Congruent
Success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
00:00:06:29 - 00:00:33:12
Lisa
You built success that looks damn good on the outside, but inside it's costing you your health, your relationships, your energy. And no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough. Welcome to Congruent. I'm Lisa Carpenter, the coach. High performers call when they can afford to burn it all down, but they can't keep living like this either.
00:00:33:14 - 00:00:58:24
Lisa
Here we rip off the mask of success and expose what's real. The patterns that you keep running, the price that you've paid, and how to build success that fuels you instead of empties you. Real success is agency. It's powerful self leadership to run your life instead of being run by it. To let your drive and your well-being finally work together.
00:00:58:27 - 00:01:08:22
Lisa
Because the real win is success. That actually feels good.
00:01:08:25 - 00:01:42:26
Lisa
Hey, hey, and thanks for joining me on this week's episode of congruent. And today we are talking about the real reason you can't stop the behaviors you hate. And it's it's not going to be what you think it is. Because I don't think many people are talking about it in the way that I talk about it. So after more than two decades of working with high achieving men and women and being deep in my own work, I've had my own transformational journey, from living in my head to actually being connected to what's going in my body.
00:01:42:28 - 00:02:07:23
Lisa
This is going to be a really, really powerful episode. And I'm going to start with this because at some point in your life, somebody told you that your feelings didn't matter. Maybe they told you directly. Maybe they just responded as though they didn't matter. But either way, little you got the message and you've been carrying that message your entire life.
00:02:07:26 - 00:02:32:24
Lisa
But you probably don't think about it that way because you don't remember the specific moment, because there they've been buried under everything you've built since then your career, your achievements, the version of yourself that handles all the things and that doesn't ask for much, and who often takes care of everybody else. You probably are the person that many people count on.
00:02:32:24 - 00:03:01:01
Lisa
If you're anything like my clients, and you probably are if you're listening to this podcast, you are the one that is highly responsible. People depend on you. But somewhere underneath all of that, there is a five year old, an eight year old, a ten year old who learned that what you're feeling doesn't get to take up space. And this is impacting how you're showing up as an adult today, and this episode is going to walk you through that.
00:03:01:04 - 00:03:25:28
Lisa
I'm going to talk about three specific reasons of what happened when you picked up that message that your feelings didn't matter, and none of them are going to be what you think. None of them are, because there is something wrong with you. And I'm going to tell you why this still matters today. Because if you think this is a story about your childhood and you're like, oh, Lisa, that doesn't that doesn't impact me now.
00:03:25:28 - 00:03:46:08
Lisa
Like that's irrelevant to to where I am now in my life. You're missing the point because this actually is about your life right now. This is about the behaviors that you can't stop, the reactions that you have in your life that you don't understand, and the dread that you can't explain. All of it is going to trace back to here.
00:03:46:15 - 00:04:06:15
Lisa
So let's get into it. So the first reason is the most common. And it's the easiest one to recognize once you see it. But if you look back in your life, you'll probably find that the adults around you were often overwhelmed. I mean, look at adults in our lives now. Most of us are running around feeling overwhelmed.
00:04:06:17 - 00:04:29:21
Lisa
So when everybody is running on empty and they're dealing with their own stuff, they were focused on making sure that they did not fall apart. So they really didn't have the capacity to deal with your little emotions because they had bigger fish to fry. So when you brought any type of big feelings to them, they didn't have anywhere to put it.
00:04:29:23 - 00:04:50:16
Lisa
They couldn't hold your feelings because they couldn't hold their own. Now, I'm, a Gen Xer. We grew up in the feral years where we were just, you know, left to fend for ourselves. Our parents all loved us. We're not throwing our parents under the bus. But if your parents are anything like mine, we didn't talk about emotions.
00:04:50:19 - 00:05:11:02
Lisa
That that was not part of the vocabulary. We were to be seen and not heard. We were to do what we were told. We were to stay out of the way. And, you know, we didn't get to have a voice. Maybe that wasn't true for you and your family, but I know it was true in mine. Or at least that was my interpretation.
00:05:11:04 - 00:05:35:17
Lisa
And that was the interpretation of many of the clients that I worked with. Like, we were part of our parents world, but we were not invited in to the conversation. So yeah, yeah. If you came to your parents and you were upset about something, they didn't have the language to meet you where they were at because they were never taught the language of emotions.
00:05:35:19 - 00:05:56:26
Lisa
So, you know, this was a generation that just put their head down and worked through things. Right? We didn't feel things. We just like, just go get it done. So if you were upset, your mom gave you like a minute, like, okay, like tell me what's going on. And then it was kind of like, well, you know, maybe you need to go to your room and just be with this.
00:05:56:28 - 00:06:22:28
Lisa
And that was it. There was no discussion. Maybe you got a hug, but then it was like, okay, you know, maybe I'll give you something to cry about, or I need you to pull up your big, big boy pants, right? This isn't a big deal. Stop making it a big deal. Stop making it all about you. You know, I remember some very specific times where I was always a deep feeler as a young child.
00:06:23:01 - 00:06:43:29
Lisa
And there were times where I would go to my mom or dad about things, and they did their best. They did their best, but I felt dismissed. I felt like they didn't understand what I was trying to communicate to them or how I was feeling. And it was kind of that unconscious message of like, I just need you to stop this, Lisa.
00:06:44:01 - 00:07:07:05
Lisa
So it felt like they were saying my feelings didn't matter, but what they were actually saying was, I don't have the capacity for this, you know? I know even now, my kids come to me with so many different things, and being with them in their feelings has taken me a tremendous amount of work on myself to be able to hold space for my own feelings while holding space for theirs.
00:07:07:07 - 00:07:28:27
Lisa
And if you can't hold space for your own feelings, if you can't navigate your own feelings, you certainly can't navigate somebody else's feelings. And I've done an episode on this in the past called Don't Pass the Kleenex, which is, you know, when we pass that Kleenex box, what we're trying to do is shift them out of that emotional state, not because we want to make them feel better, necessarily, but because unconsciously we need to make ourselves feel better.
00:07:28:27 - 00:07:54:05
Lisa
We don't know what to do with that. So I want you to know that it wasn't about you. It was about everything that they were already carrying. However, it did impact you and it is still impacting you today, even if you don't think that it is. So that was the that's the first reason. The second reason is a little bit harder to see because it didn't really sound like dismissal.
00:07:54:08 - 00:08:19:19
Lisa
It actually sounded like praise. So I want you to pay attention to what happens in your body when when I talk through this, because I think you already know, but your feelings were inconvenient to the system. So let me tell you what I mean about that. Maybe your family held it together because everybody knew their role there was the capable one, the easy one, the one who didn't need much.
00:08:19:21 - 00:08:43:07
Lisa
And if you brought your messy emotions into that, you would have disrupted the balance. So perhaps in your family, you got praised for managing your emotions, for not having them. I have one client who I very specifically remember the conversation. She was telling me that her sister was always like the needy one was always like the troublemaker and up to, you know, not necessarily up to no good.
00:08:43:07 - 00:09:05:01
Lisa
But she put a lot of emotional demands on her parents. So my client learned, I need to just be the easy one, because if I'm the easy one, I'm going to get left alone. And I don't want to be part of of what's going on between them. So she modified her behavior. She pushed her feelings down because she's like, God, I don't I just I don't want to be that burden on my parents.
00:09:05:01 - 00:09:24:16
Lisa
Like, they've already got my sister who's taking up all this time and energy. She didn't like seeing the dynamics between her sister and her parents, so she just learned to adapt her feelings, not have them to keep the peace. So. And then she would get praised for it. Right? You're so mature. You're so easy. Look at you. You don't ask for anything.
00:09:24:16 - 00:09:48:05
Lisa
I never have to worry about you. And our little brains hear those as compliments. It's like we've just been given a treat, like a dog for good behavior. And that gets embedded into our identity, right? Like if I just. If I don't feel if I'm the good girl or the good boy, if I'm the easy one, I'm going to get praised and I'm going to get more of what I want.
00:09:48:08 - 00:10:17:02
Lisa
So you learn how to filter before you speak. You know, you learned very early on what feelings were okay and which feelings would make everything in your family worse. So nobody had to tell you your feelings didn't matter. You figured it out by how the system responded to your feelings and the feelings of other people around you, and you adapted.
00:10:17:05 - 00:10:42:00
Lisa
So those are the first two. Now, the third reason, is kind of the one that explains everything. And and it's the one that I really want you to consider. And I touched on this already. But this is the reason that is really underneath the other two. So stay with me. Here are our parents. Really? Really. I want you to really, really get this.
00:10:42:00 - 00:11:06:20
Lisa
They did not have the language or tools. So the adults around you were never taught how to handle their own emotions. Their parents shut them down. So when I think about my parents and then their parents, so my parents, parents of some awful my parents parents were of the wartime era, right. World War two. There was we were talking about feelings there.
00:11:06:20 - 00:11:23:13
Lisa
Everybody just trying to stay alive. Like the world was really in a lot of trans transition. So their parents shut me down, shut them down. And, I mean, I remember my father telling me a story when he was just a little boy. I hope he doesn't mind me telling this on air. I don't think my dad listens to my podcast.
00:11:23:13 - 00:11:43:05
Lisa
But when he was just a little boy, they had they lived on, you know, as most people did, they had a farm. It was, you know, everybody had to do chores and do their thing. And they had a bunch of cats that lived in the barn that had picked up distemper, which is it's not it's not good.
00:11:43:08 - 00:12:05:17
Lisa
And I think my dad was only about 8 or 9 years old. So you think about how little he was. And my grandfather, before he went to work, said, when I come home, I need all those cats to be dead. Let that just land for you for a minute. Because when I heard that man, it really hit me in the heart when I thought about it was such a different time.
00:12:05:20 - 00:12:29:23
Lisa
Like, I need you to go kill the cats. And how that would have landed. Now, I can't interpret. I can't interpret how it landed for my father because, you know, it was a different time, a different place. But I imagine that that must have been incredibly hard for a child to do, because, I mean, I think it's just, humanity that we we love animals.
00:12:29:23 - 00:12:54:22
Lisa
So if you're listening to this and you're like, oh my God, you know, but feelings didn't matter. Like when your parents told you to do something, you didn't. You didn't talk back, you didn't question. You just did what you were told to do. Their parents. So our parents parents shut them down. So our parents learned like they didn't learn emotional fluency.
00:12:54:24 - 00:13:20:01
Lisa
They didn't grow up in an era where they had a voice, so they certainly weren't ready to give us a voice. So when you came to them with your feelings, your problems that you didn't know what to do with, they also didn't know what to do with them. They would tell you to stop crying because they didn't know how to teach you how to be with your emotions, because they didn't know how to be with theirs.
00:13:20:01 - 00:13:41:12
Lisa
Nobody taught them. So this is a generational thing, and this is why I'm so passionate about this work that I do around really shifting your internal identity because it's so transforms your life and the lives of the people around you. And I see this in my children. So I thought, oh my God, you know, like, I really didn't start this work, like deep work.
00:13:41:12 - 00:14:17:02
Lisa
I've been I've been in the coaching space for well over two decades. My deep come to Jesus moment was over God 14 years ago now. And that's when I really started going, oh my God, who I think I am is not really who I am. And I've already got ten years of parenting under my belt. I've already screwed up my kids, but now I'm watching them as adults, and because of the conversations I can have with them as adults, it's shifting how they're showing up in the world, how they're taking responsibility for themselves so we can shift these kind of generational patterns even if our kids are older, providing that we're willing to shift those
00:14:17:02 - 00:14:27:25
Lisa
internal internal states within ourselves. So I come to a new identity within within ourselves. So.
00:14:27:28 - 00:14:50:25
Lisa
You know, you can probably see the patterns if you stop long enough, you can see the patterns in your parents that that they taught you, whether it was, you know, being passive aggressive or withdrawing. You know, maybe your dad would disappear into the garage to just go work on staff, or your mom would get busy in the kitchen or doing cleaning or whatever it was.
00:14:50:28 - 00:15:16:26
Lisa
So if something happened in their lives, if you really look back, you'll probably see that they always shut down. So because they shut down, they taught you how to shut down because they didn't know how to be with their own feelings. They couldn't teach you how to be with yours. Like if you if you don't know how to spell, you can't teach someone else how to spell, right?
00:15:16:28 - 00:15:48:13
Lisa
I don't know Spanish, so I can't teach somebody else Spanish. Your parents didn't have the language of emotion, nor did they have the tools or the resources to know how to be with it. So they learned coping mechanisms that they carried forward drinking, shopping. Now we got social media, drugs, sex, like TV, watching porn. I mean, there's a gazillion ways that our parents learned how to cope with not feeling their feelings.
00:15:48:15 - 00:16:12:01
Lisa
But you took all of this and you internalized it for yourself. So we're not making I'm not making excuses for our parents. I think every generation wants to do better, but we don't know what we don't know. What I'm trying to give you is context. So the way they responded to you and your feelings was never about you.
00:16:12:03 - 00:16:38:04
Lisa
It was it was always about them and where they were working from because they didn't have another frame. But now, as you're listening to this with me, I'm giving you another frame I'm going to share with you, and I'm sharing with you about why your feelings do actually matter and how they are impacting you today, and when you can actually allow yourself to acknowledge and feel your feelings.
00:16:38:04 - 00:16:57:16
Lisa
And I'm not saying you need to drown in like, you know, emotional tantrums all the time, but the reality is, is you are stuck in your emotions every day without even realizing you're stuck in your emotions because they're coming out through your behaviors. And then you're calling those behaviors, well, that's just who I am. Well, it's not just who you are, it's how you've learned to cope.
00:16:57:16 - 00:17:21:28
Lisa
It's the identity that you've had to build for yourself because you didn't have the tools to know how to acknowledge and identify your feelings. So now you know why it happened. But this is where I want you to really lean in. Because if I stopped here, this would just be a story about your childhood. And this isn't just a story about your childhood.
00:17:22:00 - 00:17:50:07
Lisa
This still matters. So let's talk about the stakes of why this still matters. Because this is a story about your life right now as we speak. So when you learned your feelings didn't matter, you didn't stop having feelings. You stopped letting yourself feel them. I'm going to say that again. When you learned your feelings didn't matter, you didn't stop having feelings.
00:17:50:09 - 00:18:17:08
Lisa
You stopped letting yourself feel them. They went underground. And feelings that go underground don't disappear. They turn into behaviors. They become the exhaustion that you can't shake. They become the way you snap at your partner and then hate yourself for it. They become the dread on Sunday nights when you know you've got to go back to work. On Monday, they become the numbness.
00:18:17:08 - 00:18:53:06
Lisa
After a win. They become the over functioning, the control, the passive aggressiveness, the achievement that never seems to land and nothing is ever good enough. They become the reason why you can't be in silence with yourself. Why there's always an itch that needs to be scratched within you. They become the drinking, the spending, the eating, the scrolling, the overworking.
00:18:53:09 - 00:19:18:18
Lisa
These are the things that we do to keep stuffing our feelings down. So if you think you have a productivity problem, or you have a relationship problem, or you have a discipline problem, I am here to tell you you have a feelings problem and you've been holding down a lifetime of them because you learned your feelings didn't matter.
00:19:18:21 - 00:19:27:00
Lisa
But what you did, what you produced, how you pushed through did.
00:19:27:02 - 00:19:54:26
Lisa
So. A lifetime of feelings being stuffed down. And they're showing up in every part of your life right now that isn't working. And I know this was true for me, right? This is why I have been so deep in this work for so long. Unraveling my own patterns and supporting my clients unravel their own success paradox. And this is the whole point of the things that created your success up until now.
00:19:54:26 - 00:20:17:05
Lisa
They work until they don't. Because that success you're chasing, those feelings that you want to feel, you actually don't know how to feel them, and you'll never give yourself permission to feel them. So the more you push them down, the louder they're going to get, the worse your behaviors are going to become, the shittier you're going to feel.
00:20:17:07 - 00:21:01:14
Lisa
They don't go away. They just find a different way out. And it's usually in behaviors that you are so not proud of. Yelling at your kids. Yelling at your partner. Behaving badly. Again, the passive aggressiveness, the angry outbursts. So this is why you need to care. Because you're actually already paying for this every single day. You just haven't connected the dots because you're so focused on how do I change the behavior versus what in my identity needs to change?
00:21:01:16 - 00:21:33:05
Lisa
What do I need to allow myself to acknowledge and feel? And when you do that, how quickly and how easily the behaviors can start to change, because now you become a different person from the inside, where we're looking at the parts of you that weren't allowed to feel well, what happens when they are allowed to feel? How can you acknowledge those emotions, the thoughts that tie to those emotions and then manage them better so you can create different results and outcomes in your life?
00:21:33:12 - 00:22:02:18
Lisa
That's what identity work is all about. We focus on the actual problem, not the problem that you think you have. And this is why you struggle so much with changing your behaviors because you're not looking at the right thing. So the way you've adapted to this, your feelings don't matter. We create coping mechanisms around this, right? You created your entire identity around this.
00:22:02:18 - 00:22:37:28
Lisa
The capable one, the achiever, the polisher, the machine, the giver who takes care of everybody else. And these adaptations are what I call archetypes. And these are the archetypes that I've been working with in my practice for, gosh, well over a decade now, refining them and understanding them, the human psyche. And what creates this version of you that you see today and what happens when we refine these archetypes and get you into congruent.
00:22:37:28 - 00:22:59:14
Lisa
So you still get to go out and do extraordinary things in the world, but not from a place of not feeling good enough, not from a place of being caught in the emotion of shame. Which is ironic. I remember a client once who said to me, oh, I don't, I don't feel shame, Lisa. I said, oh, that's quite interesting because her behavior showed me, her behavior showed me she was constantly operating from a place of shame.
00:22:59:14 - 00:23:19:05
Lisa
So for those of you who don't know, shame is the belief of I am not good enough, right? Shame is I am not worthy. And most of us are running this pattern unconsciously and we don't realize it. I see it all the time because I know how to identify these behaviors. And when we can shift that part of your identity that doesn't believe you are enough.
00:23:19:05 - 00:23:40:21
Lisa
When we can move you out of the shame that's keeping you trapped without you even knowing it, that's when your life really opens up and you're able to expand into the things you do or the experiences you want to have, and you'll be able to feel what it is you do want to feel. Instead of spending your entire life trying to move away from feelings you don't want to feel that you were told were invalid anyways.
00:23:40:24 - 00:24:01:22
Lisa
So the fastest way for you to find out which of these archetypes is you is to take the Success Paradox quiz. I created this as a tool for my clients to help them identify what, out of the four archetypes are the top two that are really that really have a chokehold on on their life. It's about 18 questions.
00:24:01:22 - 00:24:20:05
Lisa
It takes about 4 to 5 minutes. I want you to just go through it. Don't overthink it. You can't get it right or wrong. Which is which. How do you answer this question in a way that most describes you? If you've done, a significant amount of personal development work, think about, well, was that the pattern that I used to run and answer it that way?
00:24:20:05 - 00:24:47:06
Lisa
Right. Again, we don't want to get into overthinking or overanalyzing it. You will get the results that you need to get. So at once you get your results, you're going to get invited into a private podcast series where I go even deeper into these archetypes and really support you in what it looks like to unravel them. So you can find that, the link to take the quiz in the show notes, or it's Lisa Carpenter, aka forward slash quiz.
00:24:47:06 - 00:25:08:12
Lisa
Super easy. Now, if you are listening to me and you're like, I don't even need to take the quiz to know where I'm at, Lisa, and you're ready to really show up in your life and do the deep identity work that's going to create the health, wealth, relationships that you want in your world. Then go ahead and sign up for Congruency Audit.
00:25:08:12 - 00:25:30:23
Lisa
My team is going to walk you through specifically what is holding you back and what needs to change for you to create the outcomes that you want. And it's not focused on your behavior. It's focused on the patterns that are driving everything and how you can shift them. So if you don't know where to start, I still recommend starting with the quiz.
00:25:30:23 - 00:25:50:14
Lisa
Because if you're going to jump on a congruency audit, we want to know the results of your quiz. It helps us to guide the conversation. So that's the doorway in. I trust that this was an episode that is going to punch you in the gut a little bit. I know most of my clients do not love feeling their feelings.
00:25:50:14 - 00:26:11:06
Lisa
I know that I did not like it when I had to learn to feel my feelings. It was. It felt very unnatural for me. I wanted to live in my head. I wanted to think through everything. And what I learned very, very quickly is to get out of my head, into my heart, acknowledge my feelings, allow them to give me the data and the message.
00:26:11:13 - 00:26:33:09
Lisa
And it was my job to distill that message and start to pull apart all the things that I had been running from my entire life, so that I can be this version of me now, and do the things that I want to be doing in the world and create the things that I want to be creating in my world that didn't come from thinking or strategy or the perfect plan.
00:26:33:11 - 00:27:06:00
Lisa
It came from facing myself, the stories I was telling myself based on the feelings that I didn't even recognize, that a conscious level I was feeling. So this is here and available for you as well. So thank you for tuning in to this week's episode of congruent. I appreciate you being here listening. I would appreciate it so much if you shared this episode, if it resonated with you, if you know another high achieving man or woman who looks like they're crushing it on the outside, but you've been privy to some conversations where you know there's so much more going on inside of them.
00:27:06:07 - 00:27:25:01
Lisa
Forward this episode. To them, you may be the person that helps to shift their life, and if it's spoke to you and you're really ready to shift your life because you know, I'm I'm speaking the truth here, then make sure you hop on, grab the quiz, and book yourself a congruency audit call. I can't wait to work with you.
00:27:25:03 - 00:27:29:19
Lisa
And until next time, take good care of you and I will catch you on the next episode.
