Ever wonder why hitting the million-dollar milestone didn’t feel the way you thought it would? Brandon Lucero built a million-dollar business in nine months, bought the dream car, and proved to everyone he’d made it. But on the inside, he was working such long hours he wasn’t seeing his kids some days, chasing significance instead of fulfillment, and walking on eggshells in his marriage to avoid rocking the boat. What he didn’t realize was that his relentless drive to prove his worth was actually rooted in low self-worth, one that would take his divorce and three years of wild discomfort to finally face.
Brandon’s Story: From Dead Broke to Million Dollar Business to Facing Who He Really Was
Brandon started from the bottom. Living with his in-laws with less than $1,000 in his bank account, watching his friends buy houses and build careers while he was a college dropout with nothing to show for it. Money became his measure of worthiness. If he could just become a millionaire, then he’d finally feel like he mattered.
And he did it. Brandon built his first million-dollar business in nine months. He bought the Jaguar F-Type, the dream car that was supposed to signal he’d arrived. But when he caught himself driving it to the Four Seasons and Ritz Carlton, seeking significance, trying to feel better than other people, he realized something was deeply wrong. The car wasn’t the problem. His relationship with worthiness was.
Then came the real reckoning. His 25-year marriage ended. The identity of “husband and dad” that he’d wrapped his entire sense of self around got ripped away overnight. He was just Brandon. Just dad. And he had to face the parts of himself he’d been avoiding for decades: the people-pleasing, the walking on eggshells, the constant abandonment of himself to keep everyone else comfortable. The hidden signs of low self-worth that look like being the nice person, the accommodating one, the one who never rocks the boat.
Over the past three years, Brandon has been in a constant state of discomfort as every area of his life that he was comfortable with got blown up at once. His business, his relationship, his parenting, his identity, his financial security. And through it all, he’s learned that the most spiritual work you can do isn’t meditating for hours. It’s sitting in the wild discomfort of rediscovering who you are when all your armor falls away.
What we talk about in this episode:
What it actually costs to build a million-dollar business in nine months – Working before your kids wake up and coming home after they’re asleep. There was a six-month period where Brandon has no memories with his kids because he was working until he was tired. The quiet regret of wishing he’d slowed down just a little, delayed the million-dollar year, to have those memories back.
The divorce that stripped away every identity he’d built – Being with someone for 25 years since age 16. The massive attachments and dependencies. What it feels like to have your soul split in half. The identity crisis of no longer being “husband and dad,” just Brandon, just dad. And having to finally look at all the ways he’d been abandoning himself.
This episode is for you if you’ve ever:
- Worked before your kids wake up and come home after they’re asleep, justifying it as building their future while a part of you knows you’re missing moments you can’t get back
- Gone through a major life transition (divorce, career shift, identity crisis) and suddenly had to face patterns you’d been running for decades
- Looked back on a period of your life and realized you have no memories because you were so consumed by work
How to stop proving your worth through achievement and start building success that actually feels good
Brandon’s story reveals something most high achievers don’t want to admit: the relentless drive to prove yourself is often rooted in low self-worth. Not the obvious kind where you talk negatively about yourself. The hidden kind that looks like success on the outside. Being the reliable one. The nice person. The high achiever who can handle anything. Never saying no. Never setting boundaries. Constantly bending to accommodate everyone else.
The cost of this pattern isn’t just burnout. It’s working such long hours you don’t see your kids some days. It’s having six-month periods where you have no memories because you were working until you were tired. It’s relationships where you’ve been walking on eggshells and abandoning yourself for years. It’s hitting every milestone and still feeling empty because you never actually defined what success means to you beyond the next goalpost.
When Brandon’s marriage ended, he had to finally face all the ways he’d been people-pleasing and abandoning himself. The three years since have been a constant state of discomfort as every area of his life got blown up at once. But through it all, he’s realized that worthiness isn’t something you earn through achievement. It’s something you claim by finally stopping the abandonment of yourself. By sitting in the discomfort instead of numbing it. By taking personal responsibility instead of staying in victimhood. By getting curious about who you are underneath all the armor you built to survive.
The transformation isn’t about doing less or lowering your standards. It’s about redefining what you’re building toward. Not millions in the bank and a mansion and a Ferrari. Just being financially comfortable, doing work you love, and being hyper-present in your life. That’s success. That would be enough.
Get The Hidden Cost Assessment, a free bonus that will help you see just how much your success might actually be costing you: lisacarpenter.ca/bonus
Ready to stop abandoning yourself in the name of success?
If Brandon’s story hit close to home, if you’re finally ready to stop proving your worth through achievement and start creating success that actually feels good, it’s time for a conversation.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you’ve built on the outside and what you’re actually feeling on the inside. We’ll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in people-pleasing and over-functioning, the wounds driving your need to prove yourself, and what it’s going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
You don’t have to keep working yourself into the ground. You don’t have to keep having periods where you’re so consumed by work you have no memories. You don’t have to keep chasing significance when what you actually want is fulfillment.
Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
TRANSCRIPT
00:00:06:29 - 00:00:33:12
Lisa
You built success that looks damn good on the outside, but inside it's costing you your health, your relationships, your energy. And no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough. Welcome to Congruent. I'm Lisa Carpenter, the coach. High performers call when they can afford to burn it all down, but they can't keep living like this either.
00:00:33:14 - 00:00:58:24
Lisa
Here we rip off the mask of success and expose what's real. The patterns that you keep running, the price that you've paid, and how to build success that fuels you instead of empties you. Real success is agency. It's powerful self leadership to run your life instead of being run by it. To let your drive and your well-being finally work together.
00:00:58:27 - 00:01:09:16
Lisa
Because the real win is success. That actually feels good.
00:01:09:19 - 00:01:31:17
Lisa
You've built something impressive. You've hit the milestones. Made the money. Proven yourself over and over. But somewhere along the way, you looked around and realized the version of success that got you here is costing you everything that actually matters your marriage, your presence with your kids, the ability to just be in your own life without constantly chasing the next thing.
00:01:31:20 - 00:01:55:06
Lisa
Welcome to congruence. I'm Lisa Carpenter, and this podcast is for people who look successful on the outside. But feel exhausted and unfulfilled on the inside. We talk about what it really takes to create success that feels as good as it looks. Today's guest is Brandon Lucero, an online marketing and messaging expert, founder of New Generation Mastery and host of the New Generation Entrepreneur podcast.
00:01:55:08 - 00:02:19:14
Lisa
Brandon helps course creators and coaches create messaging that shifts beliefs and moves audiences into action. His former multimillion dollar program video for X effect has helped thousands of entrepreneurs generate millions in sales across hundreds of niches. But what stands out most about Brandon is his huge heart. He truly cares about the people he serves and the people who matter most in his life.
00:02:19:16 - 00:02:42:22
Lisa
And he knows the cost of building success intimately because he's lived it. Brandon went from dead broke and living with his in-laws to building a multimillion dollar business in nine months. On the outside, massive success. But on the inside, he was working before his kids woke up and coming home after they were asleep, missing the moments he could never get back.
00:02:42:24 - 00:03:09:14
Lisa
He bought the dream car he thought would finally make him feel successful, only to realize he was chasing significance but not fulfillment. And when his 25 year marriage ended, every identity he'd built his life around got stripped away all at once. I'm deeply grateful for Brandon's vulnerability in this conversation. He doesn't hold back. He shares the most intimate parts of his journey, the moments most people would never admit aloud.
00:03:09:16 - 00:03:35:16
Lisa
Because this podcast isn't about what you do or what you've built. It's about who you are. The stories that shaped you and what those stories taught you to believe about success and worth. We talk about what it actually costs to build success when you're trying to prove your worth through money, the hidden signs of low self-worth that look like being the nice person, the people pleaser, and the one who never rocks the boat.
00:03:35:19 - 00:03:52:07
Lisa
And what happens when you finally stop abandoning yourself to keep everyone else comfortable? If you've ever worked yourself into the ground while telling yourself it's for your family, then felt the crushing realization you missed the memories you can never get back. This one's for you. Let's dive in.
00:03:52:10 - 00:04:12:01
Lisa
Thanks for being here today, Brandon. I'm really looking forward to having this conversation now. You and I have known each other for years before we actually connected, which I actually don't know if you knew me for years, but I knew who you were. I did, for years. Okay. Yeah. And what's interesting is when we did finally meet it wasn't at a peak moment for either of us.
00:04:12:03 - 00:04:30:25
Lisa
It was really on the tail end of both of us going through a lot of personal and professional, adversity. And I think that matters because when we met, we weren't really showing up, as, you know, the messaging guy. You weren't showing up as the messaging guy. And I certainly wasn't showing up at as the version of myself that many people would have expected either.
00:04:30:27 - 00:04:56:10
Lisa
And we sat down and had a really honest conversation with each other. And I've been really aware, watching you over the past year, how much you're questioning not just your business, but who you are as a human as things fall away. You've spoken openly about your divorce, pressure, lack of clarity, and what happens when the version of success that got you here no longer fits who you're becoming?
00:04:56:12 - 00:05:16:06
Lisa
So instead of us starting with. You know, what you teach and what you do, we can talk about it. That at the end of the episode. I wanted to start somewhere more foundational. So how did you used to define success when you started your business? Like what? What drove you back in the day when you were just a little baby entrepreneur for money.
00:05:16:08 - 00:05:37:07
Brandon
Money? It's just there's just like, how do I make a million? How to become a millionaire? Amazing. You know, but in my defense, I didn't have any money. You know, I had all the time in the world, and I didn't have any money. And I also didn't have kids at that time either. And so it was like being dead broke, worrying about, like, a $50 bill every single month was not a life that I wanted.
00:05:37:07 - 00:05:52:09
Brandon
So I just wanted that freedom that money could have brought. But that's what success was to me. It was like, you become a millionaire and you're successful. And I think that's I think that's sort of the narrative that is in society right now also. So that's that's where I was when I got started.
00:05:52:13 - 00:06:00:12
Lisa
Right. So when you think about that version of success, what did it say about who you believed you were?
00:06:00:14 - 00:06:20:19
Brandon
Well, it I think it gave me worth because looking back at who I was then, I was like a 20 something year old kid. And a lot of my, my friends were, like, getting their career started. They had degrees, I did not. I dropped out of college. They started like buying houses, and I was living with my in-laws with like less than $1,000 in my bank account.
00:06:20:21 - 00:06:38:09
Brandon
So like the self-worth issue was really big for me. So money to me meant worthiness. It meant like, okay, I am. And then when I started, when I started to make more money, I actually started to realize it made me feel better than people. And then that felt pretty icky. After I became aware of that's where I was at.
00:06:38:11 - 00:06:44:25
Brandon
And, so I would say those are like the two biggest hurdles of like where I was and what I was making money mean about about me.
00:06:44:27 - 00:07:03:21
Lisa
Yeah, that's I really resonate with that. When I started my business, a lot of it was, again, if I just make enough money, then I'll feel good. And I was carrying a ton of debt. So I everything I did was about getting away from my debt. And I remember when I finally paid off my debt, then I was depressed because I was like, what am I?
00:07:03:24 - 00:07:16:08
Lisa
What am I even getting out of bed for? Like, it took me a long time to go. What am I really doing here? What am I really moving towards? What do I really want in my life? Because it can't just all be about the almighty dollar.
00:07:16:11 - 00:07:34:27
Brandon
Right? Yeah. I mean, I can I can relate to that. Especially when I started to have it when I had like my son and I remember, you know, it was the 2018, 2018 was a really big year for me. And that was when my son was born right around then. I mean, no, sorry. My daughter was born right around the my son was maybe 1 or 2.
00:07:34:29 - 00:07:53:26
Brandon
But like when you have little ones like that, like, you know, the times are so precious, especially the two year old. And it's such a cute, it's such a cute age, but I remember moments where I was, like, work at, like, I was up at the office before they, would get up. And then I was home after they'd already gone to sleep.
00:07:53:26 - 00:08:17:06
Brandon
So I just wasn't seeing them some days. And I remember telling myself, like, well, we're on our way to our first million dollar year, like, this is going to create such an amazing life. And I although I wouldn't change it, there is a little there are there's a little piece of me that goes like, I wish I would have just slowed down a little bit back then to like and delayed getting to that million dollar a year just to have those memories back again.
00:08:17:08 - 00:08:34:26
Lisa
I, I completely understand that when my older two boys were young, it was all about like, how can I create this business so I can travel with them and spend more time with them? And if I look back on my life, that's I don't have a lot of regrets about things, but I don't really remember my kids being young like I don't my older two.
00:08:34:26 - 00:08:50:21
Lisa
I don't really remember them being young. And the irony is, like everything that I wanted, I could have had if I just realized that, you know, living in that present moment with them, they didn't need the fancy trips and all the things that was that was my ego. So I love being able to do that with them now.
00:08:50:28 - 00:09:01:23
Lisa
But I can't go back in time and, you know, recapture those, those young years. So it was literally like, When I'm successful, then I'll be a then I'll parent.
00:09:01:25 - 00:09:19:04
Brandon
Yeah. You know, I think that it's hard because I kind of wrestle without a little bit because there's parts of me to go like, well, if I had not worked and hustled my face off doing this, what I really meant here and then, now we have these amazing experiences, like, like I am home and way more present now because of what the financial situation is.
00:09:19:06 - 00:09:38:24
Brandon
But I don't think I think that could be considered like black and white thinking sometimes. And I think there's a lot more gray to a lot of our decisions where you can be present, but also like hustle your face off, you know what I mean? Like, because that's what the that's what it required in that moment where like, maybe I would just come home for lunch and I would have like an hour or two every single day.
00:09:38:24 - 00:09:50:04
Brandon
That was super present. And like, I could have those memories with them because I'm like you during that like six month period, I don't have any memories of things with my kids. I have a lot of memories of like working until I was tired.
00:09:50:06 - 00:10:07:12
Lisa
Wait to write burning the candle at both ends. And the truth is, like we can't go back and change the past. It was the way it was and this is where I'm at. So I had the journey that I was, I was meant to have that I remember one of my sons saying to me, you know, mom, I just want you home more.
00:10:07:14 - 00:10:32:02
Lisa
I just, I just want you home more. And it was it was heartbreaking because I was really torn between the success I was chasing and then also wanting to be a good mom and feeling at the time that I couldn't have both. I had to choose one or the other. So when you when did you first sense that the way you were defining success wasn't going to work for you long term?
00:10:32:04 - 00:10:51:07
Brandon
So I actually know the my it's it's funny, I ask because I know the exact moment is so I, it was 2018 and I started like that was our first million dollars a year. And then the next year we're at like multi-millions. And we saw this like really fast growth over to a two year period. And I wanted this car.
00:10:51:07 - 00:11:07:07
Brandon
And as the Jaguar F-Type, it was like the sports car was like super. It was just such a beautiful car. I wanted it so bad. And I remember that was like a big motivator for me. And I finally got it. And I remember being so excited and I remember like, yeah, so excited because it's a nice cars and they work for.
00:11:07:09 - 00:11:28:23
Brandon
But I also remember feeling like, okay, I can like drive it up to the Four Seasons and to the Ritz-Carlton and like, like and I started I just was doing that one day and I'm like, I'm doing all of this just to have significance. And I was like, I don't like that feeling. And I started realizing when I would get in the car or to feel better than other people.
00:11:28:23 - 00:11:49:05
Brandon
And I was like, whoa, I never saw that side of myself. And then that's actually when I decided to get rid of the car. As I'm not doing this anymore, I'm not at a maturity level that I like to be able to handle something like this, and not least with the intention that I want. So that's it's actually I don't think I've even told anyone this, but that's the reason why I got rid of the car, and I ended up just getting my other dream car, which is a truck that I still have to this day.
00:11:49:07 - 00:12:08:17
Brandon
And so I just drive the Toyota Tacoma around. And then that's when I started to work through these different issues of like, you know, and recognizing, like, I do have worthiness, I do have I had to work on self-love, which is that's been a massive journey from that moment to even up until today. But that's when I started to like, do all of those go through?
00:12:08:17 - 00:12:23:15
Brandon
I, you know, it always comes with awareness first. So that's when I got the awareness and then it was coming up with, doing the work to just realize, like, everyone's on their own journey, every human on this planet is an equal human being. There is no better than we're all just one and the same. And so that's where I'm at now.
00:12:23:15 - 00:12:32:12
Brandon
And so I do have another car on my list that I eventually want to get, which I like. Okay, I'm finally at the maturity level to be able to handle that with the intention that I would be okay with.
00:12:32:12 - 00:12:52:22
Lisa
So I love that I, I think a lot of us get into that proving energy. When I have these things, then I'll feel good about myself, only to realize like, oh, it doesn't really actually feel good to put myself in this position of like, well, now I'm better than you, right? You know? And I don't think a lot of people have the awareness that that's what's even happening for them.
00:12:52:24 - 00:13:07:26
Brandon
No, no they don't. And I didn't I didn't for a while until one day I was just I just recognized it in myself. And then I, and I actually would notice how the people around me started treating me. And I was like, well, that's actually what trigger triggered it. And I was like, why are they treating me that way?
00:13:07:26 - 00:13:20:01
Brandon
Or why are they like, why are they not responding to things the way that I thought they would? And then I was like, oh man. And then that's when I was like a it was a downhill or uphill battle. And then however you want to look at it. But yeah, I was it.
00:13:20:03 - 00:13:40:05
Lisa
Was I know for me, I used to put people who are, you know, driving the fast cars and making the million dollars on this pedestal like they were somehow different and separate from me. And I wasn't allowed in the cool kids club, only to realize that the more that I've just stepped into my own path or everybody's same, like it doesn't matter what level of success people are at, we are really just all the same.
00:13:40:05 - 00:13:46:21
Lisa
Nobody is better than anybody. It doesn't. We don't measure that by bank account balance. It took me a long time to learn that.
00:13:46:24 - 00:14:02:17
Brandon
Well, I think that if you do, that is what you're doing. You are measuring things like that. Then you're putting yourself on a very dangerous cycle of always chasing, always like there's no end goal because it's like there's always me, someone who has more money than you or me, someone who has a nicer house than you, bigger vacations and you like flies.
00:14:02:17 - 00:14:11:10
Brandon
First class. More like there's always going to be those people. So if you're constantly like chasing that to, like, be equal to you, like you're just you're just hustling until you die.
00:14:11:12 - 00:14:13:19
Lisa
Yeah. It's it's a game you can never win.
00:14:13:24 - 00:14:14:18
Brandon
Yeah, exactly.
00:14:14:18 - 00:14:36:07
Lisa
So let's fast forward to your divorce because this was like, this was a major thing in your life. This was probably the first, like, really big shake up in your world. So I'm curious to know what beliefs about you during that time. Did you really discover. And that got really shook it up in you? It's not the right way to say that.
00:14:36:07 - 00:14:37:06
Lisa
Shaken up, shaken up.
00:14:37:11 - 00:14:37:25
Brandon
Shaken up.
00:14:37:25 - 00:14:39:27
Lisa
The sand.
00:14:39:29 - 00:15:00:18
Brandon
Man, there's there's a lot. So I think the first, the first big, thing about myself was I just realized I didn't love myself as much as I thought I did. And if you would have asked me before my divorce, I could. Do you love yourself? And I'm like, yeah, of course, of course I do. And I was looking at self-love as like, I'm confident in myself and my abilities.
00:15:00:18 - 00:15:31:29
Brandon
I, I take care of myself, I meditate, I have my own like spiritual practice, like, I, I like, care for myself. And and I realized there's a lot of ways I was actually abandoning, abandoning myself and not realizing. And so things like people pleasing or like just, walking on eggshells all the time and just like bending to what are the keep peace in the house, you know, like trying to be a good husband where like, something is bothering my partner and then I just, like, cater to that, even though it means I'm abandoning myself.
00:15:31:29 - 00:15:54:29
Brandon
And that may not have been a totally fair request of of the partner, you know, at the time. And so there was a lot of things that was the biggest shakeup. It just completely looked at how I saw myself and how much I was really abounding. Like, that was like the probably the biggest thing that I really had to go through in the, beginning of it.
00:15:54:29 - 00:16:20:26
Brandon
And then the other part of it was, I was with my ex for 25 years. I'm 42 now. I think when we went through the divorce process, I was 40, 41 and I was with her since we were 16. And so you have these massive amounts of attachments and dependency on, like being with that person. So there was a big like it felt like my soul was being split in half.
00:16:20:26 - 00:16:43:05
Brandon
This is what it felt like. And that was really rough. But learning how to be a single individual person without, another half or attachment was really to us. And, and we can get into holding it like trauma bonds and all this other stuff that was that we're like going on. But I would say those were the main core issues.
00:16:43:05 - 00:17:02:22
Brandon
And then the last one is just basically, I had to look at like the major identity of just how I saw myself, which was like, I'm not a husband and dad anymore. I'm just I'm just dad, you know, like, I'm just Brandon and I'm just dad. And that was a big one because I really pride myself on being a very good husband.
00:17:02:22 - 00:17:08:15
Brandon
And so that identity just got blown up, just, like, disappeared overnight.
00:17:08:17 - 00:17:32:23
Lisa
So challenging. When we face those parts of ourselves where, like, we really have built our identity around the things in our lives, you know, when my partner went to rehab well over a decade ago now, and I started this deep work on myself, and I've been a coach for years, and I remember when I looked at my counselor and I was like, I had no idea I had such low self-worth.
00:17:32:26 - 00:17:57:23
Lisa
It was like a gut punch for me to realize that about myself, because I'd always taken good care of myself. I've been coaching people for years, but to come face to face with like, how did I not see this? It was so humbling. It was so humbling for me. So I know what that feels like when you're looking at things that you've wrapped your identity around, like, so I was a real caretaker and pleaser as well.
00:17:57:26 - 00:18:17:26
Lisa
Yeah. And I thought that that's what made me an amazing human right. I like the fact that, like, you want me as your friend, you want me as your partner, and to to start to see how those traits were so toxic that they were coming from such an unhealthy place inside me, and then to start to let them go, I felt like I was being asked to breathe underwater.
00:18:17:28 - 00:18:47:00
Brandon
Yeah, it's very uncomfortable. It's extremely uncomfortable. And that's those are like those hidden self-worth issues. I don't think people really talk about like, there's there's the the more well known characteristics of, of low self-worth, which is like talking negatively about yourself, not being like all those sort of things, but the not having boundaries and like the people pleasing and then like being the nice person, like those are also signs of low self-worth because you can't tell people no like you.
00:18:47:00 - 00:19:01:26
Brandon
You just are letting people walk all over you or you're just you're just putting on this mask to avoid conflict or rocking the boat or whatever, whatever it may be like. Those are hard. Those are hidden ones. I think that most people are not. They are not classified soft, low self-worth.
00:19:01:27 - 00:19:28:06
Lisa
No. And I work with like for I call them the success paradox. The success identities and they are things like being the machine. So chasing achievement all the time. Often people don't recognize that that is attached to low self-worth. Getting into proving, getting into pleasing, perfectionism, being the nice person like you talked about. These are all often just armor that we wear to try and make ourselves feel good or better than right.
00:19:28:08 - 00:19:35:26
Lisa
But they're they're just these like false identities. And when they start to fall away, it's really disruptive. Because who am I without this, right.
00:19:35:28 - 00:19:55:20
Brandon
Yeah. And and I like, if I'm being honest with you, I still struggle with it today is like I even with with my ex now in like co-parenting and doing these things. I will find myself falling back into the same patterns, which is like, well, let me just give in to this little thing or let me like, let me just be the nice one in the mature one.
00:19:55:20 - 00:20:11:03
Brandon
And so I'm just going to be overly nice and complimentary and like validate and like then I get done with these messages. I'm like, why did I, why am I, what am I do? What am I doing? But you're right. But then not doing it and then possibly being perceived as a bad guy is like breathing, trying to breathe in water.
00:20:11:03 - 00:20:16:08
Brandon
It is so uncomfortable. But that's why they call it the work. The work is not easy.
00:20:16:14 - 00:20:39:07
Lisa
No. And it's it really is about expanding your capacity to hold discomfort. Yeah. And, you know, we used to joke when when my partner came out of rehab, you know, his job was to stay sober, and my job was to stay out of my behavior patterns. And I used to get so angry because I felt like my job was harder, and it was because it was all these beliefs and behaviors and identity pieces that I was getting into.
00:20:39:07 - 00:20:56:26
Lisa
It was just so challenging to be in the wild discomfort of it. So I wanted to know, how did you learn to sit in that discomfort and not move away from it? Because this is what we do, right? Like something doesn't feel good. So we go back to the behavior or we go find some way, some way else to numb out what we're feeling.
00:20:56:26 - 00:21:00:20
Lisa
So how did you learn to just be with those parts of yourself?
00:21:00:23 - 00:21:25:10
Brandon
Well, I mean, my first I don't know how to explain that other than I just did it. And I was willing to also, like, I don't even know how to explain this. I was, I was will, I was yeah, yeah, sure. I was like, I was willing to discover more of myself. Like I was willing to just be just accept that I'm not.
00:21:25:13 - 00:21:41:26
Brandon
Done evolving. And I'm like, I am willing to, like, look at myself and and even from my ex, like when she would say something or this is how you were like, I would actually try it on a little bit. And I was just like getting a little bit curious, and I was just willing to put the ego to the side, and it wasn't like it was this.
00:21:41:27 - 00:22:06:03
Brandon
I'm still doing it and probably always will. And that's the thing is, like, it just keeps going to another level, another level. And so, I think also because this whole journey of the divorce and the, you know, rediscovering who I am and the business, it's been like three years and after three years a thing, everything, everything, the discomfort almost becomes just your normal state where you're just like, okay, what's next?
00:22:06:05 - 00:22:22:05
Brandon
All right. Sure. Like I don't know, sometimes I feel like you hold on. Just like with a death grip of, like, not wanting to let go, not wanting to do this. They're they're wrong and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, that's also really fucking exhausting too. And so it's like, what? What sort of like discomfort and exhaustion do I want?
00:22:22:06 - 00:22:28:26
Brandon
And like, I want the type of discomfort, exhaustion that's going eventually lead to me just maintaining more authenticity and power.
00:22:28:28 - 00:22:49:06
Lisa
I think that you and I both look at this the same way. And and your friend Jim, my mentor Jim talks about, there's nothing in your life without your permission and Don about your shaman. Right. And I always approach my life like that. There's nothing in my life without my permission. But that means that there's a lot of personal responsibility, and that is for sitting in the discomfort.
00:22:49:06 - 00:22:59:29
Lisa
And I think that that's what so many people want to move away from. They don't want to be responsible for the things that are going on in their life. They rather get into blaming other people. Yeah. Than growing and evolving. Yeah. That victim.
00:23:00:01 - 00:23:17:06
Brandon
The thing, the thing with victimhood that I don't think most people realize, actually, I wrote down this whole thing. I wish I could remember it word for word, but I remember in a meditation, that I did one time, there's a whole thing about victimhood is like, when you're a victim, there's nothing in your life that can change.
00:23:17:06 - 00:23:36:14
Brandon
Because when you're a victim, it's like everything the external world is to blame, which means, and you can't control the external world. So when you're in victimhood, you're basically saying these things that I can't control are the reason why this is happening to me, which means when you can't control these external things, you can't change your situation. So when you're a victim, you lose complete.
00:23:36:19 - 00:23:54:13
Brandon
You lose 100% power. And being able to change anything. And I don't think people, people realize that. Or maybe it's just maybe they do and they're just like, well, whatever, it's disease. You're not to change the blame everyone else. Or like, well, then you're everything just keeps repeating. Like, why would you want to keep like going through the same things again?
00:23:54:13 - 00:23:56:19
Brandon
And to me makes no sense. You know what I mean?
00:23:56:19 - 00:24:16:12
Lisa
So I agree I agree 100%. So what is your when you do want to avoid. Because listen we we don't always do great at sitting in the discomfort. Right. We're human. When you do want to avoid things, what where do you notice yourself escaping. Is it work for you?
00:24:16:14 - 00:24:36:12
Brandon
It's taking a gummy and meditating. It's, or going for a walk, like, that's how I. I disassociate, like, I just this too much. I need to take. I'm just gonna take a gummy. I'm going to get high, and I'm just going to go for a walk, and I'll go walk for, like, two hours. But I like it because, yeah, it's a form of, like, numbing whatever's going on.
00:24:36:12 - 00:24:58:12
Brandon
The discomfort. But I'm aware of that. Like, I know that that's what I'm doing, but also it allows me to get into really deep states of meditation that actually leave me with a lot of, like, wisdom and guidance on, like, how to move myself out of this. So I feel like and maybe this is just my way of justifying it, but like, I, I like it because I gain from it as well.
00:24:58:12 - 00:25:25:12
Brandon
So I'm like, I can lower the discomfort, but I can gain. And then when I come back, I'm like, okay, now I know where I'm going and I have direction, and it makes me feel like I have a little bit more like control. On getting out of wherever I'm at, right. But you know, the other thing too, is that what I'm really starting to realize, especially over the last three years, is that people avoid the discomfort and and you can't avoid the discomfort because if you try to do that, it it doesn't just go away.
00:25:25:12 - 00:25:42:28
Brandon
It's still there and it will come back up at some point. And most people don't once you don't realize that. And so like what I realized is like, well, maybe this is very uncomfortable. I'll just put my head down, I'll sit through the feelings and I'll just get through it quicker, you know what I mean? I think I, I don't want to sit in fire for, for five hours when I can do it for five seconds.
00:25:42:28 - 00:25:50:15
Brandon
And so that's the thought that keeps going through my head as well. It's just like the sooner you feel it, the sooner you can get through it.
00:25:50:17 - 00:26:09:28
Lisa
Our mutual friend Lisa caught off gave me a great metaphor about this years ago, and I've never forgotten it. She's like, you know, you've you've got to look at the discomfort of your standing in the ring of fire, and the ring of fire is closing in, and either way, you're going to get burned. So if you walk through the Ring of Fire, you're going to get to the other side and you're going to start to feel relief.
00:26:10:00 - 00:26:27:18
Lisa
But if you don't move, if you stay in that discomfort, it's just going to keep getting hotter and hotter and hotter. So I would rather move right through the discomfort like walk right into it, walk right through it, and then I'll find relief on the other side versus hanging on to and trying to avoid it, you know.
00:26:27:22 - 00:26:44:25
Brandon
Yeah. And I think that that happens like sometimes I feel like it's not even for me. It was also like not even just my own discomfort and feelings. It was like were there hard conversations that I was avoiding and different things like that, like or letting it over the years, like letting employees go? I'm like, I just would avoid it, avoided avoid it, avoid it.
00:26:44:25 - 00:27:00:12
Brandon
And you have to face it at some time. And then it was like, well, now we're way behind or worse off because we just avoided it. Whereas if we just, you know, like nicked it in the butt three months ago, we way, way ahead of where we are now. So on that side was very hard for me. Like.
00:27:00:15 - 00:27:06:09
Brandon
And the hard conversations letting people down, like all of that stuff, it's still a journey for me.
00:27:06:11 - 00:27:29:14
Lisa
For me as well. I actually my right hand, she does all the hiring and firing because I'm so not good at it, so I just remove myself from that. So she does all of the hard stuff and I have the hard conversations with her. So I've had to find ways to work around it and also expand my ability to have hard conversations, especially with and set boundaries with people in my family.
00:27:29:14 - 00:27:48:11
Lisa
My mother in law comes to mind. There's always a lot of really are boundaries there. But you know what? It's just it's it's changed who I am as a person. The more I do the more I lean into the discomfort, the more personal power I gain in my life, and the more I'm able to go do other things right.
00:27:48:11 - 00:28:00:27
Lisa
Like when we do hard things, we're able to do more hard things, right. So what are you no longer willing to sacrifice now in your life in the name of growth?
00:28:01:00 - 00:28:04:26
Brandon
My spiritual beliefs, I think that was. That's a big one.
00:28:04:28 - 00:28:07:13
Lisa
But they wobbled for a while, did they not?
00:28:07:16 - 00:28:32:23
Brandon
Yeah, yeah. And they still do. I think, you know, it's it's I don't know how to describe it other than it's like, to what degree do I want this to run my life, you know, and I think, like, there is I think there was a period where I was just like being spiritual and growth was almost a part of my identity.
00:28:32:23 - 00:28:40:28
Brandon
Like I'm like, okay, cool. I'm gonna look more evolved and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So it's hard doing things and I'll be like, I'm going to do this every single day so I can grow faster and like all the stuff.
00:28:40:28 - 00:28:44:00
Lisa
To that proving energy, like with the client, right? Yeah, yeah.
00:28:44:02 - 00:28:56:18
Brandon
I'm going to have this and then but it would like pay off also because then I would have like these amazing downloads and I would like start seeing entities and like all of this stuff and I'm like this is all very cool. And I could start seeing things that weren't that you would not see with your with your five senses.
00:28:56:18 - 00:29:13:22
Brandon
And I'm like, this is very cool. But then it was like it did become pretty consuming of, of my life. And I'm like, I have to find this balance of of what do I want my like I have to come back to intention. What is my intention with this and what do I want and what I want it to look like?
00:29:13:22 - 00:29:41:22
Brandon
And then also, there's other people that I'm friends with that are also like on the spiritual path. And it's like, then you get in this competition of this and that and blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I'm not playing that. I just I'm not playing that game anymore. And so the wobbling that you may have experienced or seen or heard about is it was more of me finding what level of this is actually mean feels good and I want I can commit to and all of that stuff and doesn't like it shouldn't feel like an obligation.
00:29:41:22 - 00:30:01:29
Brandon
And there were certain things I was doing that felt like an obligation. And so now I'm refining what that that balances. But the difference now is that's what it's what my spiritual beliefs are, are mine. And they're not based from like someone over here saying, that's weird and you can't do that. And another person over here is saying, like, well, we're doing this.
00:30:01:29 - 00:30:20:00
Brandon
Why aren't you doing that? You know what I mean? It's like a lot of personal power. And this is what feels good to me. This is what works for me. This is what I enjoy. This is how I want to grow. That's that's where I'm starting to head towards now. And I'm I think I'm there not 100%, but I'm definitely like 80, 90% there right now.
00:30:20:04 - 00:30:46:11
Lisa
I appreciate you saying that because my own, path with my spiritual beliefs and practices has grown and evolved and changed, and I can be around a lot of magical people. And then I would get into, well, why am I not magical? Why can't I do these things or see these things and also trying to balance out the things that I love in the 3D with that spiritual part of myself and having a hard time sometimes reconciling it because I really like being human.
00:30:46:13 - 00:31:05:25
Lisa
There's a lot of cool, so cool shit we get to do on this earth. Yeah, so really loving that. And then but then starting to feel a disconnect with that spiritual peace. So really still trying to balance out both because, you know, I could spend all day on self-care things, you know, between the gym and walks and meditation and others.
00:31:05:25 - 00:31:22:23
Lisa
And I could spend a lot of time on my spiritual practices, too, and then nothing would also get done in my life. So finding like how I'm going to fit all these pieces in so I feel complete without measuring myself against what other people are doing for their spiritual practices because it's going to look different.
00:31:22:26 - 00:31:48:10
Brandon
It is going to look different. And the thing is too, is, is I feel like the intention behind like having spiritual practice is like is growth. And it is evolution and evolving. And, you know, a lot of that stuff. And I remember I'm going to use James as an example here. A story that that he told me was, he when he went through his divorce, he was like emotionally, I just can't do all the things that I used to do.
00:31:48:10 - 00:32:06:05
Brandon
Like I used to sit down and meditate for an hour, connect with, like, set up an altar and meditate with this altar, like, do all this stuff. And I am not doing any of that stuff and I feel like I'm getting left behind. I feel like like I'm not committed to my spiritual practice. And he was in a lot of this, like anguish over it.
00:32:06:07 - 00:32:21:07
Brandon
And then he talked to to don't have here the shaman that we worked with. And he's like, I just feel like I'm not as committed. I feel like I'm not a good student. And I remember I don't have ever told him. He's like, how do you know? The divorce? And what you're going through is not part of your spiritual growth.
00:32:21:10 - 00:32:41:03
Brandon
And that switch everything for James and also switch everything for me is like spiritual growth doesn't necessarily mean sitting down and meditating every day consistently. It could mean just like discovering more of who you are, more like putting more boundaries in the place, discovering more self-worth with which has like, you don't even have to be spiritual, like have a spiritual practice.
00:32:41:05 - 00:32:57:11
Brandon
Like that's just that's just growth and that's like what it comes when it comes down to. And it really needs to be what feels good to you. And ultimately, I feel like if you're just growing and connecting and and rediscovering more of yourself, that's that's it. Like there's not too much more to it than that.
00:32:57:13 - 00:33:19:29
Lisa
Yeah. And that was that was a big thing for me to realize that the, the work that I do for myself, the work that I support other people with, that is spiritual growth. So it may not look like, you know, sitting in amongst crystals all the time. Right. That actually is the most spiritual work that we can do is to release all these patterns of behavior so that we can live a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
00:33:20:01 - 00:33:35:17
Lisa
Yeah, man, it took a while for that to click because I went through a period to, especially when things were falling apart in my life feeling like I, you know, my abandonment wounds came to the surface as many of us have them. So then I was really in that place, very similar to James of I'm being left behind.
00:33:35:17 - 00:33:48:20
Lisa
I'm going to get left behind again. Everybody's going to leave me. And it was a real it was a real reckoning. Yeah. You know, when things happen in our life that are meant to shake shit out of us, it's it's no joke. It is.
00:33:48:20 - 00:34:10:00
Brandon
No, no, no. And sometimes it I mean, even over the last couple of years, it's like I to be honest, you didn't know I could handle as much as I need to have been able to handle. Like, I remember when the divorce was done with the negotiations and, like, all of that stuff and, like signing the paperwork and then, like, living in two households, I'm like, I remember thinking, okay, I'm over at it.
00:34:10:01 - 00:34:23:23
Brandon
I can focus on the business now. I'll get my finances back up and running. And then I would probably say the year after divorce was even harder than the year going into divorce. The first year after it, I'm like, whoa, oh, another level.
00:34:23:26 - 00:34:56:10
Lisa
Yeah, yeah. Because everything is new. Everything is new. And your identity in bits stripped away. So yeah. The first year after divorce is it is a whole thing. It is a whole thing. And then even integrating. So you know 2023 was my hardest year, 2024 I spent, you know, traveling around the globe trying to heal myself or, you know, and then in 2025, it was like, how do I come back into my business and now integrate who I am now, like where things like, where do things need to be cleaned up?
00:34:56:13 - 00:35:07:06
Lisa
So that's what I wanted to ask you is, you know, now that your relationship with success has changed. Yeah. And of course, how has your brand needed to change with you? How's your business changed with you?
00:35:07:08 - 00:35:11:01
Brandon
I mean. And it's.
00:35:11:01 - 00:35:12:06
Lisa
Still changing.
00:35:12:08 - 00:35:23:17
Brandon
It's still changing. It's still trading. I mean, so it's very interesting because what I wanted to where the business is going is basically where I wanted to go in 2018.
00:35:23:19 - 00:35:24:10
Lisa
Oh, interesting.
00:35:24:16 - 00:35:45:10
Brandon
Yeah. So like when I started the podcast New Generation Entrepreneur, the intention was let's teach the next generation how to make money and other people how to make money and like have freedom and like can spend more time with their families. And how do we raise like healthy kids and and not like just breaking societal norms that you have to go to college, you have to pick a degree and a career at age 18.
00:35:45:10 - 00:35:59:22
Brandon
And then you got it's like, stick with it, and then you got to go do a 9 to 5 and like, that's just bullshit. You don't have to do that. So that's what the brand originally was. And then we create. And then in that process, I found out I discovered like the video forex and how to use video and taught that.
00:35:59:22 - 00:36:18:03
Brandon
And then I taught messaging and then now it's really interesting because now I'm circling back to where I was at 2018, but I'm actually the person I need to be more now to make that vision come alive than I was back then. So like back then, that vision couldn't come like, so I'm starting to see and like looking back, okay, I needed to go through these things.
00:36:18:05 - 00:36:41:12
Brandon
And so that's what I'm coming back to. But it was very interesting. I also had a conversation with, James last night, and he was like, dude, you've been talking about creating a parenting brand since like 2019. Like it's been a long time. So we created this I this year, I'm messaging I so because that was the other thing I had to realize too is the business model I had.
00:36:41:12 - 00:36:55:23
Brandon
It did not work with my new life, like being a solo parent, you know, and doing that and like having a full works like it doesn't work with my life anymore. I need something different. And I'm like, I don't, and I hate I'm starting it. Resentful students ask me questions and calls and the calls are not great for me anymore.
00:36:55:26 - 00:37:08:18
Brandon
So I'm like, let's. And then I can. I'm like, let's create a messaging I so people don't need to learn this. I can just use this. So that's what we did. We started selling it and I was like, well, we need to sell this. Let's create an example. So let's start a second brand and use the AI to do that.
00:37:08:18 - 00:37:31:29
Brandon
And like there's a startup parenting brand. And in the first 60 days we grew to 1.5 million views and 27,000 followers, all organically. And like, you know, obviously we're using it for marketing because it's like the AI helped us and came with the titles and a lot of the stuff, but also behind the scenes, I'm like, this is also in alignment with where I need to be, which is why the growth is so huge.
00:37:32:01 - 00:37:45:15
Brandon
And so now we're heading into this thing where I'm just going to have multiple businesses and multiple brands, and I'm just going to teach people how to make money and like how to run a business. And we're gonna have an AI business. We're now going to have this parenting brand because it's it's continuing to grow. And I'm not selling anything.
00:37:45:15 - 00:38:02:17
Brandon
We have people literally DMing us like, hey, how do I hire you? And and then we're going to create, like maybe two more, two more businesses, one being a coffee shop. And I'm just going to like the the personal brand. Reynold Sarah is going to be showing people how to run businesses and you don't need a degree anymore.
00:38:02:17 - 00:38:22:18
Brandon
And and so I would have never gotten to this point had I not gone through the divorce and like the business fall apart and, and all that stuff. So it's like the pain is in discomfort is leading me to something better. I wish I was already there because after three years of this, I'm tired. But we're close.
00:38:22:18 - 00:38:26:00
Brandon
We're worth the like. The ball is spinning now. It's moving.
00:38:26:07 - 00:38:30:23
Lisa
What about that parenting brand excites you? The most?
00:38:30:26 - 00:38:51:19
Brandon
Well, I, I just kids like, I just like, I just, I don't know, I think kids are like the most I think kids are the most purest form of human that we're ever going to see. You know what I mean? They're like, they're not indoctrinated to stuff. Yeah. Like depending on their age, they're they're like forming how to navigate the world.
00:38:51:19 - 00:39:15:12
Brandon
But like, like my daughter Maddie, she's she's just turned six. And I'm like I just watch her experience the world that I'm like, it's just so beautiful. She'll like, walk up to groups of people and like, make friends with them. And everything's so fun and exciting. The imagination is huge and I'm like, that's so beautiful. And then like, by the time you get to like 30, a lot of people are just stuck in jobs and lives that they hate.
00:39:15:12 - 00:39:37:23
Brandon
And I'm like, what happened there? Me? And like, we can. That doesn't have to be the way. So I love being able the idea of being able to take that innocence and like beauty in kids and like, like, let's have that as adults. Also. But what really gets me excited too, is I just love communication. And I think communication is literally the reason why things fall apart.
00:39:37:23 - 00:40:06:24
Brandon
Like people don't understand that there's two different perspectives and you're just communicating at your perspective versus theirs. And it's like that, that idea that, that. And I think that, when parents understand that and how to communicate it through the channels that we have is a lot about communication with kids. And, I just love being able to provide more help on how to navigate tough situations between parents and kids, because I think I also think the world would be a better place if we have a lot more healthier relationships with kids and their parents.
00:40:06:26 - 00:40:07:16
Brandon
Like, I just.
00:40:07:16 - 00:40:28:08
Lisa
Think and I think it starts with the parents. And I talk about this a lot, right? Like we can't help our kids create emotional fluency if we don't have emotional fluency ourselves. We can't be in uncomfortable situations with our kids if we haven't learned how to be in our own discomfort. And one of the things that I'm watching right now is.
00:40:28:10 - 00:40:43:29
Lisa
We are trying so hard to move our kids out of the discomfort instead of allowing them to be in it. And I'm really noticing this with my son, with him being in the teenage years, there's a lot of options for kids nowadays. You can really be anything you want a dog, a cat, a girl, a boy. I'm non-binary, right?
00:40:43:29 - 00:41:03:20
Lisa
And I'm not saying those things are right or wrong, but what I am, what I am noticing personally in my own life is puberty is really hard. It's a very uncomfortable time for kids. I've gone through cougar puberty on the other side. So like it was really interesting, right, Jace? And puberty. And I'm going through the other side and it's a very, very uncomfortable time.
00:41:03:20 - 00:41:29:01
Lisa
A lot of things are changing. But now kids can just it's like they're choosing labels as a way of moving themselves out of the discomfort of the normal things that are supposed to happen. And we're supposed to experience during puberty. Right? Right. So it's really the the level of conversations that I'm having to that I'm getting to because I'm, I am grateful that that he will come and talk to me about this stuff.
00:41:29:03 - 00:41:53:04
Lisa
I wouldn't be able to hold space for this and, detach myself. Right. Like, not make it about me. I'm not a good parent because my kids going through this and allow him to have his own journey while being in a place of, I don't really like this, but I'm willing to accept it, I'm willing to support this, and I'm willing to walk beside you on it while still having boundaries and navigating that.
00:41:53:11 - 00:42:05:14
Lisa
But we can't do that as parents if we're so in our own garbage, and if we're so in our own caretaking and pleasing, and because we just want to fix everything for our kids instead of letting them be in that place of discomfort.
00:42:05:17 - 00:42:27:04
Brandon
Yeah. And I think, I think a lot of parents also like when I listen to the way you're talking about it, it's very clear that there's so much responsibility, like on the relationship with you and your kid, that you're taking a lot of the responsibility on as like you're taking your responsibility in that. Yeah. Which I think that same concept a lot of parents don't really understand.
00:42:27:04 - 00:42:43:20
Brandon
They they think the kid needs to listen to me because I'm the parent and I'm like, no, is the authoritarian thing. And then they think there's something wrong with the kid because they're not good listeners. And it's like there's. Which means you're completely dismissing any responsibility on the role. And it's like kids are just responding to the environment they're in.
00:42:43:20 - 00:43:02:25
Brandon
And you as a parent, create the environment and then your traumas help create that. And it's like you set the tone, man, like you're the leader of the family. Like you do that. And and I think that healthy like it's very beautiful to hear that, you know, your son has the safety to be able to come talk to you about all of this.
00:43:02:25 - 00:43:16:05
Brandon
And I just know that just that simple concept is so foreign to parents right now. And I just and no one teaches you this stuff. No. You know what I mean? Like, there's no school. Like, you go to the hospital, you have a baby, and they just hand you a baby, they hand you a human being, and they're like, good luck.
00:43:16:06 - 00:43:16:15
Lisa
Keep it.
00:43:16:15 - 00:43:18:24
Brandon
Alive.
00:43:18:27 - 00:43:39:15
Lisa
Jake. Feel safe with me because I've created emotional safety of myself. But it wasn't always that way. Like, I, you know, when my my older two were young, they're 25 and 24 now, I call myself a dragon mommy because I was like, if they could just behave, then I would feel better. Like that was the belief, right? Like if they could just listen to me, then I wouldn't be disregulated and I wouldn't named it that way.
00:43:39:17 - 00:43:49:18
Lisa
Not even realizing they were dysregulated because I was dysregulated. I was the leader, like my energy lead in the house. Yeah, it took a lot of years for me to figure that out.
00:43:49:20 - 00:43:57:22
Brandon
And understand that it's the opposite. It's like when they listen to me, I'll feel better. And like when you feel better, they'll listen like, that's the way. That's the way it works.
00:43:57:24 - 00:44:13:29
Lisa
Right? You just don't get it. But but that is the work because you have to be willing to sit with your own discomfort. And I didn't want to sit with the part of me that felt like I was a bad mom. Like, I literally felt like I came to this planet and I was not hardwired to be a mother.
00:44:14:01 - 00:44:37:16
Lisa
Like, I didn't get that gene, the other women out there baking cookies at it. But I was here to like world dominance, grow my empire, put all the money in the bank. But be a mom. And how? I ended up with three kids. But now I actually see that this is really part of my path, is how to become a powerful parent and lead other people in learning how to lead themselves so that they can lead this next generation.
00:44:37:18 - 00:44:49:18
Lisa
Because these kids are. I would not want to be a teenager in today's world. No, I would not. I appreciate the fact that I grew up with no cell phones, and my parents didn't know where I was at 11:00 at night.
00:44:49:22 - 00:44:51:04
Brandon
On our social media.
00:44:51:07 - 00:45:09:13
Lisa
Susie's house. Yeah, like so it's just a different it's a really different world. And as parents, we really need to support ourselves to navigate this. So I love that you're stepping into this. Yeah. Stepping into this leadership. Because I truly believe that it's a bigger message that needs to get out there around. Yeah, yeah.
00:45:09:14 - 00:45:35:10
Brandon
And I, I, I think I do obviously, which is why I'm doing it. But you know, it's something I find really interesting. And what you were describing too is like, I what I'm noticing is you it sounds like you found a flow. You found a flow with, like, who you are and what the parenting is. And there wasn't any sort of like I don't know, rigidity in that or I don't know what the right word is, but that's and that's one of the things that led me to the parenting brand was like, I need more flow in my life.
00:45:35:10 - 00:45:55:21
Brandon
Not compartments of like this and then that and then this and then that. And so that's what I loved about the parenting brand is like, I'm I'm in it, man. Like I'm a solo parent of three kids and a and a business. And it was it just became so hard to try to do all of it. Where the parenting brand allows me to do all of it together, it allows me to be.
00:45:55:21 - 00:46:07:15
Brandon
It creates so much flow in my life where I'm like, okay, I'm learning lessons, or I'm like on a walk with my kids. I'm like, hey guys, can I share a lesson on video real quick that I learned and you guys get to listen to and they're like, yeah. And they like, love listening to me record the videos.
00:46:07:15 - 00:46:23:15
Brandon
Sometimes you hear their little voices be like, well, tell them this. And then like, I just, I'm like, this is what I like. There's just so much flow and I'm understanding who I am. And like with the the phase of life I'm in, what I want to do. And it's like all working together.
00:46:23:21 - 00:46:40:25
Lisa
But right now, you know, the other thing that I noticed about you and I wanted to acknowledge, and you've been intentional about this, you don't show your kids on video. Yeah. Right. And one of the things that I've talked about is as parents like you know, we've all got our phones, we're videotaping, but we're not actually asking our kids their permission.
00:46:40:27 - 00:46:58:23
Lisa
Often parents just post their kids without their permission. And that's never going away. So even that like allowing, you know, allowing your kids to have a say whether or not they want to be on your social media or whether or not they want their face shown instead of just assuming, well, this is the way it is now. You're going to be everywhere.
00:46:58:25 - 00:47:14:23
Brandon
Yeah, I think we I did earlier when they were younger. There's a couple like B-roll shots where I'm like throwing them in the air and things like that. But this was actually one of the things when I was married that my wife and I discussed, and I was actually okay putting them on video like, what everyone else is doing and let her.
00:47:14:25 - 00:47:29:03
Brandon
And she just wasn't comfortable with it sound like I'm like, okay, well, I'm gonna respect that. And then, as we went through the divorce process, that was something she brought back up. And by the time we went through the divorce process, her and I were just on the same boat. With that, I'm like, I don't want them on.
00:47:29:10 - 00:47:45:02
Brandon
I don't know who's watching these videos. And, like, like you said, they have not consented or said that they want to. So even when I do do the content, like there's a couple times where I'm like, hey guys, let's do a video. And from a kids perspective and I do not put them on there, but you can hear I'm like, okay, what do you think about this?
00:47:45:02 - 00:47:58:12
Brandon
And I just let the audio play. But there are times where like one of my kids was like, I don't want to be in this video. I'm like, okay. And they want to be like, I want to do it. And so I've been very intentional with that. But also I'm like, I don't know, the world's a crazy place.
00:47:58:12 - 00:48:04:11
Brandon
Like, I don't need yeah, I don't need my kids on social media. I'm trying to avoid that as much as I can, actually.
00:48:04:14 - 00:48:19:22
Lisa
Well, Jake didn't even get a phone until he was God last, last year, and we've tried to really shelter him from it as much as we can. But, you know, eventually it came to the point where we had to get him a phone because it was creating a social isolation for him, because this is how kids connect, right?
00:48:19:22 - 00:48:27:12
Lisa
So it was actually hurting him to not have it, but still learning, like, how are we going to, you know, we still have to establish the boundaries. It's tough man.
00:48:27:15 - 00:48:41:19
Brandon
It is, it is. And we haven't cross that bridge yet. My, my her name's Jacqueline. I don't know why I keep going to my ex, but Jacqueline and I have not, or are on the same page with that. But I do know we're going to have to cross the bridge of, like, when is that going to happen?
00:48:41:19 - 00:49:00:08
Brandon
Because that is one of the things. And I think she again, I don't know, but I have a feeling she's she's going to want to hold off for as long as she can, which I think is is probably the right thing to do. But that is one of my concerns of like, well, if 12 of their friends all have like a group chat that is monitored and it's safe and it's through like an app, like what?
00:49:00:08 - 00:49:08:05
Brandon
And they're now left out and they're excluded and like, that's, that's going to do damage to them too. So it's, you know, it's almost like damned if you do, damned if you don't.
00:49:08:08 - 00:49:30:10
Lisa
Yeah. It's a real thing. And then, you know, wanting to be respectful of his privacy because I've worked with adult clients, obviously, whose parents have really invaded their privacy when they're young, which we have to be mindful of our kids privacy and at the same time letting them have that space with their friends, too, without us reading every single text message, it's a really wild time to navigate parenting.
00:49:30:10 - 00:49:51:03
Lisa
So in many ways, yeah, we could go on and on. Tend to think of like, I have so many questions, but tell me, like, if we were to zoom out three years from now, this is such a classic like NLP thing, right? If we zoom out three years from now, how do you want success to look like for you?
00:49:51:06 - 00:50:15:22
Brandon
I just want to be present to life, I think, and like right now, it's extremely difficult for me to be present all the time. You know, I just, I every it feels like every area of my life that I was very comfortable with and I knew really well, blew up all at the same time. So like the business, my relationship, how I the amount of time I saw my kids, how I parents like how I am.
00:50:15:22 - 00:50:37:03
Brandon
It's it's out like I just everything that was like my biggest identity has got ripped apart and it's not and I mean it's really not easing up. And so when you have these multiple areas that are very like emotionally triggering and just like you are starting to work through stuff and you're sitting in discomfort and then you're getting hit over here, head over here, head over here, which is like very much how my life is like it's like a slack.
00:50:37:03 - 00:50:50:01
Brandon
There's a problem in the business or like revenues over here. And then it's like a bills over here and I'm like, oh my God. And then it's like, I don't know, he's over here. And then it's like, you know, like talking parenting apps coming at you over here. And it's like, well, kids have a problem over here. And there's like here issues that.
00:50:50:01 - 00:50:55:29
Brandon
So I'm like, what the fuck is going on? So like when in the in that is literally how my day is every single day.
00:50:56:02 - 00:50:56:22
Lisa
Every day that I.
00:50:56:22 - 00:51:23:14
Brandon
Just find myself not being as present because something is always pulling me out. And so I think like I would like to be feeling financially comfortable, which I'm not at right now because we're in a very rough, you know, not to get into the weeds of that because it's financially very straining, but also like then when businesses taken a little bit of a dive, it's, it's also really straining.
00:51:23:14 - 00:51:37:24
Brandon
So I don't I'm like at that point like I don't need millions and millions and millions and a mansion and like a Ferrari. But like, if I can just kind of do what I want to do and travel where I want to travel and I'm just like hyper pregnant and I'm doing work that I love, like, that's all.
00:51:37:24 - 00:51:44:22
Brandon
I'm just that would be really great. So three years from now, if I have that, I would be very happy. That would be great.
00:51:44:24 - 00:52:06:01
Lisa
I'm with you on that and I and I hope things ease off, but I trust that you're getting exactly what you need. And when things drop in that it will be very it'll be a very quick turnaround. That's what I've noticed in my business. Like now that I'm really like back in, alignment congruence with myself, things have things have shifted very, very quickly and it's really cool to see.
00:52:06:01 - 00:52:13:20
Lisa
And there is a lot of peace on the other side of that. Although saying that I am still navigating the 14 year old. So there is still a lot. There's still a lot.
00:52:13:26 - 00:52:34:27
Brandon
I mean, there's I like this, it's life. There's always going to be always you. But I think you're I think you're you're right. Like, things can shift very quickly, especially when you're aligned, like back in 2018 when I, when we built our first billion dollar business, we went from like $40,000 in debt to $1 million in sales in like nine months.
00:52:35:04 - 00:52:50:05
Brandon
And like, after the divorce, I was not looking to date anyone, and I was just like, I'm not going to do that for a year. And then all of a sudden something just fell in my lap and I was like, not expecting it. And it just like. And then I was like, whoa, this person is I'm really connecting this person.
00:52:50:05 - 00:53:04:27
Brandon
This person is like, we're very in tune. And it was just like, that happened really, really fast. It was so funny. Sorry. I got to tell you another James story. So I love James. James has been one of the like him, and I have been going through very similar things over the last couple of years. So it's we've been definitely like sharing stories.
00:53:05:00 - 00:53:19:06
Brandon
But he told me, I remember he told me like as soon like when I went through the divorce process, he was like, just be, just know, like the path that we're on. If you're like setting intentions and you're like willing to grow and you know what you want and like you're getting in the flow. It's like things will happen really fast.
00:53:19:06 - 00:53:37:02
Brandon
He's like, I would not be surprised if you found someone like really quickly and like, dude, there's no way I'm not ready for that. I don't want that. And then then I did like a couple months after the divorce and he was just like, told you, like, things can happen really quickly. So I'm with you. I'm just.
00:53:37:02 - 00:53:42:00
Lisa
And I love that for you because I think that she acts as an energetic anchor for you.
00:53:42:02 - 00:53:42:25
Brandon
Yeah, she does.
00:53:42:27 - 00:53:52:11
Lisa
Give you some foundation so that all these other things can be spinning. But you, you know, you have that anchor in your life and you get to practice all these new behaviors.
00:53:52:13 - 00:54:18:19
Brandon
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, constantly growing and it's just a new, you know, experience being with someone like her. And it's not like I'm not saying she's better or worse than any one else for my acts or whatever, but it's just it's just different, you know what I mean? And so it's just it's it's been really great. And you're right, it's like and I started to realize too, like, for what was coming for me in 2025, I needed I needed an emotional anchor.
00:54:18:21 - 00:54:40:12
Brandon
And that's what she's she's been for me and it's, and it's and it's been a very great constant in a world of chaos around me to have like one thing that is a constant dependability, like support, anchor grounding element for me has been like the biggest blessing I could have asked for. Like, I don't know how I would have done 22.
00:54:40:12 - 00:54:48:25
Brandon
I would have because that's just what I do. But it has been a blessing that I've I've been really I'm really grateful that I had that for sure.
00:54:48:27 - 00:55:23:20
Lisa
So I didn't switch partners. But my partner has grown and evolved a lot and I can tell you it it's such a different experience being in a relationship with somebody that you can have those deeper conversations with, who can hold that energy different. It's very, it can be very confronting in my relationship because I see past version and current version, and to be able to have a relationship now that I actually didn't even know is possible, like, I have no frame of reference for what was possible in a healthy relationship because, you know, I was measuring it against other unhealthy relationships that we were better than.
00:55:23:23 - 00:55:25:08
Brandon
Yeah, we were not.
00:55:25:11 - 00:55:37:02
Lisa
We were not. But it really does change the game, too. When you've got that partner that you can count on to be there for you and have those harder conversations with to ground you.
00:55:37:04 - 00:56:03:01
Brandon
Yeah. And you know, think for me and I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing, but like the partner that you have influences how you show up in the world like it has for me. And again, I don't like it's it's not good or bad. It's just it's just this is just my experience. And my experience is that I feel I feel a new level of like safety to be who I am.
00:56:03:04 - 00:56:18:19
Brandon
Yes. But really what gets me really excited is I feel a new level of safety of also like who I'm becoming. Yeah, that that's also not going to alter anything, you know, like that's welcomed and that's like.
00:56:18:21 - 00:56:27:01
Brandon
Well welcome. This is the best word. And so yeah. So it's been it's been really great to like help me evolve into the next version as well.
00:56:27:01 - 00:56:42:10
Lisa
You can see that because I believe that in your relationship there was probably some shrinking because if you get too big, how is it going to trigger that other person and make them feel small? I saw that in my relationship. Right? Like if I continue to get bigger, this is going to fall apart. It would have fallen apart anyways.
00:56:42:13 - 00:57:00:23
Lisa
But I can now see like the unconscious behaviors that I was getting into that were holding me from holding me back, from really stepping into what's possible for me. In terms of making an impact. So I just love your heart. I'm so glad that we finally had the opportunity to connect when we did. Like, it was so serendipitous.
00:57:00:25 - 00:57:18:09
Lisa
And I want nothing but, you know, amazing success and happiness and joy and fulfillment for you in your life. I know that everything is going to be more extraordinary than you can even imagine. So can you tell everybody where they can find you, how you help them? So, you know, we can send you over a few more thousand followers?
00:57:18:09 - 00:57:22:06
Lisa
Yeah, I don't have millions of followers, but I got thousands of followers.
00:57:22:09 - 00:57:40:10
Brandon
Yes. So you can follow me at. I am Brandon Lazaro on Instagram. I think we're on TikTok too. I'm not too sure, but probably. But I am Brandon Lucero. And then if you want to follow the the parenting stuff, you can go to grounded dot parenting. We have Instagram and TikTok. TikTok is where we sell most of our growth.
00:57:40:10 - 00:57:56:18
Brandon
So I'm pretty active over there. You know, working in with people we have, I don't know what we're at 30,000 followers or something over there now, but those two things we want to hear parenting advice head over there. If you just want normal business and life advice and check out what I'm doing. I am Brian Lucero over on Instagram.
00:57:56:19 - 00:57:56:26
Brandon
I love.
00:57:56:26 - 00:58:09:00
Lisa
It. You're just such a grounded, real person to follow and I think I love I. But now more than ever, we really need to find real people who have walked through the fire. Yeah, who listen to, you know.
00:58:09:03 - 00:58:25:14
Brandon
Well, I and I think I think those people like that need to be the ones leading. I also because I is not a shortcut to anything. It's about how are you using it, how do you incorporate your energy into it. And that's that's the thing. So we're talking all that stuff.
00:58:25:16 - 00:58:29:15
Lisa
I appreciate this conversation so much. Thank you for coming on and being so real. Brandon.
00:58:29:20 - 00:58:30:22
Brandon
Thank you for having me.
00:58:30:25 - 00:58:56:24
Lisa
If Brandon's story resonated with you, if you heard yourself in the patterns we talked about today, I created something for you called the Hidden Cost Assessment. It's a simple tool that'll help you see what success is actually costing you, and which success archetype you're running. Go ahead and grab it at Lisa Carpenter, aka Forward slash bonus. Thank you for being here and I will catch you on the next episode.
