EPISODE 293: REVISIT How an Alter Ego Can Change You And Your World

Lisa Carpenter [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the Full Frontal Living Podcast. I'm Lisa Carpenter, master life coach to driven, ambitious humans who want more out of life without having to sacrifice themselves to achieve it. I'll share how it's possible to slow down, take better care of yourself, find more peace and ease, create sustainable energy, stop procrastination and overwhelm and fall in love with your life, your business and your body. This podcast is for you. If you're ready to learn what it takes to thrive as a high performer. Do less but achieve more. Make you and your well being a top priority and create your extraordinary life. I'm so glad you're here.

Lisa Carpenter [00:00:45]:
Well, hey hey listeners. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Full Frontal Living Podcast. I'm excited to be here and today we're going to talk a little bit about your alter ego because this was an episode that I did quite a while back and we just recently re released it. If you haven't heard it, you can go back and listen to that. But I've really been thinking about my alter ego and how it has served me in moving forward. Now this document I wrote back in July 4th of 2016 and you know, when I sat down to write this, this was not who I was. This was not who I was. It was a version of me that lived only in my imagination.

Lisa Carpenter [00:01:33]:
And you know, I've had a lot of people say to me, well, you know, I don't want to be something that I'm not. And creating an alter ego isn't about being something that you're not. It's being more of who you already know you are. But maybe you just don't want to admit it to yourself. In a previous episode when I talked about my return to stage, one of the things that has become evident for me is I really love competing. I love being on stage. I think I have always loved that. I grew up dancing and performing and it has been an element that has really been missing in my life.

Lisa Carpenter [00:02:11]:
I am starting to explore what that might look like beyond just getting on fitness stage because that takes a lot of it's a huge commitment to go on stage for bodybuilding. Whereas if I was, let's say a ballroom dancer, of course I'm throwing that out there because that's totally what I'm considering right now. Not traditional ballroom, but more of the Latin style dances. How would that feel to compete in that? But it was admitting to myself that I do want to be on stage, I do want to be performing. I love that feeling that it brings me it makes me feel like I'm on top of the world. But that has been something that was born out of this alter ego that I wrote. Now, what was really powerful for me is, you know, I refer to this document frequently, and I think that for many of the clients that I work with, and maybe you listening, maybe you've thought about writing an alter ego, but then you're like, what's the point? This document is about writing your future life into existence. And, you know, as I look back over, oh, my God, so many things in my life, I can see that so many things that I have written down have become the truth.

Lisa Carpenter [00:03:36]:
From the house that I live in, the, you know, the relationships in my life, the experiences that I have, it's. I've really come to realize that when I set my intention and even, like, it's like a set it and forget it thing. It's like writing a, you know, wish list to the universe and then letting it go, I can come back in years later, be like, oh, my God, that actually happened. So writing out your alter ego is like writing a message to the universe saying that this is what I want to call in for myself. And, you know, the moment that I stepped out on stage was really the moment I realized that I had truly embodied every part of my alter ego. Now, my alter ego, you know that I'm stepping into her. Well, you may not know this, but I'm going to share it with you. Now, you know that I'm stepping into my alter ego because I will always wear red lipstick, right? So when I need to feel fierce and powerful, I will wear red lipstick.

Lisa Carpenter [00:04:44]:
Because for most of my life, I was hiding in plain sight. In fact, I had a story that I couldn't wear red lipstick because it would look silly on me. But the truth was, I just didn't want to stand out. Because when you wear red lipstick, a woman who can pull off red lipstick, I mean, she's something else. Am I right or am I right? Right. Like, it's a very bold. Whereas, you know, I'm often like, I'll just take the neutral pink color. And don't get me wrong, I'm totally the neutral pink color girl, too.

Lisa Carpenter [00:05:16]:
I talk about, you know, I have range, but when I need to step into that fierce, bold part of me, I will always wear red lipstick. And red lipstick is like, tyler is here. That is the name of my alter ego, Tyler, spelled spelled T Y, L, E, R, E. And I've even had a previous client for my gosh, was it for My birthday, it doesn't matter. But she sent me a red lipstick that was inscribed with Tyler on it. And it's one of the most favorite gifts I have ever forgotten because it is just such a reminder, like, go be her. And when I went to compete in Vegas, I brought that lipstick with me. I specifically chose for my theme wear round red, because I knew I wanted to wear my red lipstick.

Lisa Carpenter [00:06:07]:
I knew I wanted to walk out on stage embodying the full essence of Tyler, because when I created her, she was just this bold. I am here. Watch me roar. She was unapologetic about going after what she wanted. She didn't care what anybody thought of her. She lived just ferociously, like, just wildly confident. And her energy was the thing that really made her stand out. And for most of my life, I turned down the volume on my energy because me standing out made other people uncomfortable.

Lisa Carpenter [00:06:53]:
And I hear this all the time from clients that I work with. And as women, we are so often told, like, you know, turn it down. Don't make them feel bad. You don't want to have. You know, don't have an ego. Don't stand out too much. What will other people think? Be nice. That's a good one.

Lisa Carpenter [00:07:10]:
Be nice. Like, we can't be bold and be nice at the same time. You can. You can be confident and know you are here to do big things and not be, like an egotistical maniac. It's just. You can have both. It's a both. And so, you know, it's fascinating for me to now realize and fully embody the fact that my alt.

Lisa Carpenter [00:07:35]:
I don't need an alter ego anymore because I have become that version of myself. There is Nothing on my 2016 document because I've got it up in front of me. That isn't true for me now. But I remember when I wrote it, and I was like, this is like a pipe dream, man. If I could do this, what would that be like? So do I need an alter ego anymore? Quite frankly, no. And that's pretty powerful. What would be possible for you if you were to allow yourself to put pen to paper and think about, what is it that I want in my life? How do I want to be showing up? How do I want to be showing up in my relationship with myself? How do I want to be showing up in my relationship with other people? What are the things that I want to call in in my life? Look at the things that you're struggling with. If they weren't a struggle anymore, how would your life Be different? How would that alter ego part of yourself handle the situation that you're struggling with? Would she tolerate the struggle, or would she be more committed to you thriving? Does your alter ego listen to her intuition or does she just go along to get along? Does your alter ego feel empowered, or does she live in fear? Fear of what will other people think? Fear of getting it wrong.

Lisa Carpenter [00:09:15]:
Fear of not feeling good enough. The amazing thing about your alter ego, when you really understand what it's here for, that it's not about pretending, pretending to be something that you're not. It's about writing and breathing life into who you really are and who you truly want to be. I didn't become something different. I became who I always was. Without all the bullshit layered on top, right? Without all the bullshit layered on top. And here, as I sit here reading it, see, now I've scrolled past it and I need to find it. I wrote in here, she has no fear of adventure and will hop on a plane anytime she has the chance to see the world and experience all that life has to offer.

Lisa Carpenter [00:10:12]:
She doesn't let the rules of the world dictate how she lives. She knows that life is meant to be lived fully and that success and fulfillment will never be found behind a computer screen. Listeners, I got on a plane during a global pandemic, right? And I watch so many of you, and I know that we are living with different mandates and rules and this, that, and the other thing. But so many of you are not going out and living your lives right now out of fear. Out of fear. So what kind of decisions would your alter ego be making? What things aren't you giving yourself now because you're afraid? And are you going to continue to allow fear to hold you back from living your life? Because, to be quite honest, we are so afraid of dying that we are missing the point of living. And the only thing that is guaranteed in this life is that none of us are getting out alive. So, yes, I understand we all want to be here for a great length of time, but how many years of your life are you going to waste living in fear? So there are lots of things that you can do right now to make sure that you are taking good care of yourself, physically and emotionally, which means you are less likely to get sick.

Lisa Carpenter [00:11:29]:
All right? So I'm not going to go down that rabbit hole because I've done many episodes on what it truly means to take care of yourself. But, you know, how does your alter ego want to be moving forward? Because we're not going back. Like, we can't go back. There is no back. Not going back to life before COVID It's. What kind of life do you want to create your. For yourself, moving forward? Because it's going to look different now. What are you attached to and maybe are willing to let go of? So you can explore all of these things using your alter ego, because it becomes this game of pretend, right? It's like playing dress up when you were a little girl and you put on your mom's clothes and shoes and makeup and you pretended what it would like to be, you know, when you're all grown up.

Lisa Carpenter [00:12:17]:
I mean, I remember sitting in elementary school pretending I was a secretary, and I had a pretend keyboard on my desk. And, you know, pretend like, you know, phone. You remember back in the day, like, phones, and there would be multiple lines, and we would pretend your alter ego is you pretending about one of the things that, you know, things that you want to bring into your life. So I'm going to be diving in. You know, I've thought a lot about this because multiple times now, I've said I need to revise my altered ego. I need to look at where I can even turn up the volume on her now. But the truth is, I don't need to revise my alter ego, because the place that I'm living from now, I've embodied this person, right? This character so much. She is me.

Lisa Carpenter [00:13:00]:
I am her. I can just create from that space. I don't need to create more on paper, because if I just live from her energy, the energy that I've already embodied, this woman that I have become, anything is possible from this place. Whereas when I first wrote this, like, I said, I was like, oh, my God. Like, I don't know if this is possible for me, but I'm just going to write this and see what happens. It's pretty amazing now. You know, like I said, when I stepped out on that stage, red lipstick, red outfit, you know, my ferocious, bold, fierce self, it was. It was like that moment, like, this is it, Lisa.

Lisa Carpenter [00:13:46]:
You are here. You are her. She is you. And how can you bring that now back into your life? And that's why I say, you know, in one of the last episodes, I said, so much shifted for me that moment I walked out on stage because it was truly that moment of embodying everything that I put into motion that person that I wanted to become back in 2016. And to be able to work from that place now and expand even further is really powerful. If you have not listened to that episode yet. I encourage you to go back. I encourage you to sit down and consider, what would your alter ego be like? Who do you.

Lisa Carpenter [00:14:28]:
When you look around, who do you admire? What things do other people have that maybe you are envying them? And instead of envying it, saying, you know what? I'm going to admit to myself that I envy it because I want it. Because the longer you stay in a place of envy, you're actually pushing what you want away from yourself instead of just admitting to yourself, you know what? I want that. I want that thing she has. I want that business. I want that type of relationship. I want my body to look and feel that way. I want to be able to get on a plane or I want to be able to do these things. Admit to yourself that you want it and start creating your own alter ego.

Lisa Carpenter [00:15:04]:
How do you want to feel? How do you want to care for yourself when you get out of bed in the morning? What is important to you? What drives you? What values are you not honoring? And then put this document up where you can see it and read it and refer to it every now and then. And I am telling you, I did not refer to my alter ego document all the time. But when I wrote it, it was so like, it just the process of writing it was like, oh, my God, yes, yes. And in certain situations, I would ask myself, okay, what would my alter ego do? Right? I would have, you know, before I had my red lipstick, I would have other things as well. You know, reminders that I would wear kind of like these talismans that would remind me, go be her. Go be your alter ego. So, you know, if I was going to an in person event, remember back in the day when we got to do those things in person events, you know, I would show up like, okay, Lisa, channel that part of you. Let Tyler lead.

Lisa Carpenter [00:16:10]:
Lean into that. So this is a short but sweet episode. But I thought it was really important to share with you guys what is possible when you start to create that version of yourself and then you allow the universe to start moving things around. It's kind of like universal Tetris to rearrange things in your favor. Because just by writing that document will start to shift your energy and then really referring to it and remembering her or him. Because I've got lots of guys that listen. Remembering her or him, when you're in certain scenarios where, you know, you need to channel that part of you, it's kind of like, you know, when Beyonce walks out on stage, she used to channel her alter ego, which was Sasha fierce. But she doesn't have to do that anymore because she understands now that she can be Sasha fierce and she can be Beyonce.

Lisa Carpenter [00:17:10]:
And that's what my alter ego really allowed me to do and step into, is understand that I get to have this entire range. I don't need to put myself into a bo. I can show up as a powerful coach with over two decades of experience helping to transform the lives of men and women from around the globe. And I can walk out on stage wearing a very sparkly small bikini with wings or feathers or whatever, with false eyelashes that are, like, could knock out somebody standing beside me. Glammed up hair and makeup. I can be that, too. One doesn't take away from the other. I can be generous and kind and loving, and I can also fiercely stand in my confidence, in my power, knowing who I am.

Lisa Carpenter [00:18:01]:
I don't have to shrink that down for anybody. If that makes you uncomfortable, that's a you problem, not a me problem. Whereas for most of my life, I made that a me problem. Right? Are you making how you show up in the world a you problem? Instead of recognizing, oh, wait a minute, I get to be who I am, and if they don't like that or if that rubs them the wrong way, that's a them problem. So you get to. You get to decide all of that. So have fun playing around with this. This has been one of the most powerful transformation tools I have ever used.

Lisa Carpenter [00:18:43]:
I will continue to sing it from the rafters. There's lots of different books out there on it, but honestly, like, it doesn't have to be that complicated. You just have to allow yourself to admit to yourself the things you want. The areas you know you're playing small in, right, where you're not having a voice, where you're not wearing the things you maybe want to wear or saying the things you want to say or the places you're not going to or the projects you want to start or the goals and the dreams that you have that you haven't been allowing yourself to have. Maybe you're watching someone like me and think, God, I want more of that. Like, how can she just set such powerful boundaries? How does she say no so easily? These are all things that you can weave into that version of yourself that you want to create and then start to live a little bit more from that place. What if I said no today? What might happen? I guarantee you're probably not going to die. And you will grow.

Lisa Carpenter [00:19:53]:
There was a lot of discomfort as I became this person as I integrated Tyler into my being. There was a lot of discomfort. There were a lot of tears. There were a lot of moments of resistance. But all of it has led me to where I am today. And I couldn't be more grateful and I couldn't be more proud of myself for doing this work, which is why I'm encouraging you to step into it. Because I've said this time and time again, I am not some magical unicorn. What is available to me is available to you.

Lisa Carpenter [00:20:29]:
The only difference between you and I is that I made the commitment to working on myself, not because I believed I was broken, but because I knew I wanted more. I knew I wanted more, and I stopped making myself wrong for wanting more. I knew I wanted to feel. I was so tired of feeling like I was constantly looking for the thing that was going to make me happy, yet never feeling happy, never feeling fulfilled, never feeling like anything was good enough. If you want to change your life, you have to make the decision that you are going to be committed to changing your life. And if you are struggling to do that on your own, then reach out. I am not for everybody. I am not for everybody.

Lisa Carpenter [00:21:19]:
If you are going to work with me, one of the things you have to understand is that you are going to need to be committed. Not to me, but committed to yourself. Because there are going to be moments where it gets hard and it doesn't feel good. And you are going to have to stay present to those emotions and probably still go do the thing. If you keep doing what you are doing, you are going to keep getting more of what you have already got. If you think about that, where are you going to be in another six months or a year from now? Are you still going to be listening to this podcast, feeling inspired, but then looking around at your life, realizing that nothing in your life has changed? You're not going to create an extraordinary life by living vicariously through mine. I want you to create the life you want for yourself. I want you to become that person that you know is inside you.

Lisa Carpenter [00:22:17]:
And listen, I understand about. You know, when I wrote this again, I was like, oh, I don't know how this is going to be possible. I'm just going to write it. I'm not going to be attached to it. I'm just going to write it, right? It's a living document. It's a breathing document. I can change things. I can add things to it I wasn't attached to.

Lisa Carpenter [00:22:39]:
When? Well, when is this going to come true? I just started thinking about how I could be more like my alter ego. When I was showing up in different situations, very similar to how I went through my show prep, I didn't know if I would be able to get out on stage, but I was committed. Are you committed? Are you really committed to your growth? Or are you committed to just doing the things that make you believe that you're growing? Like consuming all the self help books, consuming all the podcasts, listening to all the things? But are you actually taking those things and then transferring them into your life? Are you actually starting to show up differently because you can't just like consume your way to transformation. It doesn't happen that way. There's so much here for you. And moving forward, I'm going to be speaking even more strongly around those of you who are truly ready to make change in your life, because that is what I am here for. I don't want to see you stuck in your struggle. I don't want to see you addicted to your suffering.

Lisa Carpenter [00:23:52]:
I'm here for the men and women who are ready to release their bullshit and claim their own extraordinary lives and are willing to be committed to doing the work that it's going to take to get there. And it's not for everybody, because it takes a lot of courage, right? Takes a lot of commitment, takes a lot of courage. But for the right men and women, this work is life changing. Life changing. I can't even imagine how that old version of me, you know, over 10 years ago, how I would have even managed this. I would have been so burnt out, frazzled, living in fear, crying, having emotional outbursts, behaving badly. All of these things that we're seeing a lot of people get into right now. Everybody's fighting for control.

Lisa Carpenter [00:24:42]:
Control is all about fear. That would have been me had I not done this work. I would have been pissed off that people didn't see my perspective. I would have been frustrated that things weren't different. I would have been attached to being a victim and look what's happening to me and blah, blah, blah, right? Whereas now I don't live as a victim. So I don't like everything that's going on in the world. But you know, my alter ego, that part of me, she knows she always has choice in her life. I always have choice.

Lisa Carpenter [00:25:16]:
Those choices might be hard, but I always have choice. You always have choice. So that really, in a nutshell, is what's possible for you when you just start by claiming and writing your alter ego and have fun with it, right? Don't get into perfection. Don't complicate it. Don't you know you're not writing a dissertation? Let it be fun. Allow it to be easy. Right? The things that make you prickly. You're like, oh my God, I want to write this, but I don't want to write this.

Lisa Carpenter [00:25:48]:
Write it. Nobody's going to come edit your paper. Nobody's going to tell you, like, oh my God, you can't have that. It's only for you. And then sit back and read that paper because that paper, everything in your alter ego is the truth about you and what is possible for you because you can't put to paper what some part of you doesn't believe. And then go to work on embodying him or her and see what might be possible for you. Until the next episode. Remember, no one's coming to save you.

Lisa Carpenter [00:26:26]:
You are responsible for making yourself a priority in your life. You are responsible for your physical and emotional well being. And all of these things are very, very important right now. It's part of living your life from an empowered place. And when we're living from an empowered place, the impact that we can have on the world is so much more profound. So if you're like me and you know there's more available for you and you want to have a more positive impact in the world, then roll up your sleeves and get committed to doing the work that's required in order for you to let go of everything that isn't serving you. So you can head over to my website, LisaCarpenter CA WWM if you're ready, when you're ready now you are ready to book that first transformational call with me. I guarantee you you're not going to walk away from that hour the same person.

Lisa Carpenter [00:27:27]:
Much love and I will see you on the next episode.