You’ve achieved more than most people, but if you’re honest, it’s come at a cost — to your health, your relationships, your energy, maybe even your sense of peace. And here’s the kicker: no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough.
In this very first episode of Congruent, Lisa Carpenter pulls back the curtain on the truth about success. Why do so many high-achieving men and women deny or downplay their success? Why does “making it” rarely feel the way we imagined it would? And what does it actually take to create success that sustains you instead of drains you?
Lisa shares her own story of chasing achievement while never feeling successful, and how a life-changing season forced her to embody everything she’d been teaching for over a decade. She reveals the hidden costs of “do-er mode,” the patterns that keep ambitious people stuck, and the shifts required to build a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
- Why success often comes with hidden costs.
- The gap between how others see you and how you see yourself.
- The real reason nothing ever feels like enough.
- The difference between numbing with busyness vs. living in congruence.
- What congruent success looks and feels like.
- What to expect from this podcast each week.
If you’ve been chasing achievement but still feel unfulfilled, exhausted, or disconnected, this episode will help you see that you’re not broken — you’ve been conditioned. And there’s a different way forward.
👉 Ready to uncover where you’re out of alignment? Book your free 15-minute Congruency Audit.
Subscribe now so you don’t miss next week’s episode: The Real Cost of Over-Doing (and How to Break the Cycle Without Losing Your Ambition).
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:33:12
You built success that looks damn good on the outside, but inside it's costing you your health, your relationships, your energy. And no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough. Welcome to Congruent. I'm Lisa Carpenter, the coach. High performers call when they can afford to burn it all down, but they can't keep living like this either.
00:00:33:14 - 00:00:58:24
Here we rip off the mask of success and expose what's real. The patterns that you keep running, the price that you've paid, and how to build success that fuels you instead of empties you. Real success is agency. It's powerful self leadership to run your life instead of being run by it. To let your drive and your well-being finally work together.
00:00:58:27 - 00:01:11:04
Because the real win is success. That actually feels good.
00:01:11:04 - 00:01:31:27
welcome to the very first episode of Congruent. Maybe you've been following me for a while. Maybe you're a long time listener of the full frontal doing podcast. Or maybe this is your very first time finding me on Apple Podcasts, Bottega, Spotify, or wherever you're listening. However, if you landed here, I'm so glad you did.
00:01:32:00 - 00:01:59:08
Now let's start by naming the truth. You've achieved more than most people around you, but if you're honest, it's come at a cost. Maybe your health, your relationships, or your sense of peace. And here's the irony. Most successful people I meet downplay or even deny their success. Have you ever noticed that we keep chasing the next thing, raising the bar, and often it never feels like enough?
00:01:59:10 - 00:02:23:19
And I know this feeling really well. For years, I collected certifications, I'd built programs, I'd built an in-person practice, I'd moved it to an online practice. I wrote a bestselling book. I grew a business where I was coaching people around the globe. And from the outside, everything to everybody. It looked like I was enjoying massive amounts of success.
00:02:23:21 - 00:02:49:11
But on the inside, I never felt like it was good enough. There was always another achievement to chase. There was always something I was measuring myself against. And the truth was that success never felt like how I thought it was going to feel. And for me personally, there were things specifically that were missing that really caused me to think, Well, I don't get to feel successful yet.
00:02:49:14 - 00:03:14:12
Now, here's the reframe that I want you to sit with. What if success isn't a destination? What if it has nothing to do with our circumstances and everything to do with how you feel on the inside? Because that's what this podcast is all about. So let's talk about why this podcast is called Congruent and why I knew it was time for a shift from full frontal living.
00:03:14:15 - 00:03:40:24
Because some of you might be wondering, well, what happened to full frontal living? I launched that podcast back in 2018 because I wanted to give myself a voice beyond Instagram at that time. I think we were allowed 32nd clips to speak our mind. Maybe it was even 15 seconds and I have a lot to say. So I decided that I would start a podcast and I would give myself permission to talk about whatever subjects I wanted to talk about.
00:03:40:26 - 00:04:12:24
And I could give myself as much time. It became my playground. It's been raw and unfiltered and honest, and it was also a training ground for me. Now we've launched over 300 episodes as full frontal living, but it was time for a change. It was time for the podcast to evolve because I had evolved. Congruent was born out of a season that really could have broken me.
00:04:12:27 - 00:04:45:24
But what it revealed instead was just how deeply I have embodied this work and that was so powerful for me to recognize. I didn't get into overworking, overdoing, I didn't numb out, I didn't stuff down my emotions. I didn't distract myself. I stepped fully into being responsible for walking the path that I was directed down because of the circumstances that had changed in my life.
00:04:45:27 - 00:05:09:01
And this was in such contrast to where I was over a decade ago, which was when I found out that my partner was an addict, an active addict. And he went off to rehab. And I decided that I was going to look at my role in the relationship because it's so easy to blame and point fingers at other people as to why our lives are the way they are.
00:05:09:04 - 00:05:29:20
But the truth is, there's nothing in our life without our permission. And when we take full ownership and responsibility for the role that we're playing in the circumstances of our lives, this is when we start to change our lives. Now, at that time, I was hiding behind a million different maps of who I thought I was. I was numbing my emotions.
00:05:29:23 - 00:05:51:07
I was tying all my work to achievements. I was constantly trying to prove myself. And what I didn't realize at the time was I was staying busy to avoid feeling. And really, I was staying busy to avoid the deep feelings of not feeling like I was good enough. Which is also why I could never give myself that sense of success.
00:05:51:09 - 00:06:13:22
Now, this time, when everything kind of blew up in 2023, it was like an atom bomb went off in my life. I walked headfirst into the grief and allowed myself to feel. I used all the tools in my toolbox that I've cultivated over the years that protect my well-being. I still prioritized my my health, emotional and physical health.
00:06:13:25 - 00:06:37:03
I also allowed myself to deepen my relationships, and it allowed me to really see how far I've even come in my relationship with my money, which for many of you is a big part of what defines success. And here's the both and of congruence. You can go through massive changes and still prioritize yourself. That's what I want you to know.
00:06:37:05 - 00:07:06:04
Your well-being and your relationship. Congruence isn't about being perfect. I certainly wasn't perfect, but it is about noticing your patterns course correcting when you're off and staying in integrity with yourself. So that's why this podcast had to evolve. Full frontal living was the beginning. It was learning how to feel, how to be fully expressed. Understanding the patterns that I was living from and congruent is the next chapter.
00:07:06:07 - 00:07:28:10
It's not just about stripping away the mask, but actually living in alignment every single day because life is always going to life. But how you move through it changes when you are truly living from a congruent place. And I don't just teach this. I spent well over a decade now coaching ambitious, high performing people through these exact struggles.
00:07:28:12 - 00:07:53:16
I know the toll it takes and I also know that the freedom is possible. So. Exactly. So who exactly am I talking to here? Let's get real about who this podcast is for, because if you're listening, I have a feeling you're going to recognize yourself in this. So this is for the doers, the responsible ones, the people everyone relies on, the ones who look like they've got it all together.
00:07:53:18 - 00:08:19:23
But underneath the cost is catching up. Maybe your body is telling the story. Your energy might be up and down like a yo yo. Your sleep is probably crappy. The midway spread has shown up and if I'm on point, there is a low grade anxiety that kind of hums in the background. You know you need to eat better and nourish your body and you know you need to move more.
00:08:19:25 - 00:09:02:08
But there never seems to be enough time. Or if you have the time, you don't have the energy. Maybe it's showing up in your relationships. You're reactive at home. You want 5 minutes to yourself, but your kids just want your presence. Even friendships might feel like obligations and not something that is really filling you up right now. Loved ones can start to feel like a demand, and you might even be at that place where you just you don't want anybody to talk to you or even touch you while at the same time, even though you be you feel you might feel resentful for managing all the moving pieces.
00:09:02:11 - 00:09:28:19
There's a part of you that also takes pride in the fact that you can manage all the pieces. So maybe this is also showing up with your money. You've built wealth, maybe even some time freedom, but it never feels like enough. And that means you're living with this quiet feeling of scarcity. You rarely let yourself enjoy what you've created, and security is always seeming a little bit fragile.
00:09:28:20 - 00:10:01:28
And listen, I have worked with clients who have built multimillion dollar businesses and have struggled to feel safe and secure with their money and have truly struggled to even allow themselves to feel successful. And these are businesses that they've built from the ground up, from nothing. From the outside, everybody would think that they have everything they want, but they really still struggle in their relationship with their money and in their relationship with defining what success is for them.
00:10:02:00 - 00:10:28:16
So this might also be showing up in your work from the outside. Your achievements are impressive. I know mine were from the outside, but inside it's often fueled by over responsibility and perfectionism. You are often praised for being the capable one, but that praise can keep you trapped. You keep hoping the right productivity hacker system will fix it, but it never does.
00:10:28:18 - 00:10:49:06
And I know that this showed up for me a lot because I was constantly chasing those achievements and I was always striving to be the best. Like, if I could just nailed this video, if I could just nail this thing that I wanted to say, then that that sense, that feeling of success that was eluding me would finally show up.
00:10:49:09 - 00:11:15:21
But it never actually happened that way. It didn't matter how perfect I made things. And how do you even measure that? Success wasn't mine because I wouldn't allow myself to grab hold of it. So. And maybe this is also you. It's in your head. Meaning that you know better. And you'd probably tell yourself, you know better because you've read the books, you've done the programs.
00:11:15:24 - 00:11:43:00
Maybe you've even spent some time in therapy. You are growth minded, but you also know the same patterns keep repeating and you're frustrated because you cannot figure out why. You probably get into overwhelm and overthinking, and you might even believe that you block discipline when in truth, what most of my clients are hyper disciplined, but they're just hyper disciplined in ways that are depleting them.
00:11:43:02 - 00:12:13:13
And loneliness. Oh my goodness. The clients that I work with often have this underlying sense of loneliness because they are responsible for so many things. Well, everybody is assuming you're fine, but underneath it you're carrying this piece silently. So here's the kicker. As I just said, most people in your life think you're fine. So you carry of that carry all of this silently and that isolation, that that feeling of isolation is exhausting in itself.
00:12:13:15 - 00:12:39:14
And here's the truth. Fulfillment feels like a fairy tale that you were sold along side of, alongside of success. I know you get what I'm talking about because outwardly you feel successful, but inwardly, you know, you're exhausted and you're wondering quietly if this is just the price of success. So if you're sitting there listening to me and nodding along, let's talk about what it what's actually in this for you?
00:12:39:16 - 00:13:00:05
Because you don't have to keep living this way. Here's the good news. I want you to know you're not broken and you're certainly not alone. And the patterns you're stuck in aren't proof that you're feeling their conditioning and real success. What I want you to know is that real success isn't a finish line. It's not a bank account or an accolade.
00:13:00:08 - 00:13:32:10
Real success is about how you feel on the inside. Congruence means that your outer life looks good, but your inner life also feels as good. So imagine ambition without depletion, because I am certainly not here to take away your drive and ambition. I am a woman with very big, audacious goals, but they just come from a very healthy, grounded place now versus chasing, wanting to feel like I'm enough.
00:13:32:12 - 00:13:58:22
Imagine waking up with energy versus dread and trying to figure out how you're going to get through another day. Relationships that nourish you instead of drain you. And I'm talking about the relationship with yourself as well and actually enjoying the wealth and freedom you've worked so hard to create. Because you get to feel anchored, calm and steady, grounded, even when life throws you curveballs.
00:13:58:22 - 00:14:25:16
Because let's face it, they're always going to be coming at you, but you can choose how you're going to respond to those curveballs. And here's the urgency. You don't have to wait for burnout or a breakdown to change. You can start now. And that's what's possible here with this podcast. So what is it? What does it actually look like?
00:14:25:18 - 00:14:49:19
Let me show you some of the course shifts you can expect as you step into congruence. And by showing up every week and tuning into the podcast, you will start to understand an experience that boundaries can become second nature. And if you don't know what a boundary is, we are going to be talking about that. You are going to experience what prioritizing yourself means.
00:14:49:25 - 00:15:11:09
When it's not optional, you'll stop living by shoulds and start making decisions based on what you value most. You'll learn how to pivot quickly when something feels out of alignment so that you can get back into congruence with yourself. You'll understand your patterns and use awareness to shift instead of shame yourself. You'll no longer be ruled by reactivity.
00:15:11:09 - 00:15:40:09
I know we've all been there. Your energy will be steady and your presence will deepen. Your relationships will shift from feeling like an obligation to energetic reciprocity. You'll trust the wealth you've built and actually get to enjoy it. You'll stop identifying as the doer and start living as someone anchored and congruent. And most importantly, a baseline of enough ness takes the place of this endless chase of more.
00:15:40:11 - 00:16:12:09
This is a reclamation, a redefining of success, not based on what you were sold, but on what you consciously choose to create. So how are we going to explore all of this together here on the podcast? Let me tell you what you can expect each week. Raw, Real, unfiltered conversations. That is not changing. There is no polished perfectionism and there is no bias, although I will admit that now that I am in my fifties, I do tend to have to use notes a little bit more than when I was younger.
00:16:12:10 - 00:16:37:07
I know you get that all the ladies out there who are going through perimenopause and menopause. You're going to continue to hear solo episodes from me with my stories, insights and tools that you can apply that is not going to change. But I'm also going to be having on more guest conversations with people who've walked through the cost of success and found their way to fulfillment the struggles and the challenges that they have faced from a very real, honest and raw place.
00:16:37:08 - 00:16:59:04
We're not talking surface level here. It's not about promotion. I want real life stories about what people have gone through to achieve the life that they have now, so that you can see that we are all normal. It doesn't matter what level of success somebody is at, I guarantee you it has come at a cost and I want to know what those costs were to them and how they worked through it.
00:16:59:07 - 00:17:26:01
We're also going to do some real time coaching sessions, which I've done a few of these on the Full Frontal Living podcast, where I'm doing an actual coaching session that we will publish so that you can hear what it's like to be in my world, what it's like to coach with me. And I'm sure you're going to gain major insights just from listening to somebody else getting coached, because I believe that when I work with somebody that many people benefit from that conversation.
00:17:26:03 - 00:17:49:14
We're going to talk about of course, your physical and emotional well-being, your relationships, money, energy and how to stop running on autopilot. I want you to stop doing the things you think you should and start consciously building a personal and professional life that feels good. How does that sound? So every week you're going to walk away with something practical to reflect on and to apply to your own life.
00:17:49:17 - 00:18:14:01
This podcast isn't meant to just be aspirational or inspiring. I want it to encourage you to take action in your own life. So I want to thank you for being here. Whether you've been with me since the beginning of full frontal living or if you're your brand new, I'm really glad you're here. And if you've been nodding along because you know the way you've been living isn't sustainable.
00:18:14:03 - 00:18:32:29
You are so in the right place. You don't have to keep caring success in a way that drains you. So I'd love for you to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's ahead and share this podcast with someone you know who probably presents as very successful. But now I hope I've just, you know, leveled the playing field that we are all human.
00:18:32:29 - 00:18:58:14
And it doesn't matter what level of success you're at, whether you acknowledge that success or not, you can't escape being human. Nobody gets out of that, regardless of what level they are in life. And I don't even know how we assign levels because, you know, there's no measuring tape for levels of success. So I just want you to know that you don't have to keep carrying success in a way that drains you.
00:18:58:17 - 00:19:26:29
So if you're ready for more clarity, we've also opened up what we're calling 15 minute congruence audits. This isn't another thing to add to your to do list. It's a simple, focused conversation where you'll uncover where your version of responsibility has been costing you, where your energy is leaking, and the first shifts that will change anything. And before we wrap up today, let me leave you with an invitation and a powerful truth to carry with you.
00:19:27:01 - 00:19:53:02
Success that costs you everything isn't really success. Congruent is about creating success that sustains you, where your health, your relationships and your peace of mind matter just as much as your achievements. You don't have to keep carrying this alone. There is another way to live, and we're going to explore it here together. So stay with me. The shift you've been searching for starts right here.
00:19:53:05 - 00:19:56:24
So I will catch you on the next episode.
