EPISODE 296: Personal Responsibility and Global Change

Lisa Carpenter [00:00:02]:
Well, hey, hey. And thank you for joining me for another episode of the Full frontal living podcast, Man 2025. And we are in it. I've seen some memes going around on social media talking about, you know, we, we've had our first seven day trial and we would like to return our subscription. I am still optimistic and I truly, truly believe that even with all of the awful things that are happening in the world, I have come to believe that all of these things, whether we understand them or not, have to happen for our growth. And that can be really, really hard, especially when we're talking about, you know, whether it's people over in the Middle east, other parts of the world or in la, people who are losing their homes, it is so hard for so many people to hold onto that belief that everything is happening exactly as it needs to be. But it has been my experience, especially over the last decade of my life, that so many good things happen on the other side of destruction. And unfortunately, transformation more often than not requires destruction.

Lisa Carpenter [00:01:25]:
It requires us waking up to see perspectives that we've never seen before or embrace things that we've never seen before. And now more than ever before, excuse me. I truly believe that we are needing connection, we are needing community. We are needing to look at our world in a different way. We are needing to look at the people who are leading us, who we've put in these leadership roles that we've trusted. We're going to have to start evaluating what is happening, what is our role in the world? What do we need to show up and look at? What is their role? And you know, as you've heard me say many, many times before, if you've been listening for any amount of time, we draw a circle outside of our feet. We stand inside that circle and everything inside the circle is pretty much what we are responsible for. We cannot be responsible for things, other people, places and things, unless we've got minor children.

Lisa Carpenter [00:02:29]:
And of course, that that's pretty much it. We can only be responsible for how we chose, how we choose to show up in this world and support ourselves and other people. And I believe that now more than ever, we really do need to be sinking into this transformational work, whatever it may be, for you to look at the places of our own lives that we need to take more responsibility for so that regardless of the circumstances of in our lives, regardless of what happens in and around us or for us, that we will be able to navigate. So just a reminder that I do have a private podcast called Sustainably Strong. I recorded that entire series when life was lifing me so, so hard. They are all foundational, actionable steps that you can take to make sure that you're taking care of yourself regardless of what's going on. And it is really, really challenging when we are watching other people suffer and go through hard times to not get sucked into that because we want to care. We want, we want to be there for people and we have to be able to care for ourselves.

Lisa Carpenter [00:03:46]:
Because if you want to be able to give back in this world, you have to have something to give from. And that requires pouring into yourself first. So it's not an either or, it's a both. And you can take care of yourself and then you will have more to support and take care of other people. And, and like I said, you know, it is, it is just nine days into 2025, as at the time that I'm recording this and I'm just like, wow, what, what is happening? I think it's also really important. This is going to be a relatively short episode as well that we can get into stories about, you know, we're not doing enough or we should do more or we should be talking about this. And I know that I, you know, I've had people imply to me that I should be saying more about different things in the world, whether it's, you know, about what's going on in Gaza, whether it's what's going on in la. And there are often times where I choose not to share my perspective on certain things that are happening for a whole variety of reasons.

Lisa Carpenter [00:04:52]:
Sometimes I do share. During the COVID years, I was very, very vocal around my perspective because my entire career has been wrapped around encouraging and supporting men and women to be become responsible for their health and well being. Like there's nobody, nobody else is, as I just said, nobody else is responsible for making sure you are healthy and well. That is a job you cannot outsource. And it is up to each and every one of us to make sure we're feeling healthy and well. And when things like, you know, pandemics roll into town, how much effort and energy you've put into caring yourself will partly determine the outcome. And so during, during the COVID years, I was very, very outspoken around my perspective on that and where everybody could be doing their part to make sure they're maintaining wellness. So if you're eating at McDonald's every week and slurping back, you know, two liters of Coke, you are going to be at greater risk for getting sick.

Lisa Carpenter [00:05:54]:
That's that's just the bottom line. So because that is really fully aligned with a value that I have been speaking, speaking out about for years and years and years, I felt very, very confident in speaking out about that. Now with some of the other things that are going on in the world, I am in such a state of learning. I do a lot of reading and research behind the scenes. I follow a lot of accounts that offer wildly different perspectives, if I can be quite honest. And I, I do my best to stay in a neutral space. So I do, you know, tend to swing one way or another. But my opinion matter matters very little here.

Lisa Carpenter [00:06:38]:
It's in terms of, of, of what I want to share in the public. The reason that I'm sharing this with you is because we don't always know what other people are thinking and it really doesn't matter. It's. Are you willing to put the time and the energy and the effort into learning more for yourself, to educating yourself around these topics and then suspending judgment on anybody who isn't necessarily speaking out? It doesn't mean that they don't care, it doesn't mean that they're not donating, it doesn't mean that they're not doing their part. But we don't need to actually share everything we think and feel about every topic out there. And because of the role that I play in my clients lives, it is very, very important for me that I am able to show up in a neutral, unbiase space when I'm coaching because I don't want to be projecting my thoughts and beliefs onto other people. It's not about me, it's about helping them shift their own perspectives, thoughts, belief underwriting stories that are creating the narrative that they have my opinion on, on certain things matters very, very little. So that is also important to me.

Lisa Carpenter [00:07:51]:
You know, we are all so connected via social media but now more than ever I feel like we are the least connected we've ever been as a society. So just in watching with what's going on in la, it's really beautiful to see how many people are coming out to help and support. But then there's other parts of the world where I feel like we're turning a bit of a blind eye because it's not in our backyard. All of these topics are so complex and they have so many layers and I just, I keep coming back to how can I just be a good human and show up in a way that I can feel good about not whether or not you're going to feel Good about what I'm doing because it's not about you. But can I show up in a way that I feel good about what I'm looking at, what I'm reading, how I'm educating myself, how I'm giving back the impact that I want to make in the world? Because as somebody who is deeply empathetic, it is so easy for me to lose myself into my emotions and watching the amount of suffering in the world and go into this place of feeling absolutely helpless. And I'm sure many of you have experienced that before where you just feel so helpless. Like, what can one little person in the world do? I often feel that way and I have to come back to. Even if I can only do what I feel is so small, it still matters, it's still important.

Lisa Carpenter [00:09:21]:
And this is why I'm so passionate and even more so now than ever before about the work that I'm doing in the world. Because every single man and woman that I work with, that I touch, that I expand their consciousness, that we start to create new realities for them, that they are able to show up in the world more grounded and centered, feeling peaceful and fulfilled, it means that they're also going to make better choices. They're going to be able to support the people around them in a different way. And that matters because if we're all showing up like crazy chickens with our head cut, cut off, running around, being reactive to everything that happens in the world, we're not able to think through things clearly. We need to be grounded, we need to be solid in ourselves. We need to understand what our values are to help guide our decision making process. So again, this is just a really short episode. I just kind of wanted to riff on, on how I was feeling and share that, you know, if you were also sitting back going, my God, there's just so much, how do I help? Where do we start? Global warming? All, all the things, it feels like, all the things we could be living in this place of gloom and doom, you know, My challenge to you is to ask yourself, but what is it that you need to support yourself in feeling better? What is it that you need to give yourself first so that you can be grounded and have your nervous system feel a little bit more regulated before you start reacting out there to everything that's going on in the world? If you feel like it's overwhelming and you can't do anything, do something.

Lisa Carpenter [00:11:01]:
Decide how much, you know, if it's money, how much money you have every year that you want to put back out into the world. And you can choose wherever you want to give it to. You can give it to a family at Christmas. You can give it to multiple GoFundMe accounts. You can look for different organizations like Charity Water that support people throughout the world. You can look at different organizations that support different political things that are going out in the world, or different political parties, if that's what you believe in. But there's always something you can do with your words, with your actions, with your energy. Doing something nice for somebody, you know, buying somebody a coffee, leaving a 20 bill in a carton of eggs for a family who might need it.

Lisa Carpenter [00:11:47]:
Um, there are a million different ways that you can show up and make an impact in the world. And when we're thinking about, well, how, how is one little, one little person going to make a big impact? You making an impact in one person's life could be a massive impact for that one person. And isn't that what it's all about at the end of the day? So whether everybody. There's so many different opinions about what's going on, but I watched a video this morning about the amount of aid that people are donating in la and it was just, it was overwhelming to see one. Just how much stuff. Let's just start there. How much stuff people have. So I hope everybody is looking at their homes and thinking, God, like, because I have.

Lisa Carpenter [00:12:35]:
So I'm just sharing, like, this is just me talking off the cuff about my life. I've looked around my house and thought, man, if I had 30 minutes to pack my house and take stuff with me, what would I take with me? What is really important here? And you know what, there's very few things that I couldn't live without. I mean, I lived out of a European size carry on for a month when I was in Spain last year. There are very few things, you know, passports, important papers, but everything else doesn't matter that much. So how much stuff are we constantly consuming all the time so that when something like this happens, people, people are able to donate all these things that they realize they don't really need. So I hope that what is happening in LA is, is allowing other people just like me, maybe just like you, to step back and really listen and look at do I need all these things? And how can I maybe start to consume less? Because as I start to, you know, dive a little bit more into global warming and, and what we can actually change versus just eliminating straws and plastic bags, which I personally think is utterly ridiculous, that, you know, we go To a store, we can't have a bag to carry our things home in, but pretty much everything at the grocery store is wrapped in plastic. So if I order my groceries online, they put everything in plastic bags, but then I have to bring my own bags. Like I have these moments of like, make it make sense.

Lisa Carpenter [00:14:04]:
So I'm just starting to look at the things that I can do, the things that I can do to do my part. Because the politicians, as far as I'm concerned, are always going to be looking at the bottom line. Dollar industry is not interested in losing money from my perspective. And but we as the consumers, we play a role because if we're constantly consuming things, manufacturers are going to keep, keep producing them. So if you look at fast fashion as, as an example, I'm not really a big fashion shopper person, but man, these, these companies are pumping out tons and tons of clothing in a ridiculous way that we've never seen before. What does that impact on the earth? So again, just looking at what's going on in LA and realizing like, do we really need as much stuff as we do, as we think we do? And how can we start to consume less? How can we start to make conscious choices? So I get, you know, a lot of your book lovers following me. I love my books too. But I put myself on a no books, no more books until I read the books that I have.

Lisa Carpenter [00:15:21]:
I can buy digital books because that's not taking up space, it's not costing us trees or whatever it may be. But you know, where can we buy less? Do you really need that new top? Do you really need that new pair of shoes? Or maybe you just need to like wash them, right? Because I've been notorious for like, oh, maybe I'll just get rid of these and get a new pair. Well, no, actually I can clean it up. Asking myself, is this really a want or a need? And I'm not saying like don't ever want anything again, but I think we have to start asking ourselves better questions and giving ourselves a moment to pause before we purchase because we don't need all the stuff that we have. And I believe that stuff and buying stuff and consuming is just another thing we do to try and make ourselves feel the way we want to feel. It's no different than drugs, alcohol, sex, caretaking, people, pleasing. Like we have all these strategies that we use to support ourselves, trying to feel better, but it doesn't actually make us feel better. It just surrounds us with things and stuff that's still end up feeling kind of Empty and meaningless.

Lisa Carpenter [00:16:35]:
So that's a little bit of my rant today on world events. Take it for what it's worth. Take what's valuable in here. Leave the rest. But just know if you've been wondering, like, oh, why isn't Lisa commenting on this thing or that thing? It's just not where I want to direct my attention. It's not where I want to direct my attention. And I think that we are all entitled to forming our opinions and making the choices that we want to make without it having to be a public endeavor. So I'm going to continue to talk about the things that matter to me, to my clients.

Lisa Carpenter [00:17:15]:
I'm going to continue to have conversations like this, which, again, you know, it's kind of outside of what I normally speak about, but I thought it was important to just have a quick conversation about for you to reflect on. Ask yourself some different questions. What really matters in your life? What is most important? Are you spending the time on those things? Are you spending your dollars on those things? Because even as I continue to reflect on 2024 and I've got a few episodes coming out around that, it was never about the stuff for me. It was about the experiences and the people and what I learned about myself along the way. And I truly believe that that's what this human journey is all about, is just learning about ourselves and how we can show up and be better humans. And. And in being better humans, I think that that's when we start to make better decisions around our planet, our relationships, our work, how we spend our time, where we're spending our energy. So I will leave it at that.

Lisa Carpenter [00:18:26]:
I'm going to record another episode. I'm on. I'm doing my first. Let's batch some episodes. Day feels a little bit uncomfortable, but I'm doing it. But I'm sending you so much love. And just know that regardless of what is happening in your world today, feel it. You know the.

Lisa Carpenter [00:18:43]:
If you're feeling sadness, grief, frustration, anger, overwhelm, helplessness, whatever it is you might be feeling based on what you're watching in the world, know that that is valid. If something has happened in your life that has taken you to your knees, understand, please, that what you are feeling is. Is valid. It. This isn't about. Let's just get over it and move on. I truly believe that we have to walk into our pain to heal from our pain. It is all valid.

Lisa Carpenter [00:19:14]:
And it's so important to also ground yourself in if this might be happening for me, what is here for Me in this. And for some of us, what is here for us is to learn how to expand our capacity to hold discomfort, to hold pain, to feel our feelings, to really connect deeply with ourselves, to tune into what we truly value, what matters in our life. But I promise you that we will all find our way to the other side. You know, maybe part of the lesson here is in people learning how to receive, because I know so many people struggle with receiving. We're also good at giving. But receiving, where in your life do you struggle with receiving? If you were in a situation like in la, would you be willing to receive? How hard would that be for you? Would you be able to put down your ego and allow yourself to receive? How much value have you given to giving? Yet judgment you give to receiving when it's you in the receiving spot. So I truly believe, regardless of the circumstance, regardless of how awful they are, there's something for each of us to learn within that. And that's what takes you from being in this place of being a victim.

Lisa Carpenter [00:20:32]:
Because, listen, sometimes the things that happen to us do make us a victim, but we get to choose whether or not we want to grow in that victim story or if we want to transmute that energy into becoming the victor. And you become the victor when you do step into what's possible for me from here, what can I learn? How can I grow? What might happen for me on the other side of this? What if this might eventually be the best thing that ever happened to me? And I'm not asking you to say that in the moment at all, because having gone through some really big stuff myself, I was not able to look at what if this is the best thing that was able was that would have ever happened to me? I was not able. I was not able, nor was I interested in seeing that perspective at all. It's only now that I can see that, that I've got some distance. For anybody who's in something really big right now in your life, it truly is about taking care of yourself, getting your nervous system back online when we are a victim of something in a moment. And like I said, that is true, it does. Our body's ability to regulate itself goes offline. And this is why coming back to those foundational pieces around what do you need to do to care for yourself is so, so important.

Lisa Carpenter [00:22:00]:
Because getting your nervous system online and getting your prefrontal cortex back into like position, so to speak, is going to help you navigate things and, and shift your, your thinking around it. But we have to go through These different phases of healing. And we don't want to be gaslighting anybody who's going through something and telling them that, you know what, it'll work out for you. This is happening for you. Like somebody who is right in the middle of something, something is just tragic has happened to them. That is not the right time to place that. But saying like, wow, I understand. This must be so hard for you.

Lisa Carpenter [00:22:38]:
This must be so painful. I'm here for you. What can I do to support you? Is there anything that I can do to help? I'm here to listen. That is what is valuable. And the conversations around the bigger pieces can come later. But in the moment, sometimes we just need a hug and for somebody to say, like, I've got you. So this is my effort to say, like, I've got you. So if you are struggling right now, if you're going through a really hard time, if you are challenged to find a perspective that supports you, you know, send me an email at least at lisacarpenter Ca or reach out on social media.

Lisa Carpenter [00:23:21]:
Instagram is usually the best place. Send me a DM and let me know what you're going through. I'm here to listen and hold space for you to move from that place of victim into Victor from. So you get to write your own hero's journey out of whatever has gone on for you. Because ultimately we all get to create the stories that we choose to live from. And that's a pretty powerful place to be. So apologies if this episode is a little bit all over the place. It is actually not the episode that I sat down with the intention of recording in this moment, but this is where we went.

Lisa Carpenter [00:24:00]:
So I'm just going with it because I've gone back to just trusting myself to say what I need to say, what wants to come through for you, my dear listeners, because that's what really grew my podcast following. In the beginning, it wasn't these perfectly curated episodes all structured out. It was me just literally coming on here and sharing my thoughts and where I was, what I was feeling and. And my own perspectives. So I'm going to hold space that 2025, I truly believe is going to be a very powerful year in numerology. And I'll. I'll end with this in numerology. It's a year nine.

Lisa Carpenter [00:24:41]:
We run in nine year cycles. Year nine is a year of closure. So things I believe really need to break down, fall apart for us to go into a brand new cycle. It is also the year of the snake and snake as a spirit, animal, guide, whatever you want to call it, snake is all about transformation. It literally sheds its skin and is reborn, so to speak. And everything that I'm seeing going on in the world is an opportunity for all of us to start looking at at things in a different way and start asking oursel about what we want in the coming decade, how we're showing up, how we need to hold our leaders accountable, how we maybe need to change leaders. And maybe we need to have some of the craziness that's going on right now because we need to be taken by the shoulders and shaken. I don't know.

Lisa Carpenter [00:25:36]:
I don't have the answers. I have my perspectives and I believe that all of this falling apart, all of this chaos needs to happen for all of us. So I will leave on that note. Thank you for tuning in for another episode and I look forward to sharing my thoughts about female friendships and the importance of female friendships and how to heal our female friendships on my next episode. So make sure you turn it. Tune into that next week. If you haven't subscribed to the podcast already, please make sure you do and we will catch you on the next episode.