EPISODE 299: Who I Am, What I Do, and How I Help High-Achievers Break Free from Overwhelm

Lisa Carpenter  [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the Full Frontal Living Podcast. I'm Lisa Carpenter, master life coach to driven, ambitious humans who want more out of life without having to sacrifice themselves to achieve it. I'll share how it's possible to slow down, take better care of yourself, find more peace and ease, create sustainable energy, stop procrastination and overwhelm and fall in love with your life, your business and your body. This podcast is for you. If you're ready to learn what it takes to thrive as a high performer. Do less, but achieve more. Make you and your well being a top priority and create your extraordinary life. I'm so glad you're here.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:00:45]:
Hey, hey and welcome to the Full Frontal Living Podcast. Today is going to be a little bit different. Hopefully my audio is going to be okay. I'm actually sitting in this beautiful outdoor space in this absolutely gorgeous home that I'm staying at in Tulum with a bunch of absolutely phenomenal next level women. So, so powerful. We're going to be doing some masterminding and Tulum always holds such a special place in my heart and I'm going to be sharing that with you on more episodes. But today I really wanted to kind of invite you into my world at a little bit of a different level. I want to share with you a little bit more about me, how I work with my clients, how I do what I do, why I'm so passionate about what I do.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:01:41]:
And I so often have such a hard time. You know, like people have asked me here, like what do you do? And I'm like, I'm a coach, which is so surfacey level and so not what I do. You know, it's a title that I have given myself, but it goes so much deeper in terms of how I work with my clients. I have an ability to deeply understand and articulate complex emotional and psychological struggles in people. I have an extraordinary capacity to name and hold space for nuanced human experiences that many people struggle to even identify with themselves. I go into the context that you are working from, not the words you're saying to me. And I've had this intuitive ability to hear past people's words and write into their soul. And then I'm able to deliver a very powerful and potent, yet kind, compassionate and caring message to them or question or insight that radically will reshape their lives.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:02:45]:
And I wanted to share this with you because I know how important it is to feel connected to the person that you're learning from or working with. So today is about giving you a deeper look into my Story my struggles and why I'm so passionate about supporting such high achieving, driven, successful women and men. I work with a lot of men to help them find more peace, ease and fulfillment in their lives. The things that I've had to heal within myself in order to be here and even being at this retreat. You know what I was reflecting on on Instagram Stories the other night? If you follow me on Instagram Stories. You know, there was a time that to be able to be around these type of extraordinary, successful women, I was like, well, you know, I wanted it. I would watch these women gathering and think like, wow, how do I get in that room? And while simultaneously telling myself the story that I wasn't ready yet, I didn't belong, I didn't have enough to offer, I wasn't successful enough. And it didn't matter that I created multiple businesses.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:03:47]:
It didn't matter that I was working with clients around the globe. It didn't matter that I wrote a book or bill program. None of it mattered because I did not believe that I was ready or good enough to be in those rooms. And to be sitting here now going, not only do I feel like I belong and I'm ready, I actually celebrate and see the value in the gifts that I bring. Because although somebody might be amazing at like all the things AI and another woman is, you know, she coaches high level women to bring their businesses up to seven figures with, you know, systems and procedures and processes, that's not how my brain works. But I can see the human, the human experience in each of these women. I can see around corners that they're not going to be able to see themselves. And that is a gift.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:04:37]:
And so often when I'm working with clients, I don't even know the extent of the accomplishments that they've had in their life because it's really irrelevant to my work because I'm speaking to the human. So it's cool to find out what my clients do. And I have a lot of them that do like amazing things in the world. And I'm always mind blown because they are just regular everyday humans. And even though everybody else looks at them as being so successful, they're often not feeling that on the inside. And that was part of my journey. It has been a long haul and a lot of very deep work on myself to peel back these insecurities and layers of when we're talking about things like not feeling good enough or not feeling like we're ready or we belong. I still remember was coaching a client of mine who was setting up these big entrepreneurial events, and I got invited.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:05:30]:
And at the time, I think I had, like, I don't know, $20 in my bank account. And I was going to this retreat with these women who were just doing phenomenal things. And I had a lot to offer, and I knew that. And I had a great time at this retreat. I was there because I was coaching. Like I said, the organizer had a lot to contribute, but within 24 hours of being home, I remember sitting on the edge of my bed saying, like, lisa, who do you think you are? Like, you're not successful like those women. And I stopped in my tracks and said, lisa, stop it. Because what I realized that in that moment was I could either fight to be the person that I wanted to be, believe in myself, and trust that I was at the table because I belonged at the table, or I could fight for believing that I wasn't good enough.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:06:25]:
And this journey into loving and accepting yourself and feeling like you are more than enough because you are. You come to the planet more than enough, and then we start telling ourselves these bullshit stories that we're not. I had to make a decision in that moment that I was no longer going to tolerate that part of myself reaching forward and pulling me back. Because the only thing holding me from the success that I wanted was that voice, was that part of me that didn't believe that I was worthy and deserving of that. And I had to fight for that every day. And this is where so much of the work starts for many of you. Letting go. Isn't this like, oh, I let it go and then it's done.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:07:06]:
Those voices, those. Those parts of you that want to tell you a story that is not true, but you believe it because you've been hearing it for most of your life. Training those parts of you to soften back is work. And one must be. One must choose to be relentless about it. So if you think about. For any of you who ever had a dog, even if you've never had a dog, I know you're going to understand this metaphor. You don't get a brand new puppy and tell it to sit once, and then it obediently just, you know, does as it's commanded.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:07:43]:
You have to teach that puppy day in and day out to sit, to stay, to sit, to stay, to sit, to stay until it starts to get that new patterning. And the same is true for these voices in our head. It's the. Your willingness, your commitment, your ability to be relentless and say, stop it. I'm not tolerating you anymore and dismissing that voice over and over and over again until new neural pathways are formed so your brain knows, oh, wait, she's not accepting this anymore. We're not attached to that habit of feeling not good enough anymore. And the discomfort that comes with dismissing that voice. And that's when you start to really see how attached you are to that voice.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:08:29]:
Because claiming your worthiness, feeling good enough like you would think it would feel good, but in my case, and in almost all of my clients cases, it doesn't feel good because we have a part that fights against that, that wants us to really stay attached to that I'm not good enough story. And this drove most of the things in my life, most of the achievements that I was choosing, chasing, Whether it was the certificates, the diplomas, the achievements, like it didn't matter what it was, whether it was my fitness stage or business, it was all anchored into this belief of I was not good enough. And maybe if I ticked one more box and this was all unconscious, maybe if I ticked one more box, maybe if I did one more amazing thing, then I would feel good enough, then I would feel worthy and deserve, then I would belong at the table. And that's working from the outside instead of the inside. Because all the opportunities, this opportunity to hang out with these women, that has always been there for me. But I was not a match for it internally. So if you want to know what you're a match for, look around at your life. What are your relationships like? What is your work like? What is your business life like? Because that shows you what you think about yourself, what you believe about yourself.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:09:50]:
Get quiet for an hour one day and sit and listen to the voices in your head, and you will discover so much about who you are. So this journey for me started. I've been a coach for well over two decades now, but my own personal reclamation began over a decade ago. And if you've listened to the podcast for any amount of time, it was when my partner went into rehab and I made the decision to also step into my role and responsibility in what, in me, had made me an energetic match for an addict. And that was the unraveling of me from looking at perfectionism to attachment to control, which is something I still, you know, I'm still working on. I'm not a control freak like I used to be. I wouldn't even call myself a control freak anymore, but I definitely see, like, still little threads that I'm choosing to look at and work on this constant need to chase Accomplishments to be the best, yet never allowing myself to feel the best. I was a human doing.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:11:04]:
And it wasn't about doing more. That was not never going to get me the results I wanted. Which was really about how I wanted to feel that sense of fulfillment instead of this part of me that always felt empty. Like I was seeking something, but I could never find it. Like, and it didn't matter what it was just this, like there's something missing. But I kept looking at what I needed to put in to fill the hole, right? The accomplishments, the doing versus looking at what I needed to take out, what things I was holding onto, what beliefs I had that needed to go so that I could feel full. And it's so opposite, because we've been taught that the value is in the doing. But what I've come to learn over decades of doing this work with myself and with my clients, it's the undoing that actually creates the life we want.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:11:57]:
It's not about the stuff. So this was a massive wake up call. And it's been a commitment to the relationship that I have with myself first and foremost over the years. That is where I am. And then I've, you know, I've mentioned that in 2023, you know, that was another like two by four year, like, holy shit, did that really happen? And my entire reality was flipped upside down. It was like saying that the color green is now the color red and that you've been living in an illusion for years. And it was incredibly disruptive. Very, very, very painful.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:12:36]:
But such deep, profound lessons in letting go, in attachment, in being in the pain, using pain as the portal to a deeper healing, to an even deeper level of self love and compassion and wisdom that makes me kind of, I kind of feel like I'm unfuck withable these days, to be honest. Because when you go through something so massive in your life, it profoundly changes you if you're willing to walk through that pain, if you're willing to walk through that portal. And so again, reflecting on this event that I'm at, to be so grounded in who I am and it's not about the things I've done. I'm not here because of the things I've done or the success I've had, or I haven't had. Nobody gives a shit. It's about who I am and the energy that I put out into the world and that deep wisdom that I bring to the conversation that nobody can bring. So, you know, if successful success on paper isn't translating into joy and fulfillment and ease in your life, and something is missing. It's not about doing more to feel better.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:13:51]:
Perhaps it's about what does it look like to really be in a deep, connected, committed relationship with yourself? What does it look like to really get to know you? So consider that you know, when you meet a new person, at least for me, because I like to go deep. I'm asking a lot of questions. I'm really curious, and tell me more about that. But have you ever had that type of conversation with yourself? Have you ever been in a room with somebody where you've been able to have that type of conversation with yourself? So I know so many of my clients are, you know, they are committed to growth and development. They're reading the books. But the problem with reading books is you are reading books and you are absorbing that information through your current context or frame of reality. So you're only going to take in that information based on who you think you are now. Whereas when you're working with a coach, when you're working with somebody like me, I am working underneath your.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:14:48]:
I don't share your same frame of reality. I might have reference points in my own life to it, but I am not living your context. So you can say all the things to me, and I will see right through your words, right into your heart, right into your wounds, right into the things that have hurt you that you don't even think you're carrying around anymore so that you can let them go. And you're not going to discover that in a book because we just don't see the things we don't want to see. It didn't. I have all the tools in my toolbox. I am a world coach. And when my life fell apart in 2023, my personal life fell apart in 2023.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:15:31]:
I felt just as blindsided as many of my clients. And I had to really be cautious of not picking up the stick and saying, like, Lisa, how did you not know this? How did you not know better? Or trying to fast track my healing? Because I have all the tools. I'm a human being just like you. And it doesn't matter that I have all these tools. We cannot bypass the things that are meant for us. I don't have a ticket, a get out of jail free card in my life anymore than my clients do. So it was finding more of compassion for myself and recognizing this was not going to be a quick fix. When I'm working with people and when I'm doing my own work, it's about creating Real sustainable transformation.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:16:16]:
So it's not a. You just get this instant hit of like, feeling better, but then, you know, you're back to feeling the same way, you know, six months later. That's. That's not what I do. If you're looking for real, lasting, sustainable change, that's what I do with my people. So I am a no bs, which I'm sure if you're listening to this, you already know this. I say sing so directly. I can be quite pragmatic, but, you know, my approach comes with such radical honesty, but also such kindness and compassion.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:16:53]:
I can say the really hard things that other people do not have the courage to say, and I can deliver it in a way that you will feel it, but it will not hurt you. The compassion and the love behind everything I say intentional, because I know I'm gonna say something hard to you. I'm gonna say, I know I'm gonna see things in you that you have been spending your life not wanting to see. And it is cruel for me to not say it because then I'm allowing you to stay in your suffering. And my job is to move you out of your suffering. And change only happens when you're willing to look at the hard stuff. And I can hold space for that. I can sit with someone in their suffering and not run.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:17:38]:
I don't need to fix it. I don't need to make you feel better. I can sit with you in that pain portal so that you know that you are fully supported in your most vulnerable, vulnerable emotions. So, you know, if you are a woman who is. Or. Or man, because like I said, I do work with men, they mainly come through referrals, even. Even though I primarily market to women, you know, you're often stuck in cycles of overworking, overdoing, spinning all the plates, and actually feeling like a badass, because you can spin all the plates, but also feeling completely depleted and unfulfilled in your life, you're often in a lot of overthinking and over giving. So you're the person that takes care of everybody else.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:18:20]:
God help you if you drop a plate because everybody is relying on you. But you also get a huge benefit out of that, because in doing all the things for all the people that feeds that story of I'm not good enough. So if I do all this stuff, then at least I get to feel like I'm contributing and that, like, this makes me feel good. Which it does make you feel good. But again, you're trying to fill that empty space inside you from outside. So it's not about suddenly turning into an asshole and not being there for your friends and family. It's looking at where you're not being responsible to yourself because you're being so responsible to the relationships you have with everybody else. It's about self integrity.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:18:59]:
So every single one of my clients would never break promises to other people, Even if it's like, even if they're dropping balls in their own life. But that therein lies the problem. They are constantly out of integrity with themselves. They are constantly breaking promises with themselves. And when you think about this, if you had a best friend and you accomplished constantly promising her things and then letting her down, would that relationship be healthy? Would you feel like you could trust that person? Would you feel loved by that person? The answer would be no. So I'm asking you to consider what being out of integrity with yourself is doing. Because how can you deepen into these levels of trust and intuition when you're constantly severing that relationship with yourself? You're saying, I don't. You don't matter.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:19:50]:
I don't matter to me. So you matter to me, the other person, but you're not mattering to yourself. So the women who work with me end up reclaiming not only their time and their energy, but their confidence, Higher levels of self trust, more peace, more ease. They learn how to be compassionate with themselves, and they stop chasing success and they start feeling successful. And I love that. As I'm recording this, I'm sitting in that feeling of like, man, this. This is really what success is. It's not about the stuff.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:20:23]:
It's about looking around at your life and being like, damn, like, I did this because I changed who I was being. And the beliefs that I was carrying around, they become way more present in their lives. Like I said, they trust their intuition, they trust themselves. They know the difference between fear and intuition, or they're willing to explore it more, and they feel deeply connected to themselves. The level of self love. So we talk about self love, and it sounds kind of airy fairy, but it's really understanding what does that mean? To show up for myself with the same depth and commitment, commitment that I do for the people that I love. They step into, like, greater amounts of self leadership and live with more intention, balance, and of course, fulfillment. Right? It's the chasing energy, that pursuit energy, that almost like, what would I call it, Urgency.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:21:20]:
That sense of urgency leaves so you're still getting things done, but that, like, urgent, urgent feeling or that anxiety feeling is no longer there. So how do I do this? It's very, very organic. When clients come to me, I have a very, very long intake form that they fill out, and that's with intention, because I want you to discover things about yourself as you're filling out that form. And it tells me a lot of things about you so that, you know, we can dive into what's causing your burnout, your self doubt, and this endless striving. So for me, it's not about adding more to your list. People are like, oh, God, I don't know if I have the time or energy to work with you right now. Lisa, the whole point of working with me is to reclaim your time and energy. My job isn't to put more on your plate.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:22:08]:
My job is to get you to get real about what needs to come off your plate. And that's why working with me is often confronting, because the action I'm getting you to take take is so counterintuitive to how you've been working. But if how you've been working worked, you wouldn't be feeling the way that you are feeling. So I am going to continuously tell you the truth because I believe that honesty, even tough truths, is where the real transformation begins. So there's so much more that I could dive into. But I like to try and keep these episodes around 30 minutes because I appreciate that you take the time to pop me in your ears. Like, it's not lost on me that we have an intimate connection here. To be in your ears for 20 or 30 minutes is such a gift, especially during a time where our attention is pulled in a million different directions and we can only hold our attention for, like, three seconds.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:23:05]:
You know, if you think about Instagram, So the fact that you're listening and you are sharing this time with me is so, like, I just don't. I don't ever take it for granted. So I just want to thank you for that. So if what I've shared today, and of course, you know, there's so much more I could tell you about my journey, but it's really not about me. It's about. It's about allowing you to see the depth of wisdom that I'm working from. From my own experiences, from the years of working with my clients, from the thousands and thousands. What do they say, it's like 10,000 hours to become an expert? Well, beyond that that I bring into my coaching practice.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:23:48]:
My job is to get you from where you are to feeling how you want to feel and cleaning out stuff in your life. So if you do want more, I've got clients that are always stepping into such cool, amazing things. But it's getting you there in a way that feels good for you, that you get to feel proud, that you get to feel accomplished, that you get to feel successful, like truly successful. So the outside matches the inside. You're like, yeah, I am awesome. So if you'd like to connect more, you know, don't hesitate to reach out to me on Instagram, LisaCarpenter Inc. Send me an email or head over to my website. LisaCarpenter CA apply.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:24:32]:
Right? Fill out an application and jump on a 30 minute call for me. There's no pressure because I only work with people who are willing. I only work with people who are like, yes, I have to do this. This kind of scares the shit out of me. And I know that I need to do this. I know that even though I don't feel ready, I have to be ready. I want to be ready. And they courageously step in the room with me.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:24:56]:
We'll hop on a 30 minute call and have a conversation and maybe then from there we just go to doing a single coaching session and you get to experience just like a single coaching session to see like, oh, what does this feel like? But let's connect first and start the ball rolling. So you can head over to my website and apply to work with me there. And you know, you can find previous podcast episodes of things I've talked about and other content so you can get to know me even more. I pride myself on sharing as openly and honestly as I'm asking you to show up. I can't lead if I'm working from sub facade. So everything you see is real. If you meet me in person, I'm the same person online as I am in person. So head over and binge on my stuff and see what resonates with you.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:25:49]:
But if you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and start living with clarity and ease, let's talk. Because I am so here for this. And this is going to be a very powerful and potent year in Chinese. In the Chinese calendar, this is the year of the snake, which is transformation. The snake actually has to shed its skin in order to survive. It's also year nine in numerology, and again, I'm not an expert in these things. I just love like dipping my toe in all of it. It's a closing cycle.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:26:21]:
Year nine is a cycle and we're seeing this around the globe with all the things that are happening, things need to burn down in order to be reborn. Skins need to be shed in order for us to be reborn. And a big part of me coming to Tulum was to close the loop. Like, truly, not just this fake, like, I'm done, but a true. Like, this is complete for me, and I can speak from this now, from the healed wound, from the scar versus being in the wound. And that's what this trip has given me. You know, I did a beautiful. I think it's called a temazal chemical.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:27:01]:
I can't. I'm trying. I'm gonna have to, like, learn Spanish. Anyways, it was basically a heat ceremony. So you go inside this tent that they build with Mexican blankets, and they put hot rocks in the middle, and you celebrate each direction. And the medicine is the heat and being with that, and it's kind of like the. It's kind of like a womb. So.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:27:26]:
So in going in there, it's like, what do you need to release so that you can be reborn? And I truly feel like I stepped out of that tent so complete with what has gone on in my life and so grateful for what has happened in my life. And people may not ever understand how I got to a place of gratitude. And that's a story for another day. But to step out of that and feel like, wow, I'm choosing this life. I'm calling in so much possibility. Like, the time is now. Lisa stepped out of that tent, went down to the beautiful turquoise. You know, it's dark out.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:28:05]:
The moon was out. You could see the planets, the stars. Stripped down naked and ran into the ocean and just felt so. I'm getting emotional, talking, but just felt so cleansed and so peaceful. And then to come here and step into this beautiful manifestation of spending time with these unbelievable women and knowing that I am one of them. I am one of them. This is my life, and I created it because I chose to step in and do this work day after day after day with my own coaches, my own therapists, my own healers. I wanted that relationship with myself where anything was possible.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:28:46]:
And that's what I'm inviting you into. So thank you so much for being here again. I'm so grateful to be in your ear. You know, it's one moment of courage can change your life. That moment of courage to just say yes. Last year, I just said, yes. Yes, I'll do that. Yes, I'll go there.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:29:07]:
Yes, I'll meet with them. I said yes to this retreat. That one moment of courage can change your life. That one moment of courage, the transformation is in that one moment of courage. So please go to the website, fill out the application, jump on a 30 minute call, we're going to have a great chat regardless of if you're like, no, I'm not ready. Yes, I am ready. It's going to be amazing. And remember, you're not doing this alone.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:29:34]:
I've walked this path. I have the scars to prove it. I have the hours under my belt working with so many men and women just like you. I am not a novice coach and I am here to help you reclaim your life so that you can live whatever an extraordinary life means to you. Have tons of energy, deeply connected to yourself and we're just gonna do it one step at a time. So thank you so much for being here. I'm gonna head back and have breakfast with the ladies now and enjoy just this unbelievable day with so much gratitude in my heart. It's really, truly a pinch me moment.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:30:13]:
So if you are listening and you have been with me for years and years and years, man, like you know, you know, and for anybody new joining me, like, welcome and thanks for coming along for the ride. So until next episode, take good care of you and I hope to see you and speak to you soon. Hey. Hey.

Lisa Carpenter [00:30:38]:
Before you go, I'd like to ask you something. How much longer are you willing to put yourself last, to keep pushing through, hoping things will magically change whilst feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and disconnected from the life you truly want? Tell me if this sounds like you from the outside. Most people think you have it all figured out. But the truth is that on most days you feel like you're barely holding it together. Your life is full of responsibilities and there's a high demand on your time and energy. You know you can't drop the ball yet you're terrified it's going to happen. And worst of all, you're already taking.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:31:16]:
The hit because you often end up.

Lisa Carpenter [00:31:18]:
At the bottom of your to do list. You've achieved so much, yet deep down what you want most is more ease, more fulfillment, more joy, more you. And that is exactly what Reclamation is all about. This isn't just another program. It's your opportunity to finally break free from the patterns that are keeping you stuck and step into a life that feels aligned, intentional and fulfilling. It's a safe space to have conversations that matter with women who get you and share your complicated relationship with vulnerability. Imagine having the support, the tools and the accountability to create real, lasting change where you're no longer just surviving, but thriving. So if you're done with feeling stuck, overwhelmed and constantly running on empty.

Lisa Carpenter [00:32:08]:
It's time to take that first step. Head to LisaCarpenter CA Reclamation and say yes to yourself. Yes to the life you know you're meant for.

Lisa Carpenter  [00:32:20]:
Because if nothing changes, nothing changes.

Lisa Carpenter [00:32:25]:
I'll see you on the inside.