Episode 202: If You Knew You Were Going To Die In 5 Years What Would You Say Yes To?

If you knew you were going to die in five years, what would you be saying yes to? In today’s episode of The Full Frontal living podcast, I’m going to be recapping my recent trip to Sedona and some lessons that I walked away with that have had me asking this very question. So, grab yourself a cup of tea, put on your running shoes and head out for a walk. And let’s talk.

Welcome to the full frontal living Podcast. I’m Lisa Carpenter, Master life coach to driven ambitious humans who want more out of life without having to sacrifice themselves to achieve it all. Share how it’s possible to slow down, take better care of yourself, find more peace and ease, create sustainable energy, stop procrastination, and overwhelm and fall in love with your life, your business and your body. This podcast is for you. If you’re ready to learn what it takes to thrive as a high performer, do less, but achieve more make you and your well-being a top priority, and create your extraordinary life. I’m so glad you’re here.

Hey, thanks for tuning in to another episode of The Full Frontal living podcast. And I don’t need mean to sound all doom and gloom because it’s not. But I did want to share a little bit more about this. You know, if you had five years left in your life, what would you be saying yes to. And the reason that this came up for me if you’ve been listening for a while is I just passed this amazing milestone of 50 years of life. And I most certainly plan to be on the planet for another 50 years. And I’m sure I will be oh my god, can you imagine? I’ve already lived through so many crazy things from 9/11 to the pandemic, God knows what is going to happen in the next 50 years. But I will weather it all. But you know, the reason that this came up for me is on my recent trip to Sedona where I got to celebrate my 50th birthday with a bunch of beautiful, beautiful souls, it was really a magical time. On my way home, I stayed with my parents who have a place in Phoenix, which is really, really lovely. And in talking to my dad, I’ve realized that my grandfather died at 55 he suffered a massive brain aneurysm and was, you know, basically died instantly. And, you know, I remember his death really clearly. You know, as a little girl, my grandfather was like, my everything he was larger than life and just, you know, he was an entrepreneur, he was very much an extrovert, the life of the party. I mean, I can definitely see more things about him now as an adult than I ever did as a child that he just, to me, he just was so much joy. And he left such a big hole in my life in the life of my family when he left this planet. But what I don’t think I really realized was how young 55 was. So, you know, now having just turned 50 I’m like, Wow, 55 that’s five years, if I knew my life was going to end in five years. What would I be saying yes to? And what would I be letting go of?

And this is a question you’ve heard me ask many times on the podcast, you know, what do you want to say yes to? And what do you want to say no, to take an inventory of your life and make some decisions. Because we don’t know how much time we have on this planet. And we all live like we’re gonna live forever. But the reality is, we’re not. And I can say for me that, you know, as I get older, that has become a real thing to really look at, like, I don’t have time to screw around anymore. I don’t have time to get into fear, and doubt and worry and overwhelm. I just don’t have time for that crap. I was put on a put on this planet for a very specific reason. I’m here to serve a certain type of women and men. And I just don’t have time to screw around and get into the weeds of stuff that so many of you get stuck in whether it’s trying to make things perfect or get all the steps right or find the perfect plan or you play that you know, when this changes, then I get to do X, Y and Z. I just don’t have time for that. And I really want you to take a look at your own life. And ask yourself this question if you knew you’re leaving the planet in five years. What are you not doing that you need to do?

So in this trip to Sedona It was incredibly challenging for me because as many of you know, I’m very much a creature of habit I talk a lot about of commitment, I talk a lot about responsibility, and going after the dreams that you have for yourself, and that that’s going to take you having to go do things and do things over and over, you know, chop wood carry water, doing, you know, the ordinary things extraordinarily well is what will get you to amazing results, I talk a lot about rest. And rest is a fundamental element of success. I talk a lot about the relationship that you need to be having with your physical body, your physical wellness, because if your body is broken down, you will never be able to experience success at the level that you want. Because you just won’t have the energy for it. Your body is what allows you to navigate this world to to live this life. And if you take crappy care of it, you’re just not going to be able to live up to your full potential hard stop. And there’s a very big difference between trying to avoid illness versus really being responsible for creating wellness in your world. So in going to Sedona, I knew that I was going to have my life flipped upside down. I knew that before going in. And it was challenging. It was really, really challenging. I knew we were going to have late nights, late mornings. And I knew that all of my habits and routines were going to be out the window. I was totally unplugged for the entire time I was away. Which was a an amazing experience. I don’t know when the last time you were unplugged like fully unplugged for an extended amount of time, I typically will unplug over the weekend. But this was the first time in a very long time that I am unplugged for an excessive, what feels like nowadays an excessive amount of time, I was of the kind of last generation that grew up without cell phones without the interwebs. You know, we would just go outside and play until the streetlights came on. And then we had to come home, we weren’t connected all the time, we didn’t go out with our friends and sit around with our heads in our phone. And we certainly didn’t have social media, we didn’t have you know, this level of comparisonitis and information coming at us 24/7. And it was just so beautiful to be completely disconnected and fully present in the experience that I gave to myself.

And it was a really powerful experience. I mean, even just getting across the border was a thing. Because they’re still restrictions on traveling. But I was able to cross that a land border and fly out to Sedona once I was in the US and make it happen. And I’m just prepared to do the things that I need to do to create the outcomes that I want. So for regular listeners of this show, you also know that I’m a really big believer in data. And the reason that I love data so much is that it helps to keep me out of my feelings because feelings aren’t facts. I am a very emotional person, meaning I process the world through my emotions, I’m very kinesthetic, some people are more visual, some people are more auditory, we all have a primary way that we we’ve processed our world. So for me, that’s kinesthetic. So I can often find myself in my feelings. And I really have to like pull myself out give myself a talking to. And that’s why I focus so much on gathering data because the data tells me the story of what is happening. And I’ve really come to rely on it for my own training. So I’m watching my sleep schedule and my recovery so I can make better decisions about what my body needs for me. In that day, I gather data in my business so I can make better decisions about where I need to, you know, invest my money or where we need to work on growth or so I can see what is happening. Right? So I can see what is happening in my business. This is really, really important. So that I can’t be stomping my feet saying I’m not getting what I want. But that’s just me and my feelings instead of looking at the facts that come from the data that tell me what is actually happening.

So some ways that I collect personal data is I wear a whoop strap. So whoop strap again, collects my sleep data, my HRV my heart rate all have these things, and it provides me with the information that I need to make really smart decisions around my training because I am, you know, I’m a professional athlete. I’m going to be going on stage in August of 2023. And it’s really, really important that I stay on top of how my body is responding to my training. However, at this retreat, I was not training. In fact, I took the entire 10 days off of training, so I didn’t really need to track My data. But I’m going to tell you a little story about what happened. So we had very late nights, we were staying up till three or four o’clock in the morning, which obviously is complete opposite of my life, I’m usually in bed at eight o’clock. I’m usually up by like 4:15 in the morning. So I was going to bed when I was normally getting up, which was just a Mind Bender, but also so incredibly good for me to learn that my body can adapt, and that, like I didn’t die. So I really want to challenge you the routines and the habits that you’re in in your life, what would happen if you flip those on their heads, because so often we get attached to those routines, so much so that we can’t even see the possibility of outside of them. So I knew that this was going to be a Mind Bender, for me going into this knowing I was going to be staying up late. And I also remind myself, I wasn’t going to die. Like I wasn’t gonna die.

But let me tell you, so I get up in the morning and I look at my whoop data after staying up till three, four in the morning. And it wasn’t good. You know, I saw that my heart rate was elevated my like all my stats were just horrible, right? Basically, it was like you’re going to die, and being dramatic. But my recovery was in the red, which again, validates my point of our body needs rest. However, our bodies are also incredibly adaptable. So the more late nights I had, the more I slept in the next day to compensate for the late night. So my body adapted, and I started feeling great again. But also, I took my whoop, strap off. And I stopped looking at the data, because I realized that for the experience that I was having the data was irrelevant, didn’t matter. I didn’t need it. My job was to just be present trust that I was going to get the rest that I needed to get, and that everything was going to be fine. And it was. So one of my mentors says you know you are where your attention is. So whatever you’re focused on is going to amplify. So if I was getting up in the morning, and looking at my data that was showing me I was almost dead, then do you think I was gonna feel like garbage? Yeah, absolutely. So once I stopped tracking the data, I actually felt better, because I had nothing to tell me that I was feeling like crap. And it was a really great reminder that yes, we need data to stay out of our emotions. But also, are you willing to trust yourself? Are you willing to have that relationship with your body, that you’re also going to be able to tune in and just sense and feel where it’s at.

Now, obviously, while I was on this retreat, I had the luxury of taking naps, if I needed to, like we literally had nothing to do. I didn’t have to do anything, I didn’t have to be anywhere. It didn’t matter if I got out of bed at 11 o’clock in the morning to start my day. Part of this was let’s flip life upside down and see what’s possible when we look at everything from a completely different vantage point. And it just reminded me like I’ve looked at everything in my life and said like, what am I gripping to? What am I saying that I can’t change? Because this is just the way it is? And what is important to me now, as I’m integrating back into real life, what things do I need to change? What commitments do I want to make to myself? And what do I need to move around, instead of telling myself that it has to be this way. So I’ve come home and still committed to my training, but I’m going to be changing around what time I’m training out. Because there’s other things that I want to do in the morning, that are going to be a larger commitment to me than my training. So I’m going to be training, still committed to it. But there are other things that I want to anchor in first in my day. So I really want you to look at, you know, the things in your life, that you’re making important. The things in your life that you’re telling yourself can’t be changed, whether it’s your work, schedule, something around your kids, your relationship, your, you know, your finances, there’s a whole host of things that we get stuck into that, you know, it is the way it is, but is it and when I say this, and you start thinking about these things, what comes up for you and do you have anxiety, if I say well, what if you didn’t do that anymore? What if you gave that up? What if you move that to the end of the day? What if you ask somebody else to help you with that? Or you stop doing it altogether? These are the important questions that I want you to start asking yourself and if that brings up anxiety for you or scares you. I want you to ask yourself well what specifically about it changing things up in your life scares you, what do you believe will happen? Because I can honestly say that going into this retreat, I had some anxiety about staying up till three in the morning, I knew we’d be staying up late and I still had anxiety about it. What if, what if what if Oh, my God, my body’s going to fall apart, I’m going to ruin my training schedule, blah, blah, blah, like all these things. And it was that part of me that just wanted to maintain control, because when I feel like I’ve got all the parts exactly where I want it, then things are under control, then I get to feel safe. And without that regular, regimented routine, those habits, those schedules, do I feel safe in my life.

And I know that that sounds a little, you know, it might sound a little bit crazy to you. But we are always lining up things in our life, to make sure that we are anchored in love, safety and belonging. And I believe we need schedule and routines and habits. I’m a big believer in that in terms of creating success, and feeling fulfilled in our lives. But I’m also a big believer and shaking things up to see where the pieces land on the other side. Because there might be a better way of doing things that you’re not even willing to look at. Because you’re so attached to how your life is today. If you would ask me three weeks ago, if I was willing to change around my workout schedule, I would have said, Hell no, there’s no way I can do it. But now because this other things come into my life that is going to take priority, I will figure it out. Because I’m always looking at ways to win. And this may work out better than I could have even anticipated. Because I’m willing to be open and adaptable. And I can change, you know, I can always change things up. The other thing that I really, you know, took away from this experience is, and it’s funny because it’s one of my taglines, which is love what you do, but love yourself more. And when I first wrote that line, for my website, copy, you know, three weeks later, I’m like, do I even really understand what this means. And I keep coming home to it. Because we live in this world, and we have all these things that we love to do. And I am unapologetically ambitious and driven, I love goals. You know, there’s so many fantastic things that I want to do in this lifetime. And I can get so caught up in that kind of 3d reality that I can lose sight of the number one priority in my life, which is really loving and caring for myself.

So let me explain because I do work from this place of love and care. And this is something that I support my clients with. But we can get so caught up in the things that we love to do, whether it’s work or whatever, that when you really take a step back, and this is what’s happened for me is that when I really took a step back, I thought, you know, Lisa, are you loving yourself at the level that you could be? Is your heart as open as it could be? Am I pouring as much into other areas that I need to love and nurture myself as I can? Is there room for more here. And that’s, you know, that’s why I’m changing around my schedule, because these things that I want to do in the morning, they’re not about doing there about being present with myself. And spending that time with myself where I’m not pushing myself, I’m not doing something hard. I’m just getting really present and really dialed in to that kind of inner knowing that intuition that we all have that higher self, so to speak. And this is something I’ve really, you know, rallied with you don’t hear me talk a lot about spirituality, I think it’s a very intimate conversation. You know, whatever spirituality means to you. But at this stage in my life, I am exploring what my spirituality looks like, for me, what it means to me to be a spiritual being, and how to bring more of that into my world because I believe we are all kind of magical beings. And when we’re trying to force and push our way to all these kinds of outcomes that we want, are we really creating the space to connect in with ourselves. And this is a key component that I coach on. I talk about this acronym halt hungry, angry, lonely, tired, and lonely. Is this disconnect from ourselves? So you could be in a room of 1000s of people that still feel alone if you’re not connected with yourself? And that’s really what I’m exploring and discovering is how Can I even more deeply connected with myself. So although I’ve done all these years of work on learning to love and accept myself and have more grace and compassion, there’s more for me. There’s more there for me. And there’s more there for you. There’s always more caverns we can explore. So it doesn’t mean that, you know, there’s anything wrong with me or that I’m broken. It’s simply a curiosity of how can I fall more in love with who I am not from an ego standpoint, but a curiosity of like, what else is available to me? What deeper connection is there, because I’ve really had an up down and sideways relationship with spirituality, my whole life. And I’m not really going to get into all of that. Let’s just say that, you know, there have been times where my spirituality has saved my life. And there have been times where I’ve turned my back on my spirituality, because I didn’t understand how certain things could happen in the world. I couldn’t make sense of bad things happening to good people, or bad things happening to innocent people, or even bad things happening to me. Like, why? Why would that happen? So just exploring kind of this layer of spirituality for me and what it opens up in terms of, of loving myself more.

So I really want you to consider that as well. What does it look like to love yourself? Because this is kind of this like, airy fairy? Like, what the hell is self love kind of concept? And it really does come back to are you showing up with kindness and compassion for yourself? Or like many of my clients, are you really hard on yourself? And this is something I get into, and I’ve had to look at, like, where am I still being hard on myself? Where does that show up in such a sneaky way, I don’t even realize it until it’s like, you know, practically punching me in the face, so to speak. So there’s always more room for fun, and play, and laughter and joy, and connection and dancing. And that was something that became so clear to me, you know, just from preparing meals, with the ladies that I was staying with, there was so much joy in that experience for me just being present, and laughing and playing music and dancing and receiving love. I received so much love on my birthday. And Lisa of 10 years ago, would not have been able to, I did not have the capacity to receive that depth of love. And even with all the work I’ve done, it was still, you know, I still had to really sit in the discomfort that I was feeling in receiving the depth of love that I received on my birthday. Because that love it’s not just there for me on my birthday. It’s there from these people all the time. Am I loving myself that deeply? Because if if I’m feeling uncomfortable with receiving that depth of love from other people, can I honestly say that I’m loving myself deeply. So there’s always more room for fun and laughter and joy and play. And I can get quite heady. I know shocking. I love deep conversations. I don’t love small talk. And of course with the work that I do. I’m deep diving with my clients into very intimate topics and it vulnerable conversations, right, my clients open up their hearts, and asked me to step in to help guide them. And, and I love that and I love that I can hold that space. But also, I can get so deep that I forget that I just need to lighten up and have some fun and laugh and not everything needs to be something right we can just have fun and enjoy life because that’s really what we came here to do is feel good and enjoy life. So yes, I get a lot of joy out of the work that I do. But you know, maybe there’s some more room for music in the kitchen and dancing and laughter and fun and play and how can I work that in more so that is what I have for you today.

You know what, what is possible for you. If you knew you only had five years left to live Are you having the fun you want to have in your life? Are you experiencing joy at the level you want to experience joy? Or does life feel heavy and hard? Do you feel trapped? By your circumstances? Do you feel locked into your routine so much that there’s no wiggle room, there’s no room to breathe. There’s no space for compassion and downtime. As I’ve said in a previous episode, I’m one of the few people that my coach works with the takes a regular D load week where I just take time off the gym off, not less, off. Where can you create a little bit more space for yourself, especially if you are an A type, doer, go getter, ambitious, driven, always spinning multiple plates. Our biggest lessons are learning more self compassion, sinking into more self love, patience, understanding and lightening up and having fun, embracing the entire range. That is you. And that’s what I’m going to be exploring in my next 50 years is how can I even increase the range that I’ve already been playing with? How can I go deeper? What else is there for me? And if I were to leave the planet in five years knock with that, I don’t do that. Would I be satisfied with the life that I’ve lived up until now? And I want you to ask yourself that question. Are you satisfied with your life? Are you settling? Are you settling for your life? Because nobody has to settle. There’s so much available to you as you do this work.

So on that note, I have opened up the waitlist for my intimate group coaching container runs over 11 months. It’s called the collective and this is for driven ambitious women who are already successful, but are looking to prioritize their own well being basically prioritize themselves, physically and emotionally, so that they can feel more joy and fulfillment in their lives while still being their badass selves out in the world. Right? I understand that you’ve got multiple plates that you’re spinning, but how can we put some of those plates down? How can we really guide you into a place of caring for your well being, and really learning what it means to love what you do, but love yourself more. So if you are interested in learning more about that, and having a conversation with me, you can sign up at Lisacarpenter.ca/collective. And I will reach out to book an appointment so we can have a conversation and see what is going to be a great fit for you. So until next time, thank you for joining me on this episode and allowing me to recap some of my thoughts.

I’m sorry, I cannot share more with you about this retreat. But just know it was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. And probably nothing I will ever experience again. In this way. My birthday was nothing I could have imagined. And so much more than I thought was possible. And I just feel deeply, deeply grateful to have had this experience to have had the opportunity to travel again, that is something I will never ever take for granted again. And I’m just for all of you who reached out on social media to wish me a happy birthday. Thank you so much. If I haven’t gotten back to you yet, it’s because I’m only now just sifting through my voxers and my IGs and my Facebook’s and all the things. So just know that I deeply appreciate all the love that was sent my way. And thank you so much for tuning in.

I hope you are enjoying the new look and feel of the podcasts. I’m really proud of what it’s evolved into. And I look forward to recording another 200 Plus episodes for you in the future. So until we chat again, or until next week, when I’m sure I’ll have something more to say about something. Take good care of you. Because remember, if you’re not making yourself a priority, nobody else is going to you are your responsibility. So take good care, and we will talk on the next episode.